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How I found my path to healing after the death of my husband.

12/23/2019

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Tracy Boone is a Breakthrough Specialist – International Speaker – Author – Sales Team  Expert – Child and Family Advocate.

For over two decades, she has managed, operated and owned three 40,000 square foot multi-million-dollar fitness facilities in Denver, Colorado.  She was married to Reid Boone, A Champion athlete that co-owned and operated the business with her family until tragedy struck in 2012 when her husband died of Cruetzfield-Jacobs disease. Her son, Elijah, was only six years old at the time.

She and her young son have co-founded a non-profit, Elijah’s Path to Healing Foundation, whose mission is providing paths to healing through community, relationships and partnerships for the widows and fatherless using a faith-based model. Her personal mission is to unite lives to make a difference. They are raising funds for a 5th wheel and F450 truck so they can travel across the country to help families who have lost a parent in schools and equine facilities.

Her passion is to empower people to overcome adversity and Create Heroes in their own life story. Tracy holds the following designations: Certified Fitness Trainer, Specialist in Fitness Nutrition and TRX Team Training Camp Certified Coach. She has certifications in Faith Based Equine Assisted Philosophy and Faith Alliance Against Slavery and Trafficking. She is an Ordained Pastor and holds a Doctorate in Christian Counseling and Psychology from Carolina University of Theology.

Tracy’s two books are titled “I Can Finish Well” and “Elijah’s Hope,
Who Am I?”

If you would ask her, she would say her most important titles are Mother and
Child of God and being an advocate for families who have lost a parent.

Who here today is here to learn how to overcome obstacles in their own work and life?

http://www.icanfinishwell.com 



SINGLE MOM CEO
TRACY BOONE
EPISODE 7 TRANSCRIPT

hahara Wright:    Hi everyone, and welcome Single Mom CEO. I'm so happy to be here. I'm with you guys. Once again, I am Shahara Wright, and today we have with us Tracy Boone, um, another single mom and I just, this is a rarity, in that I just met Tracey and we had a really good conversation and I said, Hey, I got to have you on this show. So I'm so glad that she agreed and took the time to be here. So thank you so much Tracey.

Tracy Boone:      Oh, Oh, really enjoy the meeting. You and I felt like I knew you forever already.

Shahara Wright:     Yes. So we're having a little bit of technical difficulties. You guys is kind of freezing up a little bit, but, um, we're gonna get through this one way or another, so we're going to make that happen. Um, so anyway, Tracey, um, why don't you introduce yourself, tell everyone about you and, and what you do.

Tracy Boone:     Um, my name is Tracy Boone. I actually am the CEO and founder and executive director of Elijah's Path to Healing foundation and a lot of hats just in that. Um, and I'm a single mom. I'm a widow of almost seven years,  as of December 23rd. And I had at the time, he was six years old when we lost my late husband Reed Boone. And so we've had about a seven year journey.  I had a three large gym fitness facilities here in Denver, Colorado. So we're from Denver, Colorado, and we love horses and we are bringing healing and hope to families across the country and hopefully around the world eventually. Um, and just starting a television program to coming up here, um, starting in Thanksgiving day. So, um, things are progressing very quickly. Yeah. So we have a weekly television program now starting, um, on the now network and yeah, in about four weeks less. I'm a mom of a very big 13 year old. Yeah. I love it. He has no sense of, um, uh, let's just say he's a very huge dreamer and I love that. So, um, anyway, that's me.

Shahara Wright:     No, that's a lot. Congratulations on the television show. I'm so happy for you. And so I know one of the first questions I asked you, um, when we first spoke, and I know everybody wants to know is how did you kind of move from doing the gyms to a question work? Um, you know, it with, uh, families who widowed families.

Tracy Boone:     Well, you know, when you have some huge trauma or grief, something like this happens, happen to you. One of the things that you do find out very quickly that if you use what you've been through to help others, it actually really helps you. Um, it helps others. But this just so that the ones that use this to help others really do well, but the ones that haven't made it. Um, and in what we have been through, so it doesn't even seem like an option to us. It's just like a call that we have on our life and that we've answered, you know. But, um, we went from the gym industry, you know, gyms are very busy and they're very hard. It's very hard, intense business. And we had three 40,000 square foot facilities here with over 15,000 members and a hundred employees. And it was just a big animal.

Tracy Boone:     And you know, I'm a faith girl and I just really believe with all my heart that God led me out of that and into what we're doing now. Um, he brought a Jewish man to by my facility, so I was like, well, that's pretty awesome. And he bought my facilities. Um, you know, it just, it was getting harder and harder to do by myself and my son. You know, one of the challenges that I was really under was my business was so busy being just me that my son suffering and I had to make a change and he had to be homeschooled for a bunch of different reasons. And, um, I had to make a change. I had to make a hard decision and that's what we did. So I made it. I chose him.

Shahara Wright:     Yes, yes. That's what we do, right? As single moms, we choose our kids. And, you know, one of the themes I think that all of us have is that, you know, we've decided to build our businesses around our kids. And I think that's the most awesome thing. I think, um, that we can do, we can choose to do that.

Tracy Boone:    Yeah. And the one thing I did learn coming from that experience, I know what I don't want, right. Coming out of that into this, and now I can shape this foundation since we're the founders, right. I can make it look like a doable situation and I know what I don't want, which is huge. You know, to know what you don't want is really important.

Shahara Wright:    So I think it's a big deal. I think it really is. And I think, um, being able to say, you know what, I really don't want that. And so I'm not going to do that. I think there was a hard lesson for me to learn, um, literally like I would know I don't want that. But I would think, well, I've got gotta do it anyway, even though I don't want to; no, you don't.

Tracy Boone:    Oh, right. Oh, I have a choice. That's great. Yeah. So, yeah, but I mean it, you know, it's, it's the coolest thing is be able to do something with this and to be an example for your kid, you know, to say, look, we can create something from nothing. Right. Right. And really make a difference. It's been such an amazing journey. And he and I were just filming the other day and he's just the personality anyway. And he just, you know, I said, son, why do you want to do this? And he said, you know what? I want to do this because it's kind of like a sneeze. You just got to get it out. He goes, there's just something in me, the test.

Tracy Boone:     Okay. I mean, we could, yes. For three years. So it's been a lot of developments and things and nouns are to move, which is really fun. But to be able to be an example and to show him that you can make decisions and choices in your life and shape your life the way you'd like to see it. Right. Um, so that's, that's one of the things I wanted to share is it's we are a true example to our kids. And the one thing I have made I'm very diligent in my life is to make sure he knows that he counts. He's number one number and in my life, and I have to be very focused on that. If I'm not focused on that, it gets away from me and then all of a sudden I'm seeing some behaviors that I'm not loving. Right. So it's very, you know, when you're, you, you, you, I'm sure you get that.

Shahara Wright:     Absolutely. Absolutely. I think it's important, you know, that we figure out kind of that balance. Um, because I know, um, for me, sometimes I'm like, OK, I, there are things that I need to do that, like I just need to do and I just can't focus on you right now. Um, and being able to set that expectation like, Hey, you know, mommy has to focus here, but as soon as I'm done with that, we'll, you know, get back to, you know, whatever else. Yeah.

Tracy Boone:     Right. Yeah, sure. You acknowledge them and say, Hey, you're on the radar, you know, let me get these things done.  But it has to be sacred. I mean, you know, when you have your, a significant other there, you kind of can slow, but when it's just you, you have to really be diligent with your time. And that's, I think that's one of my books. I think that is my most valuable asset is my time. Yeah. And when somebody infringes on it, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm not very nice.

Shahara Wright:     I'm not very nice there. Yes, I know. I know. And that's the best way to get on my bad side is wasting my time. Um, yeah. That's just not going to happen for you yet.

Tracy Boone:    Yeah, you too? And I've got a few people say, Hey, what is this thing about your time? I said, try and be a single mom and you'll find out real quick.

