How I balance my heavy travel schedule with being a Single Mom - Featuring Jennifer Fontanilla

As an experienced speaker, financial coach, bestselling author, and former financial advisor, Jen Fontanilla has been in the finance industry for 15 years and helps entrepreneurial women take control of their finances so they gain clarity, hope, and confidence to live out their true passion and purpose.  Her focus is to help them identify the habits and money stories that are holding them back and empowering them to level up to create transformative, lasting change.

Connect with Jen at:
Connect with me on Facebook www.facebook.com/jenfontanilla or @jenmoneycoach
Instagram @jen.fontanilla
GET YOUR FREE GUIDE:  10 Mistakes Solopreneurs Make When It Comes to Their Money at www.jenfontanilla.com/gettheguide

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Single Mom CEO
​Jennifer Fontanilla
 Episode 2 Transcribed

Shahara Wright:      Hi everyone. Welcome to Single Mom CEO today with asked me today. Oh my goodness, I can't talk. Today we have Jennifer Fontanilla and I'm really excited to have Jennifer and I know I say that about every guest. I just might as well just stop saying that. I'm really excited and just start off with the whole excitement thing. I always love the ladies that we get a chance to talk to because they are so inspiring to me and I know that they will be inspiring to everyone else. And Jennifer, I met, um, I think a year ago, maybe a little bit longer. Um, yeah, about a year ago, um, through a, an event. And so we kind of stayed friends via Facebook. And so when I started Single Mom CEO, she was one of the people that I said I definitely have to have on this show. So thank you Jennifer.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Oh my gosh. Thank you.

Shahara Wright:     So Jennifer, why don't you introduce yourself and tell the audience a little bit about who you are.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Sure. Well, hi everyone. Welcome. Thanks for being here and watching. My name's Jen and I've been in the financial services industry for about 15 years and originally I started as a financial advisor. So I have experience in insurance and retirement planning and investments and all that kind of stuff and went through the market crash. So I know what it's like to go through something like that and seeing what clients go through, but also at the end of it, you know, seeing the ones that made good decisions, how they weather the storm. And then slowly I decided, you know, I felt that there was a discrepancy where I, I just always felt as an advisor there's, there's things that you work on it, there's those steps, right? And I realized we need to take a step back because some people haven't gotten the budgeting down the credit is not where it needs to be and all those types of things, but everybody's trying to jump into, I need to invest.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And so it bothered me that the foundation wasn't there. It bothered me that, you know, as an advisor, you don't really address those things. You kind of throw somebody a budget sheet. But you know that people aren't really going to do it. You just know they're not gonna do it. And so I decided that I needed to shift the business and a lot of things were changing in the securities, which was an investment world. And so I realized I wanted to transition more into the financial and money coaching. And so, you know, it gave me more autonomy. I felt that it was a better place for me. I felt like I can really make that impact by helping people, making those decisions at a fundamental level where it's like, okay, let's start, let's start on the right split, let's understand what we're doing. Then we can build upon that because, you know, sometimes it'd be backwards.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Then people would be like, Oh wait, now I can't invest. Or now I can't pay for my insurance. Because a lot of the foundation wasn't built properly. And so one of my focuses is that I love helping women, especially ones that are solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, because that's the, that's such a unique space. You know, we deal with so many different things. I mean even where here, you know, Single Mom CEO, same, same I thing, you know, same idea where we have unique situations. And so I love that space and I love supporting women, make those decisions. Especially, you know, in the, you know, the coaching world and the entrepreneurial world. There are so many things to buy. There are so many things that I'm moving parts. And so I really love helping women make that, um, make that foundation strong so that everything that they build upon is this Olympic followed.

Shahara Wright:      That's so good. And I think you're right. It's so needed. And I think even with that, there's so few people that really understand that unique situation, especially when you're dealing with entrepreneurs, um, that you know, your income is not always guaranteed. Um, and so I think, you know, to have someone in the financial planning world that understands that really makes a difference. So, um, yeah, I think that's such a needed, um, aspect of, of what you do.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Thank you.

