How I turned my community into my business while raising three boys (and one with ADHD)!

Divorced, single mother of three young men 23, 21 and 18.
Born in Tampa, FL to two awesome parents before being planted in Virginia, thanks to military orders for her father. Currently residing in Woodbridge, VA, aka “The DMV.”

Married 10 years prior to becoming a single parent. A challenge that turned into an incredible journey. A career in corporate America, while other gifts were being cultivated and put to work. Often called a hustle. However, blessed to have turned it into a lifestyle worth living. One that allowed her to be everywhere she needed to be for her “three Kings.”

Outreach, entrepreneurship, mentoring single mothers, teaching and being a resource to the community. Her passion to serve has shown up in all that she has shared over the 18 years and everywhere she goes.  She is a wealth of information and life hacks are her specialty. Problems all but run from her. The challenges that come with single motherhood, somehow, are neutralized by way of many unspoken resources. She has a very unique way of solving what would be some most difficult situations. It’s simply resourcefulness as you’ve never known it.

She a woman with a testimony, having lost her mother two months after being married, and her father two years later, and then being left by her husband at seven months pregnant, with two little boys, and the 3rd to be delivered very soon. WHEW, it was tough! Much to be angry and bitter about. But God!

Faith, perseverance, determination and the Spirit of the Lord have brought her HERE! A minister of the Gospel indeed and speaker with a gift of rapport that wreaks of connection, strength, and wisdom. A lover of all humanity and a serial optimist.
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https://www.facebook.com/SingledLoutLoud101/
http://www.bit.ly/SingeMotherSupperstars ​​

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SINGLE MOM CEO
DIETRA JONES
EPISODE 5 TRANSCRIBED

Shahara Wright:     Hi everyone, welcome to Single Mom CEO. I'm so excited today as I am. Every time I speak to these amazing women, single moms who are owning their own business and doing their own thing today I have Dietra Jones and I'm really excited to have her here. Um, not only is she one of my friends, um, we met last year, but she's also a single mom. We share so much in common and so I really, she was like one of the first people I said, you know, Hey, can you please be a part of this show because you have so much good stuff to share. Um, so thank you so much for being here Dietra!

Dietra Jones:     Yes, thank you. You're so welcome. I'm so glad to be here. I'm excited. Like you are, you know, stay as exciting, different ventures, so, so glad to be here. Thank you for having me.

Shahara Wright:     Okay, so tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do. 

Dietra Jones:      ​I'm just giving some background. Okay, well, I am Dietra Jones. I live in the DC Metro area. I am the divorce mom of now three young men. They are 23, 21 and now 18 years old. Um, I have, yes, yes, I'm free. So I have 30 plus years of corporate America experience because I was an executive assistant, uh, long before I got married and had my sons. But then once I did, once I found out I was going to be a single mom, nine 11 happened when I had a newborn baby. I thought, you know what? I don't want to be in corporate America anymore. My son's playing sports. I need to be available to them. And my parents are deceased as well. So I had quite a challenge on my hands with kids five and under. So long story short, I walked off my job after six years at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals with the mortgage and three little kids.

Dietra Jones:     I just knew what I was going to do and I knew that God did not create me to be on a job where I have to ask permission to take care of my children and to be the mother that God called me to be. So I left. And so I've done so many things over these last 18 solid years without support, right? Single handed. But I'm going to tell you, God put some great rest and fun in here. And he gave me people like Shahara right. To meet and to collaborate with that could give me some encouragement in my heart that we could work together and make things happen. So I've made all kinds of things happen. Well, nobody's 18 years old, I can almost sell tickets to this experience. So I'm just glad to be able to share it and that's why I'm here today.

Shahara Wright:      Yay. I'm so glad. So yes. So Dietra and I met at a conference last year and you know, we just happened to sit next to each other. Um, kind of during the downtime where everybody was like a bunch of people sitting together and we were just talking and then we realized as we were talking about stuff, you had a lot of, we were both single moms. We both have boys with ADHD. We both run our own business. And so, and we both, you know, really had a passion to help other single mothers. Um, and so, you know, we connected over that. And for me, one of the things I remember talking about is trying to figure out like what I was really excited about. Like what I really, you know, wanted to and talk about. And there's a lot of different things, but one of the things, you know, we'll notice that, you know, I talk about my kids and that, you know, how I set my schedule and my time and I think that's how we ended up really connecting. And so from your perspective, what was that thing that said, okay, I want to do this thing, I want to do this particular business?

