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How I found my path to healing after the death of my husband.

12/23/2019

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Tracy Boone is a Breakthrough Specialist – International Speaker – Author – Sales Team  Expert – Child and Family Advocate.

For over two decades, she has managed, operated and owned three 40,000 square foot multi-million-dollar fitness facilities in Denver, Colorado.  She was married to Reid Boone, A Champion athlete that co-owned and operated the business with her family until tragedy struck in 2012 when her husband died of Cruetzfield-Jacobs disease. Her son, Elijah, was only six years old at the time.

She and her young son have co-founded a non-profit, Elijah’s Path to Healing Foundation, whose mission is providing paths to healing through community, relationships and partnerships for the widows and fatherless using a faith-based model. Her personal mission is to unite lives to make a difference. They are raising funds for a 5th wheel and F450 truck so they can travel across the country to help families who have lost a parent in schools and equine facilities.

Her passion is to empower people to overcome adversity and Create Heroes in their own life story. Tracy holds the following designations: Certified Fitness Trainer, Specialist in Fitness Nutrition and TRX Team Training Camp Certified Coach. She has certifications in Faith Based Equine Assisted Philosophy and Faith Alliance Against Slavery and Trafficking. She is an Ordained Pastor and holds a Doctorate in Christian Counseling and Psychology from Carolina University of Theology.

Tracy’s two books are titled “I Can Finish Well” and “Elijah’s Hope,
Who Am I?”

If you would ask her, she would say her most important titles are Mother and
Child of God and being an advocate for families who have lost a parent.

Who here today is here to learn how to overcome obstacles in their own work and life?

http://www.icanfinishwell.com 



SINGLE MOM CEO
TRACY BOONE
EPISODE 7 TRANSCRIPT

hahara Wright:    Hi everyone, and welcome Single Mom CEO. I'm so happy to be here. I'm with you guys. Once again, I am Shahara Wright, and today we have with us Tracy Boone, um, another single mom and I just, this is a rarity, in that I just met Tracey and we had a really good conversation and I said, Hey, I got to have you on this show. So I'm so glad that she agreed and took the time to be here. So thank you so much Tracey.

Tracy Boone:      Oh, Oh, really enjoy the meeting. You and I felt like I knew you forever already.

Shahara Wright:     Yes. So we're having a little bit of technical difficulties. You guys is kind of freezing up a little bit, but, um, we're gonna get through this one way or another, so we're going to make that happen. Um, so anyway, Tracey, um, why don't you introduce yourself, tell everyone about you and, and what you do.

Tracy Boone:     Um, my name is Tracy Boone. I actually am the CEO and founder and executive director of Elijah's Path to Healing foundation and a lot of hats just in that. Um, and I'm a single mom. I'm a widow of almost seven years,  as of December 23rd. And I had at the time, he was six years old when we lost my late husband Reed Boone. And so we've had about a seven year journey.  I had a three large gym fitness facilities here in Denver, Colorado. So we're from Denver, Colorado, and we love horses and we are bringing healing and hope to families across the country and hopefully around the world eventually. Um, and just starting a television program to coming up here, um, starting in Thanksgiving day. So, um, things are progressing very quickly. Yeah. So we have a weekly television program now starting, um, on the now network and yeah, in about four weeks less. I'm a mom of a very big 13 year old. Yeah. I love it. He has no sense of, um, uh, let's just say he's a very huge dreamer and I love that. So, um, anyway, that's me.

Shahara Wright:     No, that's a lot. Congratulations on the television show. I'm so happy for you. And so I know one of the first questions I asked you, um, when we first spoke, and I know everybody wants to know is how did you kind of move from doing the gyms to a question work? Um, you know, it with, uh, families who widowed families.

Tracy Boone:     Well, you know, when you have some huge trauma or grief, something like this happens, happen to you. One of the things that you do find out very quickly that if you use what you've been through to help others, it actually really helps you. Um, it helps others. But this just so that the ones that use this to help others really do well, but the ones that haven't made it. Um, and in what we have been through, so it doesn't even seem like an option to us. It's just like a call that we have on our life and that we've answered, you know. But, um, we went from the gym industry, you know, gyms are very busy and they're very hard. It's very hard, intense business. And we had three 40,000 square foot facilities here with over 15,000 members and a hundred employees. And it was just a big animal.