Shahara Wright:      So from your business, were you always on your own or were you working for a company and then decided to go on your own?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     It's actually kind of been on my own. Um, you know, because from the beginning, it has always been a contract, so it's, they're familiar, you know, 1099 so you're pretty much on your own. There was never a guaranteed paycheck. You know, I asked some reserves in the very beginning and, you know, you burn through that fast and, and it's interesting because you know, you, for some of you that have that space of, you know, you had that job and that guaranteed paycheck and you hated it. You hated that job. You couldn't wait to leave. But then, you know, as you go through the transition, you're like, Oh no, it wasn't so bad.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Right. You go through those things and you, you realize, um, that, Oh my gosh, this is so crazy. And um, but no, from the beginning it's always been, you know, on a contractual basis. Um, and so that was an interesting, you know, transition where you're so used to every two weeks that's like so easy to plan your budget. Everything was so easy to plan, plan. And then when I made that transition, when I, you know, I was working, offered reserves, you know, at the same time you start, you just always in the back of your mind and you start seeing this, okay, you just know in your mind that that resource is depleting and you have to build this. And so it's this thing that you juggled from the get go. So it's been a roller coaster, but you know, that's, I think that's the thrill that we love about it is that it's exciting. You're, you're a creator, you're making things happen, you're helping people solve their problems. And yes, I think that's what makes all of it exciting.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. I, I think you're right. It does make an exciting, sometimes nerve wracking, but exciting at the same time. So as we all know, this a Single Mom CEO, so you are in fact a single mom. Do you have a boy or girl?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I have an eight year old boy going on 17.

Shahara Wright:     I have, um, two and my youngest is 11, and I swear I'm, and he's like 45, like the same age as me. And I'm like, Oh my God, I just can't with you. So

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I know. Totally get it. Totally. I'm right behind you.

Shahara Wright:     So in juggling, you know, yourself, your business and, you know, being a single mom, how do you work around your schedule? I know we had a good conversation, you know, pre interview, talking about your speaking engagements and things like that. So I know you do a lot of speaking. So how do you kind of work around that schedule of being there for your son and, and traveling for your speaking?