Shahara Wright:     I mean, I don't think a lot of, I think that's something that doesn't get appreciated as much because when you're by yourself, um, you know, your schedule is everything. And so, you know, you are having to be not just where somebody has in your business, but wearing so many hats at home, um, in that you, you know, you've got so many hats that you have to like really pay attention to how you're scheduling your time and where it goes. Um, because if you don't, um, you know, balls get dropped and that's the last thing we want to see happen. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So you said something, Tracey, that I think is amazing because I always say this is something that I can never do because I don't have any patients at all whatsoever. Um, but you homeschool your son. Um, so I want to know how in the world do you make that happen? Um, cause I can't even imagine just my brain is like not even allowing me to go there.

Tracy Boone:     Well, you know, and honestly the, the, the, the kids can go to school and do great in school. It's, I think it's an amazing thing. First of all, I want to say that I think it's an awesome thing if they can do that. Um, my son, unfortunately when we were in the school system after my husband died, he was just struggling really hard. And you know, we found out later that he had an interruption in his nervous system, the development, his nervous system from wow. So that was why he was struggling so hard in school. I mean, I saw my son's hall art. Yeah, well his behaviors were, and they weren't matching up and I just, as a mom, you just know that something isn't right. But you know, he needed me and I was running the facilities working, I can't even tell you how many hours a day. And my son looked at me and they looked at me at the school and I knew that he was in the wrong place and I had to make a choice again. I chose him and you know, God always makes a way when you choose, when you do the right thing and you listen. And I just knew in my heart it was the right thing.

Tracy Boone:     Well the lean on and homeschooling. So I kind of took their path and said, Hey, show me how you do this quickly. Because I don't have a lot of what time. And so they coached me and had me homeschooling in no time. And I got be, I get to witness some of the coolest things and my kid learn and grow as an art. And you have to learn how to go. I mean, I go to, I go to conventions like well, I think to prepare myself on how to do this, but again, it's, it's just, it's the hand that I've been dealt when my son needed me. And I know that anybody listening that if your son or daughter needed you and this was the Avenue, you'd figure it out. You know? And if they don't need it, great. But if they do, you'll do it. You know? That's just what moms do. We do what our kids need and it all seems to work out right. So that's how you do it. I never saw myself homeschooling, however, it's a miracle. Um, but it is, like I said, one of the most, I think I will always treasure the time there was, you know, there's moments where I won't, but yeah. Yeah.

Shahara Wright:    No, I love it. I really do. So let's talk about, you know, the, the nonprofit organization and, you know, I, I definitely understand, um, you know, just from, you know, being on boards, being a lawyer that's set up nonprofits, you know, kind of being around how difficult that is. And I think in some ways it's more difficult than starting your own business. Um, so how are you kind of finding the time and the ability to get the message out about what you do, uh, so that you can assist other families?
Tracey Boone:                                                You know? Um, I have an amazing, at owning gyms, you really learn how to set up your community. You know, you go out and you find people and you let them know. So I've kind of, I spent the last quarter of a century doing that other in a different arena. So it's kind of a natural thing for me. Oh. So it's a lot of collecting emails. And I know a lot of people, I'm already, because of what I do and who I know. And, um, but you know, I, like I said, I'm a faith girl and when you're called to do something, you show up and God shows up and things happen. Um, you know, I had no idea within that other than a couple of weeks ago I'd be doing a television show. So who was obviously taking this to a whole new level and they have 30 million followers. So that kind of solves a lot of problems for me.

Tracy Boone:     But you know, in the first few years you're, you're in the development stage and you're real, this is a, this is a worldwide global. Yeah, thanks. So it takes time to really develop and say, what is the need and how are we going to solve it? And that takes a lot of time to do enough and now right behind me and the last year, it's been about finding the right people to be in the right place. And now we're just, you know, again, we're at kind of at that leap off point right now. And so we're just getting the word out through that, through Facebook, through, um, just communications like that. Just word of mouth. And I know so many of these people, but we do equine assisted philosophy. And what that is, you know, when I last read the hospice, um, therapist handed me a stack of brochures and just some therapy for your son and yourself.

Tracy Boone:      Right? And so I went through a brochure. I couldn't imagine myself the office after that, but I ran across a brochure with men on a horse. But you know what, that got them out. And it ended up being just this amazing journey. I'm now certified in it and I now have the facilities across the United States to, to have access to which opens up a whole other door. Cause all those people know people and you know, it's amazing how many people know breathing people and they need help. So, you know, it's just kind of spreads like wildfire. When you solve a problem, it seems to spread. That's true. That's true. And that's so great. So in terms of, you know, you know, finding time for you in the midst of homeschooling and getting your, you know, nonprofit off the ground and all the other wonderful things that you do.

Tracy Boone:      How do you find time for you? Well, you know, that is again, the air arena that I was in for so long. I was a trainer, a personal trainer, and I had to listen to my own voice. And it was a process because this is the stuff I know. Um, you know, I had to really look at my schedule and what I need. I'm up at 5:00 AM I do my workout, I watch, um, inspirational things and I spend my time, um, with God in the morning. And then at 6:30 a.m., I have a conference, zoom call. All the people very, very diligent with that. But if I don't get my workout in, I'm just off. So I've learned what works for me, what does, and I've had to be really diligent with it and just say, what do I need and then I need put it in place and then I don't need to move. And it's just a lot of the things that I've already, but I used to, did I actually teach people, so yeah.

Tracy Boone:     I actually have a prayer call that I do all the widows and the fatherless kids out there. So from 6:30 a.m. to 7 a.m. we have a prayer call that everybody calls in to the zoom and we pray over them, we minister to them and that's what I do. So I have to be ready and on my game at six 30 to seven. Right. And then, you off my day goes. But I just make sure I how that time in the morning and it's very important. And then, you know, once a week I really try to just have a time where I can just go off and be by myself and just kind of refreshing cause that's me. I'm a person that if I go off and just have just quiet time for myself, then that's, that's really helpful for myself. So that's what I try to do. Um, and sometimes I do really well at it, another time, the times, I don't know, one the weeks I don't, it's not a great thing, so I've got to be diligent with it.

Shahara Wright:     That's good. That's good.

Tracy Boone:      And you know, honestly horses are big for me. Yeah. So if I go pet on a horse, they're good.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah. You, you get to enjoy that and it's good that you can kind of combine what you do and give yourself self-care, um, in that. So, um, you know, what do you find like is your biggest struggle.

Tracy Boone:     You know, as you're trying to manage all these things, what do you find like is the most difficult thing that you have? The advantage? No, I think, um, what I feel very spread thin. I think my anxiety goes up and I think that's something that I'm really working on right now because you know, when you just feel like, Oh my goodness, I've got to get to that though, that, that and you start getting overwhelmed instead of just being okay in the moment I'm good. Um, I feel like my anxiety level raises and then that's not great for anybody. Right. And then, you know, thinking of the horse, you know, I'm going to do a lot of these analogies with the show and all that, but with a horse, they are the ultimate, um, prey animal. So they respond to your emotions. Well, think about your child.

Tracy Boone:    They are, they are the ultimate prey human right. They will respond to you correctly and accurately if you watch their emotions, if you watch their body language, if you watch and pay attention to what you're doing. And so that's something that I'm just really being, I'm really heightened in right now. I'm just watching and I'm just watching how, to me, if I was in an arena, what would I be really evaluating about myself? Because, you know, just to be in, Oh my God. And to um, think for self-care. If you're in the moment and you just breathe and you take things one thing at a time and just keep that piece down at peace within you and just relax and just say this, the person with the most peace wins and Rudy Giuliani said that, you know, during nine 11, that's how we did it. The person that had the most peace won in every, all the arenas. And I just think that's really important because nobody wins when you're heightened like that. And so that's one of the biggest challenges I'm facing right now with everything going on is I've just got to slow things down one thing at a time. Keep my anxiety, be, be real, present about my, and mindful of my anxiety and, and cause that's what I do. I just kind of get a little heightened when there's too much going on. Right. That's me.

