Why I left my Six Figure Job to be a Better Mom! - Featuring Kalilah Wright

​Kalilah Wright, born in Jamaica W.I., migrated to the United States at the tender age of 4 and was raised in Brooklyn, NY. She is the Founder and CEO of expressive brand Mess in a Bottle. As an accomplished designer and trained architect, she used her Masters degree from Morgan State University and Bachelors of Arts from Penn State University to establish the brand in January 2016 in Baltimore, Maryland. Mess in a Bottle allows you to put messages on t-shirts and are packaged in reusable bottles.

The Mess in a Bottle brand was established to evoke change, question Kalilah’s audience and allow individuals wearing their messages to be vocal without saying anything at all.
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Each item is designed and printed at her Baltimore in-house studio space.

Kalilah has participated in multiple pitch competitions and won the Wells Fargo Business Pitch competition at Blogalicious in 2016 and most recently, the 2018 iFundWomen pitch competition in conjunction with the Baltimore Ravens. Celebrities such as Serena Williams, Luvvie Ajayi, Lena Waithe, Yvonne Orji, and fashion gurus Claire Sulmers and Ty Tyrone, are all proud supporters of Mess in a Bottle.

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Single Mom CEO
​Kalilah Wright
 Episode 1 Transcribed

Shahara Wright:            Okay. Hi, welcome to Single Mom CEO. I am Shahara Wright. I'm really excited today to bring with you, bring to you, sorry I can't talk this morning. Um, Kalilah Wright. And we're not related. Um, with Mess in a Bottle and I was really excited to speak with Kalilah; I met her probably about four years ago. She probably doesn't even remember me, but I met her, um, at Blogalicious. Um, he won an award there and that was the first time I interacted with you and we ended up kind of meeting kind of couples again and I follow you on your Facebook page. And I was really, when I thought about doing this show, you were like the very first person I was like, I have to get her on this show. So Single Mom CEO is really a series and talking about what it's like to be a single mom, a full-time business owner, and really kind of going through the ins and outs of what that's like. And Kalilah thank you so much for being here and welcome to the show.

Kalilah Wright:     Thank you. Thanks again for having me.

Shahara Wright:     No problem. So Kalilah why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your business and what you do.
 
Kalilah Wright:     Um, so again, my name is Kalilah Wright. I'm the owner of Mess in a Bottle. So Mess In a bottle, is a tee shirt company, and we put messages on tee shirts and they come packaged in a reusable bottle. A little bit about me. . . I was born in Jamaica, West Indies and I migrated to the United States at four years old. Um, and I lived in New York for most of my life and I then went to, um, college at Penn state university and I have my Masters in Architecture from Morgan State University and I now reside in Baltimore, Maryland. And I am a single mom to a beautiful six-year-old son.

Shahara Wright:     Wow. That is amazing. So what got you from architecture to doing tee shirts?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, you know, I think that it's a design field. Um, I was always a designer. Um, I just went from designing buildings to now the designing of apparel and designing messages and curating messages for people's lives. Um, but I started Mess in a Bottle in 2016, right after the 20, uh, right after the Freddie gray riots here in Baltimore. Um, I lived in that neighborhood. I lived in that community and, um, I was working at Under Armor as an architect and it really felt like there was a lot of race related, um, and police brutality incidents and everyone was tiptoeing around the issue and it felt like no one wanted to really have a, they were afraid to have conversations around what was happening in my community. So I started Mess in a Bottle as a form of communication and a way for people to have these important conversations without feeling like they had to really explain themselves. So Mess in a Bottle. We allow people to have a voice and we give a voice to the voiceless. And so that's kinda how Mess in a Bottle was erected and started.

Shahara Wright:           Yeah, that's a great story. It’s very unique in terms of, you know, being moved by something that happened in your neighborhood and wanting to do something about it. But then I think about, you know, what it has to take for you to leave your job and start a business. And I know how difficult it is, you know, owning a business and then taking care of your son. So what made you think, okay, I can do this business and you know, be able to provide for my son even though I don't have this steady paycheck?