Tracy Boone:     And you know, I'm a faith girl and I just really believe with all my heart that God led me out of that and into what we're doing now. Um, he brought a Jewish man to by my facility, so I was like, well, that's pretty awesome. And he bought my facilities. Um, you know, it just, it was getting harder and harder to do by myself and my son. You know, one of the challenges that I was really under was my business was so busy being just me that my son suffering and I had to make a change and he had to be homeschooled for a bunch of different reasons. And, um, I had to make a change. I had to make a hard decision and that's what we did. So I made it. I chose him.

Shahara Wright:     Yes, yes. That's what we do, right? As single moms, we choose our kids. And, you know, one of the themes I think that all of us have is that, you know, we've decided to build our businesses around our kids. And I think that's the most awesome thing. I think, um, that we can do, we can choose to do that.

Tracy Boone:    Yeah. And the one thing I did learn coming from that experience, I know what I don't want, right. Coming out of that into this, and now I can shape this foundation since we're the founders, right. I can make it look like a doable situation and I know what I don't want, which is huge. You know, to know what you don't want is really important.

Shahara Wright:    So I think it's a big deal. I think it really is. And I think, um, being able to say, you know what, I really don't want that. And so I'm not going to do that. I think there was a hard lesson for me to learn, um, literally like I would know I don't want that. But I would think, well, I've got gotta do it anyway, even though I don't want to; no, you don't.

Tracy Boone:    Oh, right. Oh, I have a choice. That's great. Yeah. So, yeah, but I mean it, you know, it's, it's the coolest thing is be able to do something with this and to be an example for your kid, you know, to say, look, we can create something from nothing. Right. Right. And really make a difference. It's been such an amazing journey. And he and I were just filming the other day and he's just the personality anyway. And he just, you know, I said, son, why do you want to do this? And he said, you know what? I want to do this because it's kind of like a sneeze. You just got to get it out. He goes, there's just something in me, the test.

Tracy Boone:     Okay. I mean, we could, yes. For three years. So it's been a lot of developments and things and nouns are to move, which is really fun. But to be able to be an example and to show him that you can make decisions and choices in your life and shape your life the way you'd like to see it. Right. Um, so that's, that's one of the things I wanted to share is it's we are a true example to our kids. And the one thing I have made I'm very diligent in my life is to make sure he knows that he counts. He's number one number and in my life, and I have to be very focused on that. If I'm not focused on that, it gets away from me and then all of a sudden I'm seeing some behaviors that I'm not loving. Right. So it's very, you know, when you're, you, you, you, I'm sure you get that.

Shahara Wright:     Absolutely. Absolutely. I think it's important, you know, that we figure out kind of that balance. Um, because I know, um, for me, sometimes I'm like, OK, I, there are things that I need to do that, like I just need to do and I just can't focus on you right now. Um, and being able to set that expectation like, Hey, you know, mommy has to focus here, but as soon as I'm done with that, we'll, you know, get back to, you know, whatever else. Yeah.

Tracy Boone:     Right. Yeah, sure. You acknowledge them and say, Hey, you're on the radar, you know, let me get these things done.  But it has to be sacred. I mean, you know, when you have your, a significant other there, you kind of can slow, but when it's just you, you have to really be diligent with your time. And that's, I think that's one of my books. I think that is my most valuable asset is my time. Yeah. And when somebody infringes on it, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm not very nice.

Shahara Wright:     I'm not very nice there. Yes, I know. I know. And that's the best way to get on my bad side is wasting my time. Um, yeah. That's just not going to happen for you yet.

Tracy Boone:    Yeah, you too? And I've got a few people say, Hey, what is this thing about your time? I said, try and be a single mom and you'll find out real quick.

Shahara Wright:     I mean, I don't think a lot of, I think that's something that doesn't get appreciated as much because when you're by yourself, um, you know, your schedule is everything. And so, you know, you are having to be not just where somebody has in your business, but wearing so many hats at home, um, in that you, you know, you've got so many hats that you have to like really pay attention to how you're scheduling your time and where it goes. Um, because if you don't, um, you know, balls get dropped and that's the last thing we want to see happen. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So you said something, Tracey, that I think is amazing because I always say this is something that I can never do because I don't have any patients at all whatsoever. Um, but you homeschool your son. Um, so I want to know how in the world do you make that happen? Um, cause I can't even imagine just my brain is like not even allowing me to go there.