Dietra Jones:     Well, I mean for me it had to start with e-commerce because I had $325 that I had to pay a week for childcare. So that's where it started with me. And I knew, you know, I had sold things online before, you know, I was really an entrepreneur in the background. So I start selling stuff online. And so once I did that, it just spawned from there in 2013 when I started selling on eBay. And Amazon, it was the way that I could be at home. And so many of us, we just want to be home more. You know, you have to do dinner, but yet you don't have any money, so how are you going to make this money? So that's what really catapulted me into it because I needed to start making money right away and I wanted other mothers to learn how to do this without being under pressure or being super mad and angry all the time because it gets spilled over onto our children.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah, that's true. And,  I don't know that we really kind of explained exactly what you do. So Dietra, you're with Singled Out Loud and what does Singled Out Loud do?

Dietra Jones:     Well, Singled Out Loud came to me because I used to launch all types of things in ministry because I was in ministry for 15 years. So everything that I did, I always started under the church. And then when I went to this women's conference, a businesswoman from the Washington Business Center pulled me aside and said, why? She said, it's great that you do ministry, but you need to pull your own self out from under this and brand yourself because any event that you leave, you can't take any of this stuff cause it's not branded under your name. So like three weeks later, God drops Singled Out Loud in my lap and I have grown to love it because still it out loud is something God does. For one thing. My heart is turned totally toward God. And so when he singles you out, it will seem like a crisis to you.

Dietra Jones:     But really, he's stretching and growing you. So I wanted people to be able to live a balanced lifestyle because I was also in the music industry. So being able to not be on the hell express, people always try to put you on, okay, you can live your life. Go to jazz concerts, having a glass of wine, just not be drunk with wine. Okay, so singled out loud is a lifestyle worth living because when you bring God glory and your heart is turned towards serving people, the blessings will come and roll your way. So was Singled Out Loud. I help people reinforce their faith. I show them what a faith walk looks like when you're transparent because I'm not for hiding things. I want to live so that people can see that God is more believable and that it is workable and doable. So that's what singled out loud as about bringing people together. God is behind it all. Whether it's retreats, things that you do with your children as a single parent because you often think you can't afford something or that you don't have the time. No, I'm going to show you how to do all of those things and bring it all together while you're at peace.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, and I think that's important and I think especially for single moms, um, well while there are a lot of single mothers, um, you know, you, you realize that they're, they're single, they're moms, single moms out there. I think you don't really have real support groups. You know, we don't really have a true network of people that we rely upon and get help from. Um, because we're all kind of in the rat race kind of. It always seems. And so to me, I think it's important that we learn how to support each other and find ways to do that. And so I like what you do because you've definitely made sure that these moms are so alone and by themselves.

Dietra Jones:     And I absolutely love doing that. It's, that's where the burning is in my heart because I see so many frustrated single mothers out here. They're so frustrated and they're so mad all the time. And I'm always cheerful. I'm always being silly. No matter how bad it is, we are going to have, we don't pull some fun out of this thing. We're going to have some fun and we're going to also make a lot of things free. So we're going to show you how it's workable because a lot of times we're pulled in so many different directions and money is always the number one. But I'm a yeah, we can do it.

Shahara Wright:    Absolutely. Absolutely. So one of the things I know, I know about you and you also said about, is that how you became divorced, um, when your kids were young, you had three kids decided to start your own business. Did you think about in terms of balancing your business, growing your business with having your kids?

Dietra Jones:      Well, for me, I, I found something that goes along with it and it was the great outdoors and adventures. So I put together these, these adventures, family camp, house and camp grounds, um, putting together universal circuits. I always got people to bring their kids out and then our children became a marketing piece. So that allowed me to be able to get us covered because we need to do group sales and group tickets and group happenings. You save a lot of money. And I was able to pass that on to some mothers that couldn't possibly afford to do it. Or if they had six kids, I paid for three. And then people began to give me money and say, do you try, I know you're blessed. You dog on, right? Cause we're going places and we're going to have fun. Hey, everybody goes to work, everybody's got doctor's appointments. No, we're going to have fun with this money, so let's do it. So trying to bring my kids where I didn't need to find a babysitter for me to go out and find a part time job, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to for me to be able to spend more time with them. So that's all I thought about was things that I could do that would include my kids, that would also generate revenue behind it.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, I think that's really important. And I think, um, for, for all of us, you know, we think about what can we do, um, work around that only our schedule but our kid's schedule. I think that's really important, especially in terms of business. So as your boys were growing up, did they understand what you did was a business and your lifestyle?