Kalilah Wright:               Um, well, I have a, I have student loan debt as well as, you know, I just wanted to live a very, a comfortable life. And one day after receiving my paycheck and I was making six figures at Under Armor, um, but it just still was not enough, especially being a single mom. And so I told myself like, okay, I could work here for however many years and I could receive a raise. And, you know, and it was at the point where my son, he was only three years old at the time, and he would come with me to work and, you know, sometimes he would, I would, uh, put a little caught underneath my desk and I would let him sleep and nap. And I would be sometimes doing work until 1:00 AM 2:00 AM and I just really realized like this wasn't the life, especially because my salary would only grow like one to 2%, you know, however often.

Kalilah Wright:         And I just was like, this is, I'm not going to make ends meet. And so I knew then that if I wanted to take a bet on anything, it would be taken a bet on myself and just really, um, taken the leap of faith to say if I'm going to create a life for myself, a life that is enjoyable, a life where if my son becomes sick, I can stay home or work from home. I don't have to report to anyone. So I just really wanted to create what, you know, a comfortable situation would be for me as a mother.

Shahara Wright:          Yeah. I, I really feel that because, um, I started my business kind of very different reasons, but I started my business and when my son was two years old. And so I think that age right there, you kind of really making these decisions about what you're going to do with your life and how you foresee, you know, raising your kids. And for me, I really had to make, um, a decision about what kind of time I was going to spend at home, what kind of time I was going to be at work. I mean, I really still to this day struggle with kind of making those decisions. Do you have a hard time deciding like, okay, how much do I need to work versus how much I need to be at home? And you know, those kinds of things.

Kalilah Wright:    Of course, there's a lot of pressure on you, you know, being an entrepreneur, I think there's even a greater responsibility because if I don't work, it's like you don't get paid. Um, so I think that, uh, you know, even though you're flexible, you're able to make your own schedules and all this other stuff, it's still a responsibility where you have to take care and be the provider. There's no, there is no check on Fridays if you, you know, if you didn't go into work. Um, so I think that, um, it, it pushes you and I think that you still have to make those decisions. And I think for the first maybe two years of my business, um, you know, my son suffered a lot in the sense of I would put my business as the priority to sort of make sure that I was at the forefront.

Kalilah Wright:        But now I'm at a place where, um, you know, I try to make sure that I put his needs first and, you know, maybe a lot of travel. I definitely, even though it's those fields, like I travel a lot, I've slowed down a little bit this year where I'm very conscious about the different projects I'm going to do. And, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm more, um, you know, I'm a more aware of where I need to be and either training someone to see if an assistant could then be the person that able to, um, to head to a certain job site. So those are now decisions that I've made to, um, you know, to, to make it a little bit easier for me.

Shahara Wright:        Yeah, that makes sense. Was there anything in particular that happened that caused you to shift your mindset about how you were dealing with your son and your in balancing your time?

Kalilah Wright:             My son broke his femur, so your femur is right between your hip and your knee and you know, it's your thigh bone. And my son fell and he broke his, you know, he broke his leg and it was not like they had to do surgery, they had to put pins, we had to have a wheelchair, we had to have a Walker. And I think that really forced me to sit down and force me to sit down and force me to like really be there more for him as well as to make those hard decisions where, you know, there's certain events and certain things I just cannot do. So I think now I'm more, um, I sort of, uh, you know, have a schedule in which like, you know, I give maybe two weekends a month I'm home and maybe two of them I'm awake, but I try to balance it a little bit better. And then the weekends I'm away, no matter how much I hate a Chuck E cheese or a Dave and busters or, you know, I'm definitely not the soccer mom, but like at least, you know, we went on roller skating and we went bowling and he loved it. Um, so, you know, like those are like the fun still packed things that I'm really trying to instill within his schedule, within mind, you know, so that it'll sort of make up for the weekends in the times that I'm not there.