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Yes, great question. Um, first I have to thank God for my parents. They're both retired. Ironically, I handle their accounts so I know they did very well and I'm so blessed that they, you know, they did a great job. And my mom, it's funny with my dad and I joke about it like, yeah, mom did really, really good and I'm saving and uh, they're like my poster children of what you should be doing. But because the them and um, thank goodness are retired, I have them. So I'm, I know not everybody has that resource. You know, to, to go to the grandparents. Um, but you know, for them, you know, they, they, they love the grandson. His name is CJ, Christopher Jordan. And so thankfully I have them when I travel, but it's, it's hard, you know, it's one of those things where, okay, what's the least amount of time it can be gone, what's the earliest flight I can get?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     What's the earliest I can book back home? And, you know, just trying to stay in touch through, you know, messenger manger kids through the iPad or whatnot. Um, so that makes it tough on, you know, it's really about scheduling and telling them ahead of time like, okay here or even if I don't have to like leave out of town. It really is time management to just be able to travel. I have to be very informative. I'm like, okay, I'm going to be gone from like, even if it's as simple as like had to be gone from, you know, 7:30 a.m. when I go, cause I live in LA, everybody, so you know, traffic, you know, it's, it's like it takes two hours to get somewhere that's five miles away. And so I think I'm still thankful for things like zoom webinars and stuff like that. But you know, it's, it's very important to communicate, okay, I need, can you watch him from this to you take them to school, you know, can you pick them up and that type of thing.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      So it's just about communication and being able to schedule and plan ahead and, um, and for me to communicate that to them. And, and thank God I've had, um, very, very supportive women in my life too. I think I would, um, I'm currently publishing a book and there were times when like, you know, I felt bad it was the weekend and, and my son is like, he's going to be bored. And so I've had friends who like, you know, do you want me to take them? And thankfully they had kids too. I'm like, I'll give you money, you know, that way he's not forced. So, you know, you really, I think every other day it really comes down to have you built that support system, whether it's family, friends, you know, you really, really have to build some kind of support system around you so that you can figure out how to maneuver around your business and you know, have that time with your child at the same time.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, no, I think that's really important. I think a lot of, um, moms, you know, definitely feel like, yes, the support system, um, has to be strong, um, and being able to be there. Do you engage him at all in your business or do you make sure that he just has something else completely to do?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I try to engage them to the point where it's enough for his age, but I do joke in my mind that, yeah, you know, like there's going to be a day where you're going to be working the conference and might have a lot. You get a pass off sent to the back or whatever. And um, but why it was so important. And since, um, I think when he was three, I remember this was the first memory I had. I was in the kitchen. Of course, I'm practicing a presentation and I'm walking around. So I looked like a crazy person because I'm talking to myself. And so he's, I think he was three at the time. And he goes, well, what are you doing? And I said, Oh, I'm trying to see my speech. It's just like, Oh, can I do it? You know, think little things like that I would engage him.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And then so even along the way he would see, you know, something like this, like a, a zoom call. And he, it was so funny because he is, he's always around me, you know, because you have that flexibility in your schedule. And, and ladies, I know there's times when you're like, Oh no, another day off from school. Like some people I see on Facebook, they get excited. I don't, I don't get excited cause now I'm like, okay, that's, I feel like that's one day away from my time that I would have been working. But you know, all in good balance, but you know, he would get to the point where he would recognize certain people that I was going on zoom call meetings or he would recognize, Hey, that person live on Facebook. So it's interesting because it's not like everybody has an opportunity to take their child to traditional workplace, but, but as you know, a lot of times your home is your workplace.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      And so he's been immersed in it. So in, in that regard, he's seen the different things I've done. Um, he, he understands that, you know, I have to, you know, not all my travel is like fun. I mean, I tried to make it fun, but, you know, it's not like, Hey, I'm going to no vacation. So he's, he's starting to see that world where, okay, you're going out of town for another conference. And I stay in communication with him when I'm gone so that he understands, like, okay, okay, it's two more days. Okay, I'm gonna come back tomorrow morning. So, you know, depending on what it is I'm doing, he's, he's seen the different things I've been involved with along the way.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah, that's good. I think, um, you know, that's important. I don't really think my kids know what I do. They know I'm a lawyer. Um, and I see some aspects of it, but I don't think I've ever really, truly engaged them in, um, what I do. Um, so I always find it interesting and how other women are incorporating kids and their business, because I probably would've done the complete opposite and probably kept them away from as much legal stuff as I could. So I find that interesting. And I think that's good. And I, and especially with travel, um, because I know this year I reduced my travel significantly. It was, to me it was becoming more stressful because of the schedules and the things that he was doing and getting into and all that kind of stuff, that it was more stressful for me. So how do you find it for yourself? You know, trying to manage all that, that you are kind of managing your own stress of dealing with being gone, uh, and making sure that he does everything he needs to do. And you know, grandparents, um, always allow the kids to do a whole lot more than you would ever let them do. I know my mom does anyway. Sure. Stuff was still is running smoothly and they haven't, you know, gone all Lord of the flies on you while you're gone.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      I was just talking about that book recently. It's funny you brought it up. Um, but yes, I um, for me, I'm a stickler for self-care. If anything, I'm really good at. I am, I got that nailed down like two ways. Science, I mean, I practice meditation. I almost said medication could be meditation. I practice meditation, prayer and I, I mean I go to the gym and people go, well, how often do you, I'm like, it's 20, not 24, seven. I would be dead. I, you know, I do that every day and I, and I, I have to from my own mental state, you know, for it to de-center myself and to have that time for myself in the, in the morning. And then, you know, at nighttime, I, I've, it's just been a practice that I had done for several years now. And so it's so ingrained in me that it's just very, very habitual.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I tell people, it's like I'm brushing my teeth, so for me I do that. Then, you know, when it comes to the balance, you know, like, like you, you had to make a decision, like, you know, I have to cut back. And so for me, I, I will look at the entire year and I'm like, okay, how often was I ​gone, you know? Okay. And even from a financial standpoint, you know, okay, did I, am I, am I making a return on investment for this event? And sometimes I have to make a decision like, no, I'm not going to go to another conference or, you know, I already was gone three times in the last month. So I have to play that on in my head and say like, you know, I'm going to not do that, or I need a scale back. So just like you, you know, you just realize like, you know, it's too much.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And sometimes I, you know, I, like I mentioned in the questions, I said, you know, there's times when I have to be present. And it's hard because you know, the business becomes something. You just become so engrossed in and you want to keep moving, moving forward, which is understandable. But at the same time, you do understand that there's this little person with you and you only have such a small amount of time with them because I think about like, there's gonna be that day, you know, going to become 18 or it might even be sooner where he's like, I don't want to hang out with you mom. And I don't want to think about, Oh my gosh, I missed out on those years because your business can always essentially be there, but your child is not gonna always want to hang out with you. So, you know, I have to keep those types of things in mind.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, no, I think that's really important. Um, I, I know, um, and I've said this before on the show that, you know, I made a decision, like I said, I have two kids, my oldest is 22, and when I graduated from law school, he was a year and a half; well he was a year old, when I graduated from law school. And by the time I, you know, passed the bar and started my own business or whatever he was, you know, two. And I had gone to, um, uh, continuing legal education class and one of the guys that was talking, um, was talking about how much time he missed with his son and you know, this was a male. And so he was talking about how he missed a lot of time with his son. And he regretted that. And that was the one thing, the one thing that when I started my business, I said, I'm not going to do that.