Dietra Jones:      I don't think they did the beginning because I had a five year old, a three year old and a brand new baby. So they were so little. But when I did things, I walked them through transactions and I made it fun for them. So they didn't know what they were getting, but I knew what foundation I was lying and I was showing them how on Wednesdays before I went to Bible study, I used to do mystery shopping. We used to go to five guys and they'd go check the guys bathroom and come back and say, Oh mommy, the bathroom is really clean. They didn't know what they were doing, but I'd have them on a mission hunting and then our fruit would be free because I would just be simply doing these surveys so we got to eat free. Before we went to Bible study, they got in on, it felt like they were helping mommy. And so as I got older, I opened their bank accounts for them and I was showing them and talking to them while I was doing things. So, needless to say, they'd go and invite all their friends and I would start way ahead of time so the parents can pay little by little whatever you can pay. And everybody ended up being able to go. That's why my seven passenger van always had nine kids in it. It was everybody.

Shahara Wright:     Right, right. And that sounds like so much fun. So I wanted to kind of pivot a little bit because I wanted to talk to you about having a child with ADHD. Now, how old is your ADHD son?

Dietra Jones:     He's 21.  Just turned 21 in September.

Shahara Wright:     So mine is 11. Um, and I think that this is an important issue. One because I think a lot of times, especially in our community, um, ADHD is so misunderstood. Um, and it's not, um, kind of seeing something that should can seriously, um, and so, and especially with your son being, um, 21, I'm sure that the time that you realize there's something going on, there probably wasn't a lot of help around. And just tell me in terms of diagnosis and when you kind of realize, Hey, you know, we need help with, what were you going through and what were you dealing with in terms of doing that?

Dietra Jones:    Well, the first thing is, I mean I worked at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals, so Conserta is an ADHD drug. So I was very familiar with drug therapy and I was really against it. So it took me two years to even decide to try it because I just didn't, I'm anti-drug, I totally am. I mean I really am. And so when they said that, I said, Oh no, the devil is a liar because I can, I don't have this problem with him at home. And so when they were telling me this and they kept giving him an IEP at school and they even tried to put it on my other son too, but he was always an antagonist. That's how I saw. But of course I never said these words to him, but as a parent, you know, you can use whatever words you want in your head.

Dietra Jones:      He's such an antagonist. So early on, I will always give him, and he's a middle child too, that may have something to do with it, but his focus was so short. So I would, I would give him activities and he was always fiercely competitive too, because he's always envious. And so I let him, I was like, I bet you can't pick up as many toys as Devin. I bet you can't pick as many as Donovan. Set him off on all these different missions and he felt wouldn't special cause he was like, I'll beat you. I beat you. Right. But the room's cleaned up. So that's all I cared about. You know what I mean? I'd sent him on, go get me this and then he finds things. So, I mean, but at school, he was, I had, I swear I repeated the eighth grade. I was at school in classes every day I was there.

Dietra Jones:     And so, um, I tried him on Conserta, but you know what, it made him like a schizophrenic. Um, and so I knew drugs right away and I mean, he'd be scared, he'd be hearing noises. So I said, I don't need, I don't need a doctor telling me he's off of that. What else can we try? Right. So, but he was so agitated, then he didn't eat and I mean he would just be, um, you know, insecurity to about within himself. So all of these things, anxiety that goes along with having ADHD because they're looking around, they're comparing themselves to people. So he got on Adderall finally. And so he calmed down some, but then he started saying he didn't like the way itself, but that's great for you to say that, but now you're going to have to tell mommy what that means. Yeah. So he was on it for a little while and I wouldn't give it to him on the weekends and they would say, well, you have to, because his levels, I was like, listen, that's a level that y'all have a problem with.