Shahara Wright:     I do the same thing. I do the same thing. Yes. And this sneaks up on you because you think you got it all and it's like, wait, what happened? Yes. I totally get it. I totally get it. So thank you so much Tracey for, you know, giving us your insight and your thoughts. I know I'm you guys, we have a little bit of technical difficulty, but hopefully you got the gist of everything that Tracey was saying. Um, we, um, definitely enjoy having you here. So tell everyone how they can connect with you. Um, get in touch with the organization. How can we support you? W what, what can we do?

Tracy Boone:    Always donating is a great thing, especially now because we're starting a telecom the gym program, so it costs money. But, um, you know, my website is, I, you know, if you can remember this, I wrote a book called I can finish well. Um, and the website is http://www.icanfinishwell.com  and then on there you can see a tab called foundation. Um, and I'm can give a free gift. Kind of a really neat thing from, um, my husband. If you want to text at 26786 the word heroic. My husband wrote a piece called, um, the power from within. He was a champion athlete and it was a one, it's just an amazing piece. So if that's something that they want to do, um, it's a free, a free gift from us. Um, I give it to everybody I talk to cause it's just an amazing piece and everybody gets something from.

Shahara Wright:     Nice. Thank you so much and we'll definitely have um, links and the information for you guys as well. So, um, as you're watching this, you'll, you'll have it all available to you on our blog, um, on YouTube and Facebook and everything like that. So thank you so much Tracey, for being here and sharing your story. Um, I look forward to watching your television show and I also look forward to for us, you know, to connect more. Um, so thank you so much for sharing your, your time with us.

Tracy Boone:    I definitely have, yeah, our show too. So actually this is going to be, I look forward to getting to know you even more.

Shahara Wright:    Awesome. Okay. You guys. Well, that's it for Single Mom CEO this week. Thank you so much you guys for being here. Um, I look forward to seeing you next time we talk. Make sure you connect with us on Facebook on, and we'll get your, we have everything for us, but you can go to single moms, CEO one, I think it's single moms, CEO success on Facebook. Um, and YouTube is, um, Shahar, right? So YouTube.  Um, and again, you know, I'm going to make sure that you have all the links so you don't have to remember everything, but make sure you go there and do it. All right? And we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

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How I learned to say YES to myself and accept help from others!

12/16/2019

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A graduate of York University and Osgood Hall Law School in Toronto, Canada, global entrepreneur and #1 bestselling author Lauren A. Cohen is an attorney licensed in both the U.S. and Canada. Lauren is an expert concierge immigration and business advisor boasting a stellar track record of success. Lauren has first-hand knowledge of the visa process, having herself immigrated from Canada in 2001, and later becoming an American citizen. In 2008, Lauren started e-Council Inc., an internationally-acclaimed company focused on providing strategic full-service solutions for businesses seeking capital and foreigners seeking access to the U.S. market with a special focus on professional business plans and the EB-5 Immigrant Investor Program as well as all other investment business immigration matters.

Continuing in the tradition of sound strategic solutions, ScaleUP Enterprises, LLC was established in 2018 and ScaleUPCheckUP is Lauren’s newest initiative - an online growth assessment checkup tool for growing businesses in ScaleUP mode seeking to ensure they are built on a strong foundation by way of the ScaleUP 3-Step Success System involving Assessment, Diagnosis and Delivery. The mission is to anticipate and overcome challenges while providing access to a collaborative network of high-touch vetted professional services providers to address gaps so businesses are able to ScaleUP painlessly and successfully. Designed in response to the challenges faced by so many entrepreneurs that simply do not understand the critical importance of proper professional guidance, or are afraid that the costs of protection are too high, ScaleUPCheckUP is poised to revolutionize the professional services industry and the way in which professional services are delivered.

Lauren also recently established Find My Silver Lining, a non-profit whose goal is to inspire others to persevere through challenging times and focus on the bright side as they strive to lead fulfilling lives. Lauren has received numerous awards and recognitions including a 2018 award through the Florida Association of Women Lawyers as a “Leader in the Law”. Lauren was recently invited to join the expert faculty of CEO Space International, a top-tier global training and networking organization. A regular writer and contributor to magazines, books and other media globally for several years, Finding Your Silver Lining in the Business Immigration Process is Lauren’s first book, which became a #1 bestseller during its first month! The proceeds of Lauren's book are being used to fund “Find My Silver Lining”. Lauren’s second book, which is focused on the franchise industry, is entitled “A Burning Desire to Succeed: Striking the Perfect Franchise Match” and is currently available as an e-book. 


https://www.scaleupcheckup.com/
https://ecouncilinc.com/

SINGLE MOM CEO
LAUREN COHEN
EPISOD 6 TRANSCRIBED

Shahara Wright:      Hi everyone and welcome to Single Mom CEO. I am Shahara Wright. And today we have with us Lauren Cohen and I'm really excited to have Lauren and I know I say that every week. I'm really excited about each and every one because they bring such a different perspective. Um, Lauren is someone I met I think maybe a year or two ago, I think. I can't even remember, but I was through another podcast that I had a video cast that I had, um, CEO collaboration circle and we spoke and we got along so well that we stayed in touch and we connect. And so I'm really excited to have her here with us today. And so because of that connection, I was able to ask her to come on. And once again, I'm interviewing another favor and be on another show. Um, and she graciously accepted. So, Hey Lauren, thank you so much for being here.

Lauren Cohen:     Okay, thank you. It's absolutely my pleasure.

Shahara Wright:     So Lauren, why don't you give us, um, a brief introduction to who you are and what you do and what you're all about.

Lauren Cohen:     Thank you. Shahara. So as Shahara said, I'm Lauren Cohen. Yeah. We met about, I don't know, year and a half, two years ago, just like she said. Um, um, I was in her original show and it was great and I just really enjoyed connecting with you at the time and throughout time since then, supporting each other. A little bit of tears here and there. Right. Single Mom CEOs and lawyers, both of us. So I am originally from Toronto, Canada. I came to the U S originally in the 90s. I became a citizen in 2012 and I am an immigration and corporate concierge lawyer. But that's not really who I am. I am more of an entrepreneur, but I have developed my credibility and practice and focus and business out of being a lawyer, dealing with so many businesses, both domestically and internationally, that are creating, um, or planning to hoping to create scalable businesses and hitting roadblocks in the process because they didn't really pay any attention or enough attention to their foundation. And as lawyers, that's kind of the most critical thing for us. So I would see all these businesses spending tens of thousands of dollars on coaching and marketing and, and, um, sales and no money at all on setting up their corporation properly. For example, even knowing what type events do they had, where should they focus their money? Do they need insurance? What type of licensing do they need? What kind of certification? I bet you that 50% of home based businesses are operating without occupational licenses. Would you agree to that?

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. That probably is true.

Lauren Cohen:      Yeah. And, and not necessarily because they're trying to not do the right thing, but just because they don't know that they need a licensed operator business even from home. And so as a result, I created a system to help companies look under the hood in seven essential areas and figure out a way to scale their businesses. And being a lawyer kind of drives it, but it's not only legal, it's legal and six other areas as well. So it's kind of all about, you know, my, I have, I did recently do my soul languages, which is one of those, um, it's like an attitude assessment like this and so on. And one of my soul languages, not surprisingly, is the navigator, which means I navigate through difficult waters. And another one is all based on security and safety and making sure that everybody's secure.

Lauren Cohen:     And I don't sleep at night if my clients are not secure. So I have one client right now that I know is in big trouble and I can't do anything to change it. They don't listen to me and they're going to end up missing a very important deadline. And there's nothing I can do. And I, you know, I get physically sick because I really care about them and their welfare. And this is why I developed my system, but at the end of the day, we can only counsel our clients. We can't, they're not our children. They have to take, make their own decisions. And that's the hard part is stepping back and allowing them to have the control because we don't.

Shahara Wright:      That's true. That's true. And that is a hard part, I think a of this profession is, you know, when you're not listened to, when you can see, um, you know, the danger signs all over. But I think I've learned, um, you know, even through, I think managing my kids that, you know, there's only so much.  You know, sometimes you just have to learn the hard lessons. Um, and you, and once you learn them, you can lick your wounds and move on, but you know, you have to learn them for sure. So I tried to take that position with my clients is like, look, all I can do is tell you you're going to do what you want to do. Um, and Hey, whatever happens, you know, so, you know, how many kids do you have? More than one, right?