Shahara Wright:          Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think, you know, just from my perspective, um, you, it's very hard. And I, of course, everybody has some kind of mommy guilt at some point in time. Um, you know, we all experience it no matter, you know, where you are in life. It was a mom. You feel like, you know, you're not being the best mom that you can be, but I think putting those priorities in place about when and where you're going to be really makes a difference. And so in doing that and pushing your business forward, how have you been able to adjust inside of your business to be able to still push forward, um, while still being a great mom to your son?

Kalilah Wright:         Um, I think it depends. It, you have to have a really good team. And so it took me awhile. You know, I had good people around, but um, you also have to have like good people as well as really dependable. You want people, you want your business to run even when you're not there. And so I'm, you know, I finally found that team and that staff who they are able to run the business even in my absence. So I think it's a strengthen in the foundation and just making sure you have a really good team.

Shahara Wright:         Yeah, that's, that's really important I think. And especially for some business, especially business such as yours, where you know, you're, you're moving a lot of pizza places, there's a lot of different moving pieces, but making sure that you have that people around, um, makes all the difference. And so in finding those good people, what was the most important thing to you in terms of finding the people that you needed to help you with your business?

Kalilah Wright:               Um, I think it just really depends. I know for me, at first I was looking at creatives because I'm a creative, so I love creative. Um, but right now I've transitioned a little bit where I've hired a little bit more of an older staff, um, people who maybe they are creatives, but you know, they're in different industries. Um, people who I'm just, you know, don't have more of a personal relationship with, um, people who are maybe really detail oriented. Um, so I think whatever sounds like a really strong weakness of mine, I was able to try to find people with the characteristics that would support, um, and like enhance and um, you know, and make sure that they were the ones that would be there in my absence.

Shahara Wright:            Yeah. That, that makes a lot of sense. And I think especially kind of balancing your weaknesses with your strengths, um, really does something for your business and helps you to be able to do more because you're not so much worried about what you can't do and you're worried about what you can do. So I really love that perspective that you give and you know, thinking about it and just terms of life in terms of being a single mom, one of the things I know that we all suffer from too is not taking enough me time and giving, you know, you give it either all to your kid or you're giving it all to your business. How do you find the time or do you find he be time to just say, okay, this is, you know, Kalilah, I need to recharge.

Kalilah Wright:            Yeah. Me time is important. Um, I've definitely started, um, you know, at night, uh, my son is only six. Um, but we've had, especially when he was five, there was a lot of sleeping in my bed or, you know, staying up really late, hanging out with me while I do work. Um, so now I try to instill a little bit more of, you know, structuring, you have to sleep in your bed, you have to go to bed at a certain time. So those things allow for me in the evenings to kind of really have a moment to myself and you know, on weekends or, um, you know, some days I let him, we have a two story home, so some days I'll let him like be on the first floor for a little bit by herself with a tablet or with something. And then I could then proceed and go upstairs and, you know, and just relaxed and online and kind of take some time to myself.

Kalilah Wright:             Um, and even, um, I tell everyone all the time, like doing any like staycations, um, whether that's, um, you know, renting a little Airbnb and going into a different place because sometimes in your own home you may not be able to like, unwind or officially like let go of certain things or you bring things home. So it's kinda stays there. So, you know, I love like a good Airbnb and just like taking a weekend to myself. So those are ways that I definitely like, um, exhibits self-care and you know, and have and make time for myself. Cause I, I, you know, I think I'm just one of those moms where I, I definitely put the mask on me before I am able to assist my son. So, um, last year I even took a trip to South Africa for like 10 days by myself. Um, and so, you know, I put the air mask on me first.

Shahara Wright:     That's good. I'm glad to hear that. I know that I'm guilty of not doing that. I'm, I'm trying to get better, but . . . 

Kalilah Wright:     I also run running has been really therapeutic as well. And so I run like in the mornings and that has been definitely a way that, um, has, uh, helped me, um, is running.

Shahara Wright:     Wow. That's great. So what made you start, did you, have you always been running or did you make a decision that this is what you needed?