Dietra Jones:     I don't give it to him on the weekends cause I don't have a problem at home, but I'm not fighting my son. I can control him, you know? So, but he was wanting for a little while and then I decided I'm going to take them completely off of it and just work with him and it was with his IEP and I finally got to some teachers who understood, because I put him in an all boys' program. It was a coed school, but they were trying this pilot program with all these teachers were males and that worked. Yeah, work. They had basketball hoops in the class. The kids, if they felt at, you know, like they wanted to get up, they could get up and go do stuff that was productive. Right. So that's how I ended up taking him off of it because it can really, it's really such a delicate balance, so you really have to be on top of it completely and it works differently for each child.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's true. I think that's the important thing. And my son, my son is on medication. He's on Adderall as well and it has worked. I was lucky. I think we were very blessed that we did not have to go through a whole bunch of changes in terms of medication, really managing the dosage now like it, but he says it doesn't make any difference, which I is clearly not true.  I could definitely tell the difference between him on meds and not meds, but they're accurate too. Um, but for me, you know, one of the things that happened with my son when we got him diagnosed, he was at six and he was going to first grade and he like from private school to, um, to a public school. And I noticed in private school when he was in kindergarten, actually before then, I had started kind of saying something is not right. Oh, rambunctiousness for a little boy. And I have, so, you know, I was like, this is, this is a whole different kind of thing.

Shahara Wright:     Um, and so when he got to first grade it was, Oh my gosh, he was having the worst time teacher was like, you know, can he even hold the scissors? Does he know how to write? I mean basic stuff that he clearly knew how to do, but he was so overwhelmed because students were much more, the pace was faster, you know, adjust. And so I'm hastened, um, to get him diagnosed and get him, you know. And that even took some time and I think one of my best friends, her daughter has ADHD and she kinda helped me through the process, was not getting any assistance from anybody else. And so we were very lucky in that sense. But I say all that to say that in that process, you do spend a lot of time, you know, away from your business, you're up at the school.

Shahara Wright:     And so how are you managing, trying to run your business through all the lack of, for lack of a better word, drama, having to deal with, to be able to care for your son.

Dietra Jones:      I mean, do you really want to know I'm thankful that I'm a high energy system because I was up all night. I mean, I be pulling all nighters and it was so amazing and funny all the one hand because my son told his mentor, he seems concerned about me. He goes, I don't think my mom ever sleeps. He goes, when I go to bed, she's awake. And when I wake up, she's awake. And so I laughed at that. But he was so concerned that I was never getting any sleep. So that's why I had this thing called after nine is my time because the house was silent between 8:45 and 9:00 PM there were no voices spoken at all. Even as they got older, after nine was my time.

Dietra Jones:      And if you don't to be at the hospital or me to be in jail or, or you're talking to me because I wouldn't mind listing things online to sell during my drop shipping business and all that stuff behind that. And that's how I did it. I would be up all night because in the daytime, I mean, I still need like a cat nap, like you two to four or something like that. But I was in, sometimes day's ran together, but as long as I got those appointments done and got them with their homework done and I could cook my meals on Sundays, I had like restaurant day and I organize my time cooking for the week on Sunday cause I never knew what might happen. Cause remember I didn't have anybody except me. So whatever came up I had to handle it all.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's really important. Especially having a schedule. I know for one of the things that I do in terms of that is, you know, my clients all know that I have kids and they all know like, you know, I pick up and drop off my son. I'm like all my kids, all my clients know that. Right. You know, this is the time I have the work between this time and this time. And if you make it happen in between these times, you wait till the next day. So it's a big condition to understand like I'm this. Even, you know, [my clients] are like, Oh I know you were dropping off your son off.  I waited until I know I can get you. And I was like, okay, yeah, you know, you have to block that time off. I definitely think that you have to ensure, um, that you keep a tight schedule and it makes sure that people are clear about your time, whether it's your kids, whether it's, um, you know, your clients or whomever.

Shahara Wright:    With that, I think keeping that tight schedule, um, helps you, um, ensure that you are able to, you know, consistently, you know, be good at whatever it is that you're doing. So I wanted to kind of move into that, you know, between, you know, kids and the world. I think a lot of conversation with the moms that I've had so far is really trying to find that on the time, um, times where you just have, for you to relax until you not worried about worried about your kids or whatever. So what did you do to find the time?