Lauren Cohen:     Well, I only have one.

Shahara Wright:      Okay. Okay. And so in terms of, you know, talking about, you know, moving and, um, moving here to the U.S. and becoming a citizen and having your own practice and all that kind of stuff, how do you find navigating all of that, um, with your child?

Lauren Cohen:     Challenging? Um, certainly challenging because at the end of the day he wants my attention. He's the only one. In some ways it would definitely be easier to have more than one because at least then it wouldn't always be me. You know, the dog is not really engaging in, in card games with him or monopoly. So, um, it's challenging my attention being diverted makes him demand attention in different ways, not always positive. Um, we've had a challenging few months, which I think we're finally getting on the other side of, but, um, it's, it's not easy to navigate all of the, all of the issues of life and balance them with running a business and being a mom. So the reality is it's, it's particularly challenging doing it on your own without the support of even an ex-husband, which I don't have. Um, financial support, um, emotional support, physical support, you know, being the 24/7 parent and being the 24/7 business owner, it's like you're, you're a single parents at times too, right?

Lauren Cohen:     It's almost like an oxymoron in a way. And I, I often say that it's like, you know, I've got, I've got my, my, my business, I actually have two businesses to run and then I am running my home. And it's hard to do it all on your own. And, um, I think it's important to create very strong, um, support networks and being able to reach out when you need help. So I had a bad fall at the beginning of the summer. I think you knew from Facebook and um, it's, it's hard to ask for help and then it's also hard to accept help, but if you don't accept help, like I couldn't drive, I can do anything. So I was like, okay. I just kind of gave in and said, you know what you guys are offering, I'll take it, whatever you want to bring food, I'll take it.

Lauren Cohen:     I mean, my fridge and freezer was so full, I wish they were a little bit full right now, but they were so full, they were overflowing with different food and whatever and it was great. But at least I was able to access it. And I think that we as single moms are most challenged about self-care and being able to accept that help because we don't realize you have to put the mask on yourself first. We just flew back from Toronto last week and it said, no matter who you are, put the mask on yourself first and then worry about your child. And you know, it's true. You'll have to do that because otherwise you've got nothing left to give them.

Shahara Wright:     No, that's really true. And I think, um, that's been the ongoing thing as I've interviewed and spoken to other women, um, is self-care is so important and so difficult. And I, you know, I struggle with that as well. Trying to make sure that I can, you know, get that in for myself. Um, but what kinds of things do you do to make sure that you have time for you?

Lauren Cohen:      Not enough.

Shahara Wright:      Never is.

Lauren Cohen:      Um, but it definitely, like most nights I put on some very short meditation when I'm going to sleep. So I can have really good messages in my head. I get massages. Um, I'm trying, this is, you know, it's a new Jewish year for us as of last week. And my goal this year is to really focus on self-care. And that doesn't only mean getting your nails done or getting massages, it also means looking at yourself and getting proper sleep and, you know, eating properly and taking your vitamins and not just worrying about the other people around you. Because sometimes I think that we tend to worry about that. But at the end of the day, if you, if you worry only about the people around you and not yourself, you're going to have no self to provide that. So you really, um, I think we all need to do like meditation, spiritual stuff.

Lauren Cohen:     Um, taking time out for you, um, being able to say no, which is a very big deal for me. I have trouble saying no. Um, and doing things that you want to do because it's hard for us. I you, I'm sure you share this, but I don't remember the last time that I really laughed and had a great fun time and we need to have fun because that's how we get balanced. That's how, you know, working out is critical. I love working out this morning. I didn't get a chance to work out. I had to go to services for something. So instead I walked my dog. Not quite the same, but at least I got from thing is, so you have to find what works for you. Not everybody's going to like to work out. Not, I don't like it. I just need to do it.

Lauren Cohen:      Not everybody's going to want to meditate. They might think that's weird. I do energy healing. Um, you know, I do a lot of different things. I'm going on a business cruise next week and one of the reasons I'm going on that business cruise that my energy healer is going to be on the cruise and she's promised me for, um, on the water treatments, on her specials, whatever treatment thing. And I'm like, okay, I'm there. So, um, funny. And, and I mean, I'm, it's just like, it's so important to have that balance and make sure that we look after our core being because without our being poor, we're not going to be able to produce, we're just going to be exhausted and so on.

Shahara Wright:      No, I, I really, really want that because I think one of my things this year has been really about mental health, um, and really making sure that I am, you know, mentally there, you know, that I'm not feeling this, you know, uneasy, anxious, all the time, stressed all the time, you know, worrying about, you know, whatever that's coming next or whatever. To really have some real clear mindset. Um, I'd probably use a better, even better word, you know, about what I'm doing. So yeah, the meditation, although I'm, I'm new to it and still trying to make sure that I do it on a consistent basis, which I don't do, but, um, I'm definitely trying to do better with that. I'm really talking about being in alignment, um, you know, and really making sure that I don't ingest a bunch of nonsense. So for me, one of the things that I've kind of done is saying, okay, you know, I don't want to be dealing with a whole bunch of negativity. So, you know, I've started feeling like, you know, this is just not the place then I'm out. Um, and I cut it off very, very quickly because it messes up your whole, your whole mindset, your whole balance and your energy and you're off. And I think sometimes you end up bringing that home to your kid, even if you don't intend to.

Lauren Cohen:     Um, you do. Oh, I think this is really, yeah, and as you were saying that, I was thinking to myself, like being kind to ourselves, we are not kind to ourselves necessarily. I'm not, I speak for myself, but, and, and not listening to all the voices. I think that's right in line with what you're saying. You know, Oh, you should be this or you should be that, or, Oh, why aren't you here? Or why aren't you there? Why aren't you driving this car, that car living in this house or that house? And, and you know, that's just, I mean, I live in Boca Raton, Florida. Okay. So I don't need to stress that. Um, the other thing is, you know, we can live on Facebook and, and feel like failures every day of the week and look at everybody and how wonderful their lives are and beautiful. And, you know, the next day they're getting a divorce or God forbid, something terrible has happened.

Lauren Cohen:     And the reality is that there's, it's not reality and everybody has issues. And I think that one of my big challenges over time has been comparing myself to others and not feeling like I measured up because I was, you know, let's say a single mom or I was, you know, not at the, not as senior partner at a big law firm or not senior counsel at a big company or whatever the case may be. But the reality is that everybody has their stuff. And, um, you know, we've, we, we've had our own accomplishments in our lives. Um, I've written two books, you know, and it kind of, I don't even really like, I don't promote myself as that, but the truth is, at the end of the day, these are accomplishments that we have had and we need to celebrate our accomplishments more instead of focusing on what we have in accomplished. Like, Oh, why am I single? Oh, why? Why is my kid challenging? Oh, why is this? Oh, why is that? Oh, why am I 10 pounds, 20 pounds, whatever, overweight, Oh, blah, blah, blah. Instead of being like, you know what, I'm here. I'm healthy. I'm a good mom. I'm this. I'm like, that. I'm owning the business. I'm, you know, so I think that that's super important for us is to be kind to ourselves by focusing on the positive and patting ourselves on the back because it's not easy to do this alone. And, um, yeah!

Shahara Wright:     That's so true. And I think, um, yeah, I think we probably as moms in general, we're, we're probably self-deprecating anyway. Um, but I think it does become a little bit more because you look at other people, um, and you know, maybe your same age or younger than you, and they seem like they're doing so much more. And I think about that sometimes and I think I went through that. I'm, I'm 46 now you guys that, but when I was 40, I kind of went through this period where I thought I have not accomplished as much as I thought I should have by this age. Um, and I really, it really took a toll on me, I think, because I felt like I should have been so much better, um, than what I had produced. Um, that it was very frustrating for me for a really long time.