Kalilah Wright:     I've been running for a little while now. Like we, when I run, I ran my first marathon last year and I'm probably gearing up to run a second in 2020. Um, so yeah, I just run running as therapeutic, as calming. It's, I'm health, um, all of that good stuff. So I really enjoy, um, you know, I think it's a challenge, so it's something that I've just been enjoying to do.

Shahara Wright:     So where do you see you and your business going, let's say in the next three to five years? I mean, what are some of your big goals that you're looking forward to achieving?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, right now we're focusing on the vending machines and we are, um, focused on expansions, uh, collaborations with big box brands as well as we are. Um, you know, we want to get into some retail spaces. So we have a lot of things that we are working on and, um, and it's been exciting. It's been quite the journey.

Shahara Wright:     Oh, that's great. That sounds great. So tell me a little bit about your vending machines. What, what, uh, what are those?

Kalilah Wright:     So we launched, um, a T shirt, vending machine, and we recently did a collaboration with brothers for the movie the kitchen starring Tiffany Haddish on Melissa McCarthy and Elizabeth Moss. And we designed, I'm saying for our t-shirts, um, that were packaged in our reusable bottles and they were housed in the T shirt message machine, uh, and they were then dispensed at the movie premieres. So we look forward to doing more of those collaborations.

Shahara Wright:     Oh wow. That sounds very interesting and fun. Um, and so yeah, I can definitely see that being a big part of where you are moving forward. And I know that you also do some training on teaching other people to launch a teacher brand. So what made you start that, um, in addition to what you're already doing?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, I think just as you know, I know that when I was starting out, I was a single mom. I wasn't sure like where to go and I wanted to start this, you know, tee-shirt journey. Um, and I spent a lot of money. So I want that. If there are other, you know, especially single moms or women who are stay at home and still just trying to figure out what's the dual income, I want to be able to teach other people, like how to get a business off the ground.

Shahara Wright:     So what would be is like your, maybe your top two things that you would say were do's and don'ts, you know, do this, don't do that. And what would be some advice, you know, that you would give people that are interested in entering in that industry?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, well I started the t-shirt company with less than $500. I think that I'm, you know, depending on what you are going to venture into, I would say to try to limit your startup costs. Um, most of us don't have the extra cash to just, you know, throw money around. So I would definitely limit the startup costs, um, as well as I would try to, you know, maybe gain a mentor in that industry. Um, and see, you know, who can teach you about the game or who you can sit next to be a fly on the wall just to learn as much information as you can about that industry before jumping into it.

Shahara Wright:      Any big don'ts to definitely not do?

Kalilah Wright:      um, no cause you have to learn. You have to make the mistakes.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. No, that's very true. So what would be some things that you think that, um, as your son gets older you will tell him about what you do in, I know your son spends a lot because he's younger and my kids are a little bit older, but, um, because he's younger, he maybe he doesn't understand or know, um, what you do. How do you explain to him, I guess that's a better question. How do you explain to him?

Kalilah Wright:     No, I think I'm surprisingly enough just hanging around. He understands a lot. Um, you know, he told me the other day that has friends, their moms didn't sign their contract to go on a school trip. Um, so I think that my son is now interpreting and using like business lingo as you know. So I think that he understands that I own my own company. He understands that I'm the CEO and that I founded this, you know, he helps me at the post office. Um, so I think on some days I definitely have mommy guilt about having him, like in the shop on a Saturday where I feel like, you know, kids may be in a 90 degree weather are running outside and playing with a ball, but instead he has to, you know, play with the tablet and listen to me have business meetings. But I think that there is also benefits in that environment as well. So, um, I think that my son is grasping really well what I do as six years old.