Tracy Boone:     Well, you know, and honestly the, the, the, the kids can go to school and do great in school. It's, I think it's an amazing thing. First of all, I want to say that I think it's an awesome thing if they can do that. Um, my son, unfortunately when we were in the school system after my husband died, he was just struggling really hard. And you know, we found out later that he had an interruption in his nervous system, the development, his nervous system from wow. So that was why he was struggling so hard in school. I mean, I saw my son's hall art. Yeah, well his behaviors were, and they weren't matching up and I just, as a mom, you just know that something isn't right. But you know, he needed me and I was running the facilities working, I can't even tell you how many hours a day. And my son looked at me and they looked at me at the school and I knew that he was in the wrong place and I had to make a choice again. I chose him and you know, God always makes a way when you choose, when you do the right thing and you listen. And I just knew in my heart it was the right thing.

Tracy Boone:     Well the lean on and homeschooling. So I kind of took their path and said, Hey, show me how you do this quickly. Because I don't have a lot of what time. And so they coached me and had me homeschooling in no time. And I got be, I get to witness some of the coolest things and my kid learn and grow as an art. And you have to learn how to go. I mean, I go to, I go to conventions like well, I think to prepare myself on how to do this, but again, it's, it's just, it's the hand that I've been dealt when my son needed me. And I know that anybody listening that if your son or daughter needed you and this was the Avenue, you'd figure it out. You know? And if they don't need it, great. But if they do, you'll do it. You know? That's just what moms do. We do what our kids need and it all seems to work out right. So that's how you do it. I never saw myself homeschooling, however, it's a miracle. Um, but it is, like I said, one of the most, I think I will always treasure the time there was, you know, there's moments where I won't, but yeah. Yeah.

Shahara Wright:    No, I love it. I really do. So let's talk about, you know, the, the nonprofit organization and, you know, I, I definitely understand, um, you know, just from, you know, being on boards, being a lawyer that's set up nonprofits, you know, kind of being around how difficult that is. And I think in some ways it's more difficult than starting your own business. Um, so how are you kind of finding the time and the ability to get the message out about what you do, uh, so that you can assist other families?
Tracey Boone:                                                You know? Um, I have an amazing, at owning gyms, you really learn how to set up your community. You know, you go out and you find people and you let them know. So I've kind of, I spent the last quarter of a century doing that other in a different arena. So it's kind of a natural thing for me. Oh. So it's a lot of collecting emails. And I know a lot of people, I'm already, because of what I do and who I know. And, um, but you know, I, like I said, I'm a faith girl and when you're called to do something, you show up and God shows up and things happen. Um, you know, I had no idea within that other than a couple of weeks ago I'd be doing a television show. So who was obviously taking this to a whole new level and they have 30 million followers. So that kind of solves a lot of problems for me.

Tracy Boone:     But you know, in the first few years you're, you're in the development stage and you're real, this is a, this is a worldwide global. Yeah, thanks. So it takes time to really develop and say, what is the need and how are we going to solve it? And that takes a lot of time to do enough and now right behind me and the last year, it's been about finding the right people to be in the right place. And now we're just, you know, again, we're at kind of at that leap off point right now. And so we're just getting the word out through that, through Facebook, through, um, just communications like that. Just word of mouth. And I know so many of these people, but we do equine assisted philosophy. And what that is, you know, when I last read the hospice, um, therapist handed me a stack of brochures and just some therapy for your son and yourself.

Tracy Boone:      Right? And so I went through a brochure. I couldn't imagine myself the office after that, but I ran across a brochure with men on a horse. But you know what, that got them out. And it ended up being just this amazing journey. I'm now certified in it and I now have the facilities across the United States to, to have access to which opens up a whole other door. Cause all those people know people and you know, it's amazing how many people know breathing people and they need help. So, you know, it's just kind of spreads like wildfire. When you solve a problem, it seems to spread. That's true. That's true. And that's so great. So in terms of, you know, you know, finding time for you in the midst of homeschooling and getting your, you know, nonprofit off the ground and all the other wonderful things that you do.