Shahara Wright:     And what I remembered about that and talking to somebody else is that when my eldest son, um, was two, when I graduated from law school and he was a year and so I started my own like too. And when he was two, I took a, um, a CLE, a continuing legal education class for those of you that don't know. And you know, it really brought in some older attorneys and they were just talking about their experience and it was geared towards, you know, new attorneys and things like that. And, one of the guys was talking about how he really didn't spend a lot of time with his kids and one of his biggest regrets was that, you know, he didn't spend enough time with his child and that his old, now that his child was older room person, this child had resentment.

Shahara Wright:      And I couldn't even tell you what else was talked about that CLE. I mean, I'm sure that there was a whole lot, it was a whole day. So I know that other stuff,  this wasn't the only thing. But that's the thing that I still remember 20 years later and I lived my life by that, which is that I never wanted my kids and be like, where were you? Like why weren't you here? Why didn't you do this? And so the choices that I made, where does a direct result from that? And that meant admit for me that I wasn't going to make as much money. You know, that there were going to be things that I would, was going to say no to, that I couldn't work the same, you know, 60, 70 hour work weeks and you know, make all these millions of dollars that, you know, if I would've done that, I could have done it, but then it would've been a tradeoff and that was not a tradeoff I was willing to make.

Shahara Wright:      So I say all that to say is that when I look back and say, okay, yeah, I didn't really accomplish all of the things that I felt like I could have or should have or whatever else that other people had, I can honestly say that I was there. Like I was there for my kid at the PTO stuff. I was a member of the PTO. Um, you know, I went to all the soccer games and you know, the coding and all that kind of stuff. I picked up my kids, they knew I was there and that's not ever a conversation. You could have that you missed this or you weren't there. And I'm proud of that. And so I think as moms that we have to decide what the thing is most important and whatever results come from that, that we have to be okay with it.

Lauren Cohen:     Yeah, agree.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. So do you have anything like that that you really kind of felt like, okay, this is the one thing that I have to ensure that I do regardless of what happens?

Lauren Cohen:     I, I think just not missing important events at school is super critical to me. Um, yeah, I remember last year there was a, something on a Thursday morning, Thursday morning at school and I was going to speak in Dallas actually. And I left right after on the Thursday to make it to Dallas. And the event started on Tuesday. But I was like, I'm sorry, this is more important and I have to be here. And so I left the ride from school, drove to the airport and went to Dallas. So yeah, I think that's probably the, the, the nonnegotiable for me is missing these important events because, you know, I waited a long time to have children, not necessarily by choice. It's just how it happened and why did I have him if I'm not going to be there. So yeah. But I do carry a lot of guilt as well. You've got to admit that.

Shahara Wright:      I think we all do. I think we all do. I don't know that any of us don't have something that we feel like, man, you know, I could've, should've, whatever. I think that comes and goes, um, with all of us. Um, but I definitely think that just as you mentioned, that we do have to give yourself grace, um, that we're doing the best we can with what we have and be okay with it, you know? And, um, I think that that's so important. So, you know, talking about, you know, your schedule with all your speaking and working with your clients, how do you balance your schedule? How do you look at your schedule and say, okay, this is, you know, work time and this is mommy time, or do you do that?

Lauren Cohen:      I probably don't do as good a job as I should. I have the intention of doing a better job just like with meditation, you know. Um, and I try to set aside time each day, that time for my son. Um, and I do, it's just not as much time as he wants. And like last night, for example, he wanted to watch a movie and I was on the computer and I said, okay, well watch the movie. But I wasn't watching the movie. I was, I had to get something done, but he didn't really care. He was there with me. I guess. It wasn't like we were really interacting, but I felt of course guilty because I wasn't really there. I wasn't really present. Um, so I don't have an answer. I wish I did have an answer. I have an answer. But what I'd like it to look like. Um, but it doesn't exactly look like that.

Shahara Wright:     So then what's your dream? What is your dream ideal? Like, perfect scenario.

Lauren Cohen:      Oh my goodness me. That's a big question. Um, to have, well I think I need, for me it's financial freedom. It's not being tied to having to do the work. I mean I love working. I think I'm a workaholic whether by choice or by necessity, I don't know. But, um, to have the ability to make the decision about when I work and when I'm with him and where we go and when I go on a cruise to be able to actually take some time and enjoy being on that cruise. You know, next week we're going on this cruise, like I said, and it's a business cruise. So it's a balance. It's very interesting cause um, there'll be like, I think there's 25 of us going and we're all part of this, this group. Um, it's a collaborative network of professionals and we all try to help each other.

Lauren Cohen:     Um, and it's not just work stuff obviously, because we have some of our healers on there, you know, we're doing group yoga and we're doing the healing, you know, and then we're learning about like how to not take lists. And so it's, it's an interesting balance, but, um, um, I think just to be kinder to my son and be able to show him the attention that he deserves without having to be distracted all the time by all of my other demands. I think that would be ideal for me. And being able to go away on a vacation and actually take a vacation, which at the moment I don't think I'm even capable of. Never mind if I financially could do that.

Shahara Wright:      So yeah, I hear you. Um, I think that's really important. I think, um, it's kind of like one of those things where you just kind of have to figure out for you what works at the time. Um, and I think just kind of as you were talking about as being okay with whatever, wherever you are now, um, but you'll get there eventually and I think that that's the most important thing. So let's talk a little bit about your business and what you do and how you help, um, other business owners. Um, can you tell us a little bit more about what you do?

Lauren Cohen:      Sure. So first and first of all, I am still and will always be a corporate immigration lawyer, which basically means that if you have a foreign investor interested in investing in your business or you're from another country and you want to come into this country or you're looking to raise capital from foreign investors on your girl and that kind of every day of the week, that's my bread and butter. That's my core. Um, the system I developed is an assessment. I think you took it way back to her and assessment driven system where I created this algorithm, this algorithm based assessment, which scores your risk and seven areas and then they create a success plan for you, which is a blueprint for success in your business. In these seven areas. Seven risk areas include, like I said, insurance and sort of certifications and business planning and exit strategy.

Lauren Cohen:     Begin with the end in mind and um, financial and accounting and branding and marketing, most of which are not in my wheelhouse. But the beautiful thing is that I'm going to say, Hey, you're missing this. You're missing the trademark. Let's talk about what that looks like. Maybe there's an opportunity, you know, you're missing, your brand is not consistent with your messaging or your marketing or whatever. So those are the things that I'm going to see as I do the success plan. And then I come in and I basically serve as your COO with the legal background to basically help to implement the strategies we come up with in the blueprint. So, it's a nice system. It was designed for businesses in scale up mode, which basically means they're going from generally six to seven or seven to eight figures. And moving to that next level, bringing in employees.

Lauren Cohen:     I do work with many startups because obviously they need help as well. My ideal client is a turnaround client or a client seeking to exit in turn two to seven years. So a turnaround client means, you know, they've kind of hit a wall and they want to their business around or like back in pretty woman with Richard gear, which probably dates me, but that's okay. Um, coming in and, and do it playing, fix it, like fixing up the business so that you could potentially exit because you want to be able to pass due diligence. And if you don't have all your ducks in a row, you're going to get a very low valuation for your business. And my goal is to come in and help avoid that or help make sure that your valuation is, is better and that you are going to have a lucrative exit. So it's a great system and I'm happy to share with everybody that listens, especially as single moms. Use the coupon code to try the assessment and do a quick, um, a quick strategy session with me. And if you're in Texas and I'm going to refer you to Shahara to do all of the legal work, which is awesome. And that's how we work together and it's collaborative. So, there you go.

Shahara Wright:     Absolutely. So, yeah. Lauren. So, do you have any like advice or tips for other single moms, CEOs like maybe one do or don't?

Lauren Cohen:      I'm going to be featured in a book pretty soon and my seven, my nine advice kits are going to be part of my chapter in this book. Um, I've written a lot of, I wrote for Working Mother Magazine as well and there are so many advice tips. Um, one is get Amazon Prime. Okay, that's an advice tip. I am not getting a commission from them. Believe me. I wish I was um, Amazon prime to do whatever it takes to make your life simpler because it's complicated enough. You know, I like grocery shopping, but if I have to, especially when I was down on my back because I had fallen, I use those, um, Instacart or shift to deliver groceries. Um, take time for yourself and as a business owner, there are two really super important messages and I know you'll agree with them.