Shahara Wright:      Like, I'm not going to have my kid, not know who I am. Um, because I'm so busy working and I feel that, you know, throughout the years and it's been 20 years, you know, that I've missed out on a lot of things. There's a lot more I could have had or should have had or would have had had I taken a different approach. And so sometimes people will say, Oh, Hey, you, you know, why aren't you at this level? Or why aren't you doing that? And I think, well, it was because of the choices that I made, not to work, you know, or not to do certain things. And so of course that is impacting my business, but I'm okay with it. So I just wonder how you feel about that in terms of impacting your business. Kind of the would've, could've, should've, um, how you've managed to say, you know what, I'm okay with whatever happens because this thing is more important.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Absolutely. That's such an interesting topic. And I agree with you. You know, it's, it was interesting with your story because of all the things that you walked away with, it was that it had nothing to do with the business in a sense. Not a direct correlation. And so the fact that that was so important to you and that it carried throughout, you know, that that just says how much weight there is on that. And so for me, I completely resonate with what you said, because even when I got pregnant, I remember thinking like, Oh my gosh, I don't even know how to take care of kids. Um, you know, for me, I knew I needed to learn as I go. And you know, there was so much adjustments, but you know, and it's just, it's such an interesting thing where you don't even, you look back, you're like, how did they even do this?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Right? How did I even just make this happen? And you would just see when I was pregnant and I was asking people who are already parents, they just go, I don't know, you figure it out. And I thought that is the dumbest answer. And now that I went through it myself, I'm like, okay, I see why they said that because you just figure it out. And so for me, you know, I, I do understand there's sacrifice and there's that balance. And you know, it's, it's this, it's weird because you have two kind of things. Okay. The child, like I said earlier, is only going to be a certain, a certain age for so long. So I know that it's not that our business can't get to that level. It just means not right away. And I'm okay with that. You know, cause there's some people that I see that everybody has different goals.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And so, you know, when you're a parent, when you're, you know, particular for this situation, you know, when you're a mom you just inherently understand that you have certain goals. Yes, you want to grow your business, but yes, you do have a child. And so there's going to be that in a sense of delayed gratification. But I'm okay with that because at the end of the day, you know, you hear that, that one story that says, you know, when you're at your desk, then nobody's going to say, I wish I worked more. Everybody's, Oh, it's all right. It's always going to be this story that says that person, you know, I think it was at church, somebody talked about how they, obviously little pastors are going to pray over the person there who are going to, you know, it's time for them to pass pretty soon. And so they're praying and they said that a lot of times, you know, they'll notice that everybody will always be, the person that's about to pass away is always saying something like, you know, I wish I spent more time with my family.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I wish I invested more into my relationship. And so just like you would that guy that you heard, I think about things like that. I take that kind of, I take that to heart because then I think about, I don't want to be that person that said, man, I, you know, I shouldn't have spent so much time on the business. I'm gonna think about my family. I'm gonna think about my son. I'm going to think about those things that are at the end of the day are way more important. And so when I can remember that, that grounds me. And then I don't have that regret. I'm like, yeah, you know what? I may not be there. I may not have X, Y, and Z and whatever. It doesn't mean I'll never get it. It just means not right away. And so when I think about that and have that, that I'm tunnel vision for that, that I don't want to go through that experience. It really helps me like, no, I'm cool, I'm good. I'm cause I don't want to have that. I don't want to have that regret. 