Dietra Jones:     Well, I had a heck of a support network and a village. I mean extraordinary because between my neighbors that were next door and we all knew each other from as you were pregnant having our children. And I had people who could either go by, check on my sons or I would set up play dates. But remember I had three and it, remember Demetrius was the ADHD kid so you couldn't just send him anywhere because the next thing you know your kids will be arguing. Everybody was fine until Demetrius came. Okay be careful. He would pretty much go somewhere to his own friend's house cause he tried to share friends that didn't work. It's like boy, come on. No, no. So getting a network is when you're a single mom, especially if you have limited family support. And I did because my parents were deceased and my brother was out of the country.

Dietra Jones:     So set up an incredible, and that's what I did. I wouldn't, I would see when something's that would show, do I want to go to who else wants to go? Then I'd have my kids place at these places with people that I absolutely could even turn my phone off because these are people who knew they could be Dietra Jones if I'm not there and something goes down, do whatever you would do. Cause they know me that well and so that was so important and precious to me and that's what I did. I would find something I wanted to do, but you know, sometimes, I mean, if you can work it in last minute that's cool. And sometimes I could, you know, I also had a good relationship with their dad so I would also like to find time to go away maybe like every three or four months. I might go somewhere for a weekend and he honestly would come to our house cause he didn't have his own and watch the guys while I was gone because he wanted them to be in their own space. So I would say maintaining an amicable relationship with the noncustodial parent nomad. This woman said, it's really important no matter what they are doing. Get your understanding so they can come and, pretend for about two or three days and you go and do whatever you're going do, do it.

Dietra Jones:     Get away, get your time in. Amen. Hallelujah. That's fine. But can you pretend on the weekend of such, right, right. Yeah. Just, just for these two days. Hold it. Now thinking about that, you know what, I guess other advice, I mean, do you have any do's or don'ts in terms of running your own business and being in a single mom? Um, for other women out there? The most important thing and the worst thing that you can do is to start doing something that you hate. Just for the money. There's no such thing as just for the money. You're going to catch hell, okay. It's going to be in one area or another. Do not do, I don't care what everybody else is doing. Do what you love to do and the money will come. I promise you, every single passion that I have that God has given me execute and it comes with it.

Dietra Jones:     Right? That's what I'm saying. Find what you like and talk to other mothers and don't be MDs. Okay? That's one thing. Don't do that. Genuinely have your heart clear. Talk to people because you'll get a lot of information. I call her recon, Kathy, your eyes and your ears and your mind open, right? Because you have to create one. If there is no opportunity, create one, right? Be afraid, never want opposition. It just doesn't matter. Other people don't. They won't comprehend your skill level on the angle that you're coming from. It's okay. Do it. Do it. And don't be afraid. Find people like me to support you. And Orthodox is only certain people. I'll be like, Shahara girl, this sounds crazy, but I don't have the time. No one else needs to understand. Long as you got your front-line people talk to them and ignore the rest of them.

Shahara Wright:      Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much for that. So Dietra why don't you tell us how we can contact you, um, how we can buy from you. How can we support you and your business?

Dietra Jones:    Well, you can find me at singled out loud on every platform Singled Out because God singled me out and out loud, loud testimony that they won't be able to ignore them. I'm on every platform, whether it's Instagram, Facebook, my name is Deirdre Jones. I have begun scoping again on Periscope. You can find me there. You can also, yeah, you can also go to http://www.bit.ly/SingeMotherSupperstars. That's what it stands for because I show single mothers how to become something that you call brand ambassadors. The people that you see that agreeing you when you come in the stores. Please understand that we are making $22 an hour. And it's funny because people have said, Oh it's so nice of you to volunteer. I'm like, no, but I don't have to explain it. Remember, we don't have to explain.

Dietra Jones:     So I show you how to like the other weekend I didn't have to ask her. I mean there's so many opportunities that you can get out and remember we're single. Hello? Yes. Get out, meet people, feel productive. Get a check and be able to support your family. So yes, the intra Jones and singled out loud anywhere and I gave you the link, but when you inbox me on any of those platforms, I'm here for your support. Let's do this and we can with dignity and respect. We don't have to compromise our characters or our bodies. Y'all don't believe. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you so much.

Shahara Wright:     Sure. I always love talking to you. I'm so glad that you were able to come here and to share you guys and make sure you reach out to the teacher. We'll have all the links and stuff available as well. If you want to hear more about Single Mom CEO. Then you can find this on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/shaharawright. That's my name. Shahara Wright.

​We also have a Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSucccess. And so you can find us at all of these places. Connect with us here more. You have more great women coming. So thank you and I look forward to seeing you next time. Bye bye.