Lauren Cohen:     The first is stay in your lane. What does that mean? If you're not, avoid or don't try to be a lawyer, don't download documents off the internet and say, Oh look, I have a coaching agreement. Talk to a professional. I'm not doing my own accounting because that would be not a good plan. So staying in your lane means do what you do best and let others do what they do best and you don't know what you don't know and you, that's really important because you're not going to find out just by doing some research online and Googling this or Googling that. You really need to understand that you don't know what you don't know. And we as professionals are here to help you with those things. And that goes for being a mom too; because you're not going to be the expert at like the rash and the this and the that. Ask for help. There's no IMT team and we need a community. It does take a village, it takes a village to run a business and it takes a village to raise a child and we need those villages in place. And sometimes you may need to cry on somebody's shoulder and feel free to reach out to us because that's made people cry on yours next time.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's great advice. Um, thank you so much for that. So Lauren, tell everyone how they can connect with you and get in touch with if they want to do the scale up assessment or maybe they need some immigration work. How can they?

Lauren Cohen:     Sure. So you can find me everywhere. I am particularly active on LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/company/e-council-inc./ and of course my name Lauren Cohen https://www.linkedin.com/in/ecouncilinc/ .

I'm in South Florida, it’s West Palm beach cause that's the region. Um, on Facebook I have several Facebook groups, but you can also find new Lauren Cohen. Um, and I think there's a picture of me and with my son at this point. Um, I do tons of podcasts like this. I love doing podcasts. And you can find me at http://www.scaleupcheckups.com/money. Now the assessment is a little complicated to give you the coupon code. So if you just reach out to me, um, you can use lauren@scaleupcheckup.com or even my personal email, LaurenEsq@gmail.com  And if for some reason you don't see the coupon code that Shahara shares with you, I'm happy to give you the coupon code to try the assessment as well. Um, so there's all kinds of ways, and if you are a global business owner or seeking to be one, um, I have a special quiz for you and it's called http://www.globalbizquiz.com just like it sounds and at that URL you'll see the quiz right there and I'll be happy to help you with that too.

Shahara Wright:     Awesome. And we'll make sure that we have all the links available for you guys so that you don't have to kill on or keep replaying so you can catch everything, all the links for you. So thanks for being on Lauren. I really always enjoy our conversations, always good. Um, and so I appreciate you.

Lauren Cohen:      Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day. And for those that celebrate the Jewish new year. I wish you an easy, fast if you do see this. Thank you.

Shahara Wright:     All right guys. I'll see you guys next to me. Thank you. Bye bye.

 
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How I turned my community into my business while raising three boys (and one with ADHD)!

12/9/2019

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Divorced, single mother of three young men 23, 21 and 18.
Born in Tampa, FL to two awesome parents before being planted in Virginia, thanks to military orders for her father. Currently residing in Woodbridge, VA, aka “The DMV.”

Married 10 years prior to becoming a single parent. A challenge that turned into an incredible journey. A career in corporate America, while other gifts were being cultivated and put to work. Often called a hustle. However, blessed to have turned it into a lifestyle worth living. One that allowed her to be everywhere she needed to be for her “three Kings.”

Outreach, entrepreneurship, mentoring single mothers, teaching and being a resource to the community. Her passion to serve has shown up in all that she has shared over the 18 years and everywhere she goes.  She is a wealth of information and life hacks are her specialty. Problems all but run from her. The challenges that come with single motherhood, somehow, are neutralized by way of many unspoken resources. She has a very unique way of solving what would be some most difficult situations. It’s simply resourcefulness as you’ve never known it.

She a woman with a testimony, having lost her mother two months after being married, and her father two years later, and then being left by her husband at seven months pregnant, with two little boys, and the 3rd to be delivered very soon. WHEW, it was tough! Much to be angry and bitter about. But God!

Faith, perseverance, determination and the Spirit of the Lord have brought her HERE! A minister of the Gospel indeed and speaker with a gift of rapport that wreaks of connection, strength, and wisdom. A lover of all humanity and a serial optimist.
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https://www.facebook.com/SingledLoutLoud101/
http://www.bit.ly/SingeMotherSupperstars ​​


SINGLE MOM CEO
DIETRA JONES
EPISODE 5 TRANSCRIBED

Shahara Wright:     Hi everyone, welcome to Single Mom CEO. I'm so excited today as I am. Every time I speak to these amazing women, single moms who are owning their own business and doing their own thing today I have Dietra Jones and I'm really excited to have her here. Um, not only is she one of my friends, um, we met last year, but she's also a single mom. We share so much in common and so I really, she was like one of the first people I said, you know, Hey, can you please be a part of this show because you have so much good stuff to share. Um, so thank you so much for being here Dietra!

Dietra Jones:     Yes, thank you. You're so welcome. I'm so glad to be here. I'm excited. Like you are, you know, stay as exciting, different ventures, so, so glad to be here. Thank you for having me.

Shahara Wright:     Okay, so tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do. 

Dietra Jones:      ​
I'm just giving some background. Okay, well, I am Dietra Jones. I live in the DC Metro area. I am the divorce mom of now three young men. They are 23, 21 and now 18 years old. Um, I have, yes, yes, I'm free. So I have 30 plus years of corporate America experience because I was an executive assistant, uh, long before I got married and had my sons. But then once I did, once I found out I was going to be a single mom, nine 11 happened when I had a newborn baby. I thought, you know what? I don't want to be in corporate America anymore. My son's playing sports. I need to be available to them. And my parents are deceased as well. So I had quite a challenge on my hands with kids five and under. So long story short, I walked off my job after six years at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals with the mortgage and three little kids.

Dietra Jones:     I just knew what I was going to do and I knew that God did not create me to be on a job where I have to ask permission to take care of my children and to be the mother that God called me to be. So I left. And so I've done so many things over these last 18 solid years without support, right? Single handed. But I'm going to tell you, God put some great rest and fun in here. And he gave me people like Shahara right. To meet and to collaborate with that could give me some encouragement in my heart that we could work together and make things happen. So I've made all kinds of things happen. Well, nobody's 18 years old, I can almost sell tickets to this experience. So I'm just glad to be able to share it and that's why I'm here today.

Shahara Wright:      Yay. I'm so glad. So yes. So Dietra and I met at a conference last year and you know, we just happened to sit next to each other. Um, kind of during the downtime where everybody was like a bunch of people sitting together and we were just talking and then we realized as we were talking about stuff, you had a lot of, we were both single moms. We both have boys with ADHD. We both run our own business. And so, and we both, you know, really had a passion to help other single mothers. Um, and so, you know, we connected over that. And for me, one of the things I remember talking about is trying to figure out like what I was really excited about. Like what I really, you know, wanted to and talk about. And there's a lot of different things, but one of the things, you know, we'll notice that, you know, I talk about my kids and that, you know, how I set my schedule and my time and I think that's how we ended up really connecting. And so from your perspective, what was that thing that said, okay, I want to do this thing, I want to do this particular business?

Dietra Jones:     Well, I mean for me it had to start with e-commerce because I had $325 that I had to pay a week for childcare. So that's where it started with me. And I knew, you know, I had sold things online before, you know, I was really an entrepreneur in the background. So I start selling stuff online. And so once I did that, it just spawned from there in 2013 when I started selling on eBay. And Amazon, it was the way that I could be at home. And so many of us, we just want to be home more. You know, you have to do dinner, but yet you don't have any money, so how are you going to make this money? So that's what really catapulted me into it because I needed to start making money right away and I wanted other mothers to learn how to do this without being under pressure or being super mad and angry all the time because it gets spilled over onto our children.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah, that's true. And,  I don't know that we really kind of explained exactly what you do. So Dietra, you're with Singled Out Loud and what does Singled Out Loud do?