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, yeah. I think that's important, especially for us moms is, you know, and in doing our business, because I say the Facebook effect or have a social media effect where you see these people doing all these amazing things and you're like, Oh, you know, I want to do that. But what it takes to get that, the time it takes, the energy it takes when you're the sole provider, you can't really do both of those things effectively. I don't, at least I don't think, I've never met anybody that can.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Yeah, it's, it's, it's tough. I was going to say too, Oh, I'm sorry. Did I add to it? Cause you brought up, you brought the Facebook thing and it's hard because I, I'll, you know, if I'm going to be real, you know, there's times I'm like, well, let's be nice to have a solid partner.  They have that extra, it lets me know that you don't have to work, you know, and I'm not knocking anybody else's lifestyle. It's just you, you know, you can't but help compare and whether that's healthy or not, depending on what level you do it too, you know, we can be unhealthy, but it does make you aware. You're like, okay, that's just not my path. That's not how it worked out for me. That's okay. I'm not going to, I'm just not going to get that in that in the same way you did, but that's okay. We all have our own path or journey or story, but, um, but no, I, I'm very well aware of that Facebook, Instagram effect.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah. And I think you just have to, I think, you know, for us as single moms, I think we have to be okay with it not being that way. Um, you know, I, I talked about this a little bit and I talk about it more later, but I am very strict with my schedule and because I'm strict with my schedule, a lot of times people think, well, Oh, you're not really hustling or you're not really doing this. And it's not so much that I'm not, but that there's only so much time for that. Like I'm not, there's things I'm just not willing to sacrifice for the dollar and that's okay with me. Um, even though it may not be okay with somebody else and I'm not ever trying to obtain this certain thing just for other people to look at me at a certain way because there are only two people really in my life, you know, that I want to make sure that when they think about me, what their words are is that she wasn't ever there like that. That's to me is like my worst nightmare is that my boys would think, you know, you weren't ever really there for me and I, I totally, you know, um, a lot in terms of when I'm making my decisions about when and where I'm gonna be or how I'm going to do something that's not the conversation that, you know, you can be mad at me about a whole lot of stuff, but that's not the one thing you're going to be upset with me.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     It ain't going to be that one.

Shahara Wright:     Yes.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Oh wow. I love this. I love what you're doing. It's just amazing cause it's, it's a different world. It's a different mindset. It's a different place. Definitely.

Shahara Wright:     It definitely is. It definitely is. So, Jennifer, I know we could probably talk about this like all day. Um, I know I can. Um, and so we will chat more about this, but, um, let us know like how we can get contact with you. How can we support your business? How can we, um, you know, help you, uh, get your business where you want it to be by being supportive.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Oh, thank you. Yes. If you want to get in contact with me and I will share the link with Shahara and if you can reach me, you can go on my site at www.jenfontanilla.com/gettheguide and then I also give her a mailing to um, you know, Instagram and Facebook as well. And then, um, if you go to my website, though, be a freebie about, um, 10 mistakes I like full printers make and so things that they're not doing. So if you want to go ahead and grab that free guide, feel free to go there. Um, but yeah, I'm pretty accessible. So, um, if you have any questions, if you are in a place where you know you've had these goals in regards to money and, um, for example, has been trying to do a budget or you've been trying to get things under control, but for some reason it's just not happening. It's not clicking and you have all the best intentions. Um, you know, reach out. We can do a 15 minute call. We can talk about that and see, um, you know what we can do. 

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's great. You guys make sure you connect with Jennifer. I, one of the things I would definitely want to do is do some special series around these issues, especially with single moms and money and Jennifer and I talked about maybe doing something later on so we'll definitely get something out to you because I think especially for us, single moms, this is such an important issue and topic, uh, you know, managing the money and even, I'm going to admit I'm not a brave money manager, but I mean even for those of you that are a top notch, um, this is something that I think you can't get too much of. Um, so make sure you reach out to Jennifer and I'm the connect with her. We'll have all the links and everything for you, but make sure you reach out to her. So thank you so much, Jennifer, for being a part. I really appreciate you coming and sharing your story. Thank you so much for being here.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Thank you for having me. It's been great.

Shahara Wright:     Okay, you guys will, we will see you next time on Single Mom CEO. Okay, I'm going to get my speech together. We will see there and make sure that you like our Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSuccess/
Check us out on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/shaharawright
 Um, and we'll see you next time. Have a good day. Bye

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Bye everyone.