Shahara Wright:    Okay. That is great. Um, yeah, I think too, um, you know, maybe involving them when they're young into the business makes a big difference. And, you know, eventually they'll come around and see how things are. Um, my eldest son is 22 and while he has no interest in law, um, he definitely has seen, you know, he buckled down, do the things that I need to do and it's made a big difference in how he's approached his future career. So I think that that makes a difference. And I started, like I said, I started my business when he was two, which I'm telling how old I am, but he’s now 22 so, you know, and graduated from college and he's still, you know, I appreciate, you know, the fact that I was able to kind of balance all of those different things there. Are there anything that you think that from a single mom perspective that are things that you have learned that you feel like you could share with other single moms about how to, you know, how to balance and how to make sure that you know you are being the best you can be?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, I think the biggest thing is making sure that you're okay by checking in with you. I mean, um, like everyone else, I have my frustrating, you know, moments. I have my moments where I'm, you know, maybe every other day where I'm really annoyed about doing it by myself and you know, and not having the support or help. Um, I will also say that like, lean on your village, like whatever that might look like. Like my family, you know, they're about an hour away and you know, they support like maybe weekends or every other, but sometimes during the week I need support. So, you know, um, I have a local college student who is my babysitter and my aftercare help. Um, so I would really lean on whatever village that you create. And that can be, sometimes I hop on social media and ask everyone is anyone around cause someone, you know, to watch my son for a couple of hours while I go to a meeting. So, you know, it doesn't always have to. I think your village, does that always have to look traditional. It can be something where it is, you know, people that you may not speak to as often or neighbor that you trust. Um, so I think it's just really leaning on those who truly support you and care for your child.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah. So do you have any, like, must do's that you feel like you have to do with your son? So like I fought with my youngest, um, I've picked him up and I dropped him off from school and I always feel like that's like a must do for me because that's like my time that I really try to get to spend and talk to him. Although there's not, cause he's usually playing video games in the car, but you know, that's kind of like our time. Do you have anything like that that you do with your son that like feel like this is something I have to do?

Kalilah Wright:      I mean, not really. Like I do enjoy like I'm giving rides to school, but I mean honestly like if it's something that I just enjoy being and spending like little increments and moments with him. So, you know, if that is either or a pickup or a drop off for, you know, whether it's in between or meeting him somewhere and then, you know, us having like a little moment together. Um, I don't have like the, you know, I think we enjoy, we have like this car and we have like a car dance time and we're always playing music and things like that. But, um, I think just as long as we make that type of time together, um, I'm happy.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah. That's good. That's good. So do you have any other, um, thoughts or plans in terms of launching any other businesses or any other things that you're trying to do? I know sometimes as entrepreneurs in general always have like multiple ideas and thoughts. Um, and I don't want you to spill all your secrets, but I mean, do you have thoughts of adding more businesses or doing additional things?

Kalilah Wright:     Nope. Right now I'm just strictly focused on or bottle. Okay. That's good. I probably, I'm planning to launch a book in 2020.

Shahara Wright:     Oh wow. That's great. You know what you're going to be writing about.

Kalilah Wright:     It'll be about my messages and my journey.

Shahara Wright:      Okay, great. Awesome. So I'm, thank you so much. What could we give for being a part of this? Um, this is our, you know, very first episode. Um, we are just really excited about this. Um, this message. I think that's really important. I think, especially since, for us, single mothers who have full time businesses, there's just not enough, um, information or help or resources around to see other people who are making it work the best that we can. Um, and so I really appreciate you being here to share your story and show other mothers that this can happen for them. So thank you so much. Of course. No problem. Thanks for having me. So tell us a little bit about how to get in touch with you. How to, you know, get message in a bottle. Um, you know, I see you again on social media all the time, so I know you have those, but if there's other ways that we can purchase your product and support you, please let us know.

Kalilah Wright:      The best way to follow us is on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. Um, and it's Mess in a Bottle and you could check out our website at www.messinabottle.com

Shahara Wright:      Awesome. So you guys make sure that you, um, support message in a bottle. We definitely want to support our fellow single moms, help her to build her business and our brand and we'll do it together. If you are interested in learning more about Single Mom CEOs, you can, um, like our face Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSuccess/ and you can also make sure you like our YouTube channel, subscribe to our YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/shaharawright   That's the CEO effect. And you'll definitely see Single Mom CEO and a lot of other business videos there to help you build your business. So once again, I want to say thank you to Kalilah and I look forward to seeing you guys next time. Have a great day. Bye bye. Thank you.