Dietra Jones:     Well, Singled Out Loud came to me because I used to launch all types of things in ministry because I was in ministry for 15 years. So everything that I did, I always started under the church. And then when I went to this women's conference, a businesswoman from the Washington Business Center pulled me aside and said, why? She said, it's great that you do ministry, but you need to pull your own self out from under this and brand yourself because any event that you leave, you can't take any of this stuff cause it's not branded under your name. So like three weeks later, God drops Singled Out Loud in my lap and I have grown to love it because still it out loud is something God does. For one thing. My heart is turned totally toward God. And so when he singles you out, it will seem like a crisis to you.

Dietra Jones:     But really, he's stretching and growing you. So I wanted people to be able to live a balanced lifestyle because I was also in the music industry. So being able to not be on the hell express, people always try to put you on, okay, you can live your life. Go to jazz concerts, having a glass of wine, just not be drunk with wine. Okay, so singled out loud is a lifestyle worth living because when you bring God glory and your heart is turned towards serving people, the blessings will come and roll your way. So was Singled Out Loud. I help people reinforce their faith. I show them what a faith walk looks like when you're transparent because I'm not for hiding things. I want to live so that people can see that God is more believable and that it is workable and doable. So that's what singled out loud as about bringing people together. God is behind it all. Whether it's retreats, things that you do with your children as a single parent because you often think you can't afford something or that you don't have the time. No, I'm going to show you how to do all of those things and bring it all together while you're at peace.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, and I think that's important and I think especially for single moms, um, well while there are a lot of single mothers, um, you know, you, you realize that they're, they're single, they're moms, single moms out there. I think you don't really have real support groups. You know, we don't really have a true network of people that we rely upon and get help from. Um, because we're all kind of in the rat race kind of. It always seems. And so to me, I think it's important that we learn how to support each other and find ways to do that. And so I like what you do because you've definitely made sure that these moms are so alone and by themselves.

Dietra Jones:     And I absolutely love doing that. It's, that's where the burning is in my heart because I see so many frustrated single mothers out here. They're so frustrated and they're so mad all the time. And I'm always cheerful. I'm always being silly. No matter how bad it is, we are going to have, we don't pull some fun out of this thing. We're going to have some fun and we're going to also make a lot of things free. So we're going to show you how it's workable because a lot of times we're pulled in so many different directions and money is always the number one. But I'm a yeah, we can do it.

Shahara Wright:    Absolutely. Absolutely. So one of the things I know, I know about you and you also said about, is that how you became divorced, um, when your kids were young, you had three kids decided to start your own business. Did you think about in terms of balancing your business, growing your business with having your kids?

Dietra Jones:      Well, for me, I, I found something that goes along with it and it was the great outdoors and adventures. So I put together these, these adventures, family camp, house and camp grounds, um, putting together universal circuits. I always got people to bring their kids out and then our children became a marketing piece. So that allowed me to be able to get us covered because we need to do group sales and group tickets and group happenings. You save a lot of money. And I was able to pass that on to some mothers that couldn't possibly afford to do it. Or if they had six kids, I paid for three. And then people began to give me money and say, do you try, I know you're blessed. You dog on, right? Cause we're going places and we're going to have fun. Hey, everybody goes to work, everybody's got doctor's appointments. No, we're going to have fun with this money, so let's do it. So trying to bring my kids where I didn't need to find a babysitter for me to go out and find a part time job, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to for me to be able to spend more time with them. So that's all I thought about was things that I could do that would include my kids, that would also generate revenue behind it.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, I think that's really important. And I think, um, for, for all of us, you know, we think about what can we do, um, work around that only our schedule but our kid's schedule. I think that's really important, especially in terms of business. So as your boys were growing up, did they understand what you did was a business and your lifestyle?

Dietra Jones:      I don't think they did the beginning because I had a five year old, a three year old and a brand new baby. So they were so little. But when I did things, I walked them through transactions and I made it fun for them. So they didn't know what they were getting, but I knew what foundation I was lying and I was showing them how on Wednesdays before I went to Bible study, I used to do mystery shopping. We used to go to five guys and they'd go check the guys bathroom and come back and say, Oh mommy, the bathroom is really clean. They didn't know what they were doing, but I'd have them on a mission hunting and then our fruit would be free because I would just be simply doing these surveys so we got to eat free. Before we went to Bible study, they got in on, it felt like they were helping mommy. And so as I got older, I opened their bank accounts for them and I was showing them and talking to them while I was doing things. So, needless to say, they'd go and invite all their friends and I would start way ahead of time so the parents can pay little by little whatever you can pay. And everybody ended up being able to go. That's why my seven passenger van always had nine kids in it. It was everybody.

Shahara Wright:     Right, right. And that sounds like so much fun. So I wanted to kind of pivot a little bit because I wanted to talk to you about having a child with ADHD. Now, how old is your ADHD son?

Dietra Jones:     He's 21.  Just turned 21 in September.

Shahara Wright:     So mine is 11. Um, and I think that this is an important issue. One because I think a lot of times, especially in our community, um, ADHD is so misunderstood. Um, and it's not, um, kind of seeing something that should can seriously, um, and so, and especially with your son being, um, 21, I'm sure that the time that you realize there's something going on, there probably wasn't a lot of help around. And just tell me in terms of diagnosis and when you kind of realize, Hey, you know, we need help with, what were you going through and what were you dealing with in terms of doing that?

Dietra Jones:    Well, the first thing is, I mean I worked at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals, so Conserta is an ADHD drug. So I was very familiar with drug therapy and I was really against it. So it took me two years to even decide to try it because I just didn't, I'm anti-drug, I totally am. I mean I really am. And so when they said that, I said, Oh no, the devil is a liar because I can, I don't have this problem with him at home. And so when they were telling me this and they kept giving him an IEP at school and they even tried to put it on my other son too, but he was always an antagonist. That's how I saw. But of course I never said these words to him, but as a parent, you know, you can use whatever words you want in your head.

Dietra Jones:      He's such an antagonist. So early on, I will always give him, and he's a middle child too, that may have something to do with it, but his focus was so short. So I would, I would give him activities and he was always fiercely competitive too, because he's always envious. And so I let him, I was like, I bet you can't pick up as many toys as Devin. I bet you can't pick as many as Donovan. Set him off on all these different missions and he felt wouldn't special cause he was like, I'll beat you. I beat you. Right. But the room's cleaned up. So that's all I cared about. You know what I mean? I'd sent him on, go get me this and then he finds things. So, I mean, but at school, he was, I had, I swear I repeated the eighth grade. I was at school in classes every day I was there.

Dietra Jones:     And so, um, I tried him on Conserta, but you know what, it made him like a schizophrenic. Um, and so I knew drugs right away and I mean, he'd be scared, he'd be hearing noises. So I said, I don't need, I don't need a doctor telling me he's off of that. What else can we try? Right. So, but he was so agitated, then he didn't eat and I mean he would just be, um, you know, insecurity to about within himself. So all of these things, anxiety that goes along with having ADHD because they're looking around, they're comparing themselves to people. So he got on Adderall finally. And so he calmed down some, but then he started saying he didn't like the way itself, but that's great for you to say that, but now you're going to have to tell mommy what that means. Yeah. So he was on it for a little while and I wouldn't give it to him on the weekends and they would say, well, you have to, because his levels, I was like, listen, that's a level that y'all have a problem with.

Dietra Jones:     I don't give it to him on the weekends cause I don't have a problem at home, but I'm not fighting my son. I can control him, you know? So, but he was wanting for a little while and then I decided I'm going to take them completely off of it and just work with him and it was with his IEP and I finally got to some teachers who understood, because I put him in an all boys' program. It was a coed school, but they were trying this pilot program with all these teachers were males and that worked. Yeah, work. They had basketball hoops in the class. The kids, if they felt at, you know, like they wanted to get up, they could get up and go do stuff that was productive. Right. So that's how I ended up taking him off of it because it can really, it's really such a delicate balance, so you really have to be on top of it completely and it works differently for each child.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's true. I think that's the important thing. And my son, my son is on medication. He's on Adderall as well and it has worked. I was lucky. I think we were very blessed that we did not have to go through a whole bunch of changes in terms of medication, really managing the dosage now like it, but he says it doesn't make any difference, which I is clearly not true.  I could definitely tell the difference between him on meds and not meds, but they're accurate too. Um, but for me, you know, one of the things that happened with my son when we got him diagnosed, he was at six and he was going to first grade and he like from private school to, um, to a public school. And I noticed in private school when he was in kindergarten, actually before then, I had started kind of saying something is not right. Oh, rambunctiousness for a little boy. And I have, so, you know, I was like, this is, this is a whole different kind of thing.