Tracy Boone:      How do you find time for you? Well, you know, that is again, the air arena that I was in for so long. I was a trainer, a personal trainer, and I had to listen to my own voice. And it was a process because this is the stuff I know. Um, you know, I had to really look at my schedule and what I need. I'm up at 5:00 AM I do my workout, I watch, um, inspirational things and I spend my time, um, with God in the morning. And then at 6:30 a.m., I have a conference, zoom call. All the people very, very diligent with that. But if I don't get my workout in, I'm just off. So I've learned what works for me, what does, and I've had to be really diligent with it and just say, what do I need and then I need put it in place and then I don't need to move. And it's just a lot of the things that I've already, but I used to, did I actually teach people, so yeah.

Tracy Boone:     I actually have a prayer call that I do all the widows and the fatherless kids out there. So from 6:30 a.m. to 7 a.m. we have a prayer call that everybody calls in to the zoom and we pray over them, we minister to them and that's what I do. So I have to be ready and on my game at six 30 to seven. Right. And then, you off my day goes. But I just make sure I how that time in the morning and it's very important. And then, you know, once a week I really try to just have a time where I can just go off and be by myself and just kind of refreshing cause that's me. I'm a person that if I go off and just have just quiet time for myself, then that's, that's really helpful for myself. So that's what I try to do. Um, and sometimes I do really well at it, another time, the times, I don't know, one the weeks I don't, it's not a great thing, so I've got to be diligent with it.

Shahara Wright:     That's good. That's good.

Tracy Boone:      And you know, honestly horses are big for me. Yeah. So if I go pet on a horse, they're good.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah. You, you get to enjoy that and it's good that you can kind of combine what you do and give yourself self-care, um, in that. So, um, you know, what do you find like is your biggest struggle.

Tracy Boone:     You know, as you're trying to manage all these things, what do you find like is the most difficult thing that you have? The advantage? No, I think, um, what I feel very spread thin. I think my anxiety goes up and I think that's something that I'm really working on right now because you know, when you just feel like, Oh my goodness, I've got to get to that though, that, that and you start getting overwhelmed instead of just being okay in the moment I'm good. Um, I feel like my anxiety level raises and then that's not great for anybody. Right. And then, you know, thinking of the horse, you know, I'm going to do a lot of these analogies with the show and all that, but with a horse, they are the ultimate, um, prey animal. So they respond to your emotions. Well, think about your child.

Tracy Boone:    They are, they are the ultimate prey human right. They will respond to you correctly and accurately if you watch their emotions, if you watch their body language, if you watch and pay attention to what you're doing. And so that's something that I'm just really being, I'm really heightened in right now. I'm just watching and I'm just watching how, to me, if I was in an arena, what would I be really evaluating about myself? Because, you know, just to be in, Oh my God. And to um, think for self-care. If you're in the moment and you just breathe and you take things one thing at a time and just keep that piece down at peace within you and just relax and just say this, the person with the most peace wins and Rudy Giuliani said that, you know, during nine 11, that's how we did it. The person that had the most peace won in every, all the arenas. And I just think that's really important because nobody wins when you're heightened like that. And so that's one of the biggest challenges I'm facing right now with everything going on is I've just got to slow things down one thing at a time. Keep my anxiety, be, be real, present about my, and mindful of my anxiety and, and cause that's what I do. I just kind of get a little heightened when there's too much going on. Right. That's me.

Shahara Wright:     I do the same thing. I do the same thing. Yes. And this sneaks up on you because you think you got it all and it's like, wait, what happened? Yes. I totally get it. I totally get it. So thank you so much Tracey for, you know, giving us your insight and your thoughts. I know I'm you guys, we have a little bit of technical difficulty, but hopefully you got the gist of everything that Tracey was saying. Um, we, um, definitely enjoy having you here. So tell everyone how they can connect with you. Um, get in touch with the organization. How can we support you? W what, what can we do?

Tracy Boone:    Always donating is a great thing, especially now because we're starting a telecom the gym program, so it costs money. But, um, you know, my website is, I, you know, if you can remember this, I wrote a book called I can finish well. Um, and the website is http://www.icanfinishwell.com