Shahara Wright:     Um, and so when he got to first grade it was, Oh my gosh, he was having the worst time teacher was like, you know, can he even hold the scissors? Does he know how to write? I mean basic stuff that he clearly knew how to do, but he was so overwhelmed because students were much more, the pace was faster, you know, adjust. And so I'm hastened, um, to get him diagnosed and get him, you know. And that even took some time and I think one of my best friends, her daughter has ADHD and she kinda helped me through the process, was not getting any assistance from anybody else. And so we were very lucky in that sense. But I say all that to say that in that process, you do spend a lot of time, you know, away from your business, you're up at the school.

Shahara Wright:     And so how are you managing, trying to run your business through all the lack of, for lack of a better word, drama, having to deal with, to be able to care for your son.

Dietra Jones:      I mean, do you really want to know I'm thankful that I'm a high energy system because I was up all night. I mean, I be pulling all nighters and it was so amazing and funny all the one hand because my son told his mentor, he seems concerned about me. He goes, I don't think my mom ever sleeps. He goes, when I go to bed, she's awake. And when I wake up, she's awake. And so I laughed at that. But he was so concerned that I was never getting any sleep. So that's why I had this thing called after nine is my time because the house was silent between 8:45 and 9:00 PM there were no voices spoken at all. Even as they got older, after nine was my time.

Dietra Jones:      And if you don't to be at the hospital or me to be in jail or, or you're talking to me because I wouldn't mind listing things online to sell during my drop shipping business and all that stuff behind that. And that's how I did it. I would be up all night because in the daytime, I mean, I still need like a cat nap, like you two to four or something like that. But I was in, sometimes day's ran together, but as long as I got those appointments done and got them with their homework done and I could cook my meals on Sundays, I had like restaurant day and I organize my time cooking for the week on Sunday cause I never knew what might happen. Cause remember I didn't have anybody except me. So whatever came up I had to handle it all.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's really important. Especially having a schedule. I know for one of the things that I do in terms of that is, you know, my clients all know that I have kids and they all know like, you know, I pick up and drop off my son. I'm like all my kids, all my clients know that. Right. You know, this is the time I have the work between this time and this time. And if you make it happen in between these times, you wait till the next day. So it's a big condition to understand like I'm this. Even, you know, [my clients] are like, Oh I know you were dropping off your son off.  I waited until I know I can get you. And I was like, okay, yeah, you know, you have to block that time off. I definitely think that you have to ensure, um, that you keep a tight schedule and it makes sure that people are clear about your time, whether it's your kids, whether it's, um, you know, your clients or whomever.

Shahara Wright:    With that, I think keeping that tight schedule, um, helps you, um, ensure that you are able to, you know, consistently, you know, be good at whatever it is that you're doing. So I wanted to kind of move into that, you know, between, you know, kids and the world. I think a lot of conversation with the moms that I've had so far is really trying to find that on the time, um, times where you just have, for you to relax until you not worried about worried about your kids or whatever. So what did you do to find the time?

Dietra Jones:     Well, I had a heck of a support network and a village. I mean extraordinary because between my neighbors that were next door and we all knew each other from as you were pregnant having our children. And I had people who could either go by, check on my sons or I would set up play dates. But remember I had three and it, remember Demetrius was the ADHD kid so you couldn't just send him anywhere because the next thing you know your kids will be arguing. Everybody was fine until Demetrius came. Okay be careful. He would pretty much go somewhere to his own friend's house cause he tried to share friends that didn't work. It's like boy, come on. No, no. So getting a network is when you're a single mom, especially if you have limited family support. And I did because my parents were deceased and my brother was out of the country.

Dietra Jones:     So set up an incredible, and that's what I did. I wouldn't, I would see when something's that would show, do I want to go to who else wants to go? Then I'd have my kids place at these places with people that I absolutely could even turn my phone off because these are people who knew they could be Dietra Jones if I'm not there and something goes down, do whatever you would do. Cause they know me that well and so that was so important and precious to me and that's what I did. I would find something I wanted to do, but you know, sometimes, I mean, if you can work it in last minute that's cool. And sometimes I could, you know, I also had a good relationship with their dad so I would also like to find time to go away maybe like every three or four months. I might go somewhere for a weekend and he honestly would come to our house cause he didn't have his own and watch the guys while I was gone because he wanted them to be in their own space. So I would say maintaining an amicable relationship with the noncustodial parent nomad. This woman said, it's really important no matter what they are doing. Get your understanding so they can come and, pretend for about two or three days and you go and do whatever you're going do, do it.

Dietra Jones:     Get away, get your time in. Amen. Hallelujah. That's fine. But can you pretend on the weekend of such, right, right. Yeah. Just, just for these two days. Hold it. Now thinking about that, you know what, I guess other advice, I mean, do you have any do's or don'ts in terms of running your own business and being in a single mom? Um, for other women out there? The most important thing and the worst thing that you can do is to start doing something that you hate. Just for the money. There's no such thing as just for the money. You're going to catch hell, okay. It's going to be in one area or another. Do not do, I don't care what everybody else is doing. Do what you love to do and the money will come. I promise you, every single passion that I have that God has given me execute and it comes with it.

Dietra Jones:     Right? That's what I'm saying. Find what you like and talk to other mothers and don't be MDs. Okay? That's one thing. Don't do that. Genuinely have your heart clear. Talk to people because you'll get a lot of information. I call her recon, Kathy, your eyes and your ears and your mind open, right? Because you have to create one. If there is no opportunity, create one, right? Be afraid, never want opposition. It just doesn't matter. Other people don't. They won't comprehend your skill level on the angle that you're coming from. It's okay. Do it. Do it. And don't be afraid. Find people like me to support you. And Orthodox is only certain people. I'll be like, Shahara girl, this sounds crazy, but I don't have the time. No one else needs to understand. Long as you got your front-line people talk to them and ignore the rest of them.

Shahara Wright:      Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much for that. So Dietra why don't you tell us how we can contact you, um, how we can buy from you. How can we support you and your business?


Dietra Jones:    Well, you can find me at singled out loud on every platform Singled Out because God singled me out and out loud, loud testimony that they won't be able to ignore them. I'm on every platform, whether it's Instagram, Facebook, my name is Deirdre Jones. I have begun scoping again on Periscope. You can find me there. You can also, yeah, you can also go to http://www.bit.ly/SingeMotherSupperstars. That's what it stands for because I show single mothers how to become something that you call brand ambassadors. The people that you see that agreeing you when you come in the stores. Please understand that we are making $22 an hour. And it's funny because people have said, Oh it's so nice of you to volunteer. I'm like, no, but I don't have to explain it. Remember, we don't have to explain.

Dietra Jones:     So I show you how to like the other weekend I didn't have to ask her. I mean there's so many opportunities that you can get out and remember we're single. Hello? Yes. Get out, meet people, feel productive. Get a check and be able to support your family. So yes, the intra Jones and singled out loud anywhere and I gave you the link, but when you inbox me on any of those platforms, I'm here for your support. Let's do this and we can with dignity and respect. We don't have to compromise our characters or our bodies. Y'all don't believe. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you so much.

Shahara Wright:     Sure. I always love talking to you. I'm so glad that you were able to come here and to share you guys and make sure you reach out to the teacher. We'll have all the links and stuff available as well. If you want to hear more about Single Mom CEO. Then you can find this on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/shaharawright. That's my name. Shahara Wright.

​We also have a Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSucccess. And so you can find us at all of these places. Connect with us here more. You have more great women coming. So thank you and I look forward to seeing you next time. Bye bye.
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    Shahara Wright is an Attorney, Business Woman and Single Mom.  She understands what has it been like to have the world on your shoulders and feel like you are going to crumble.  But you can't, because you are a single mom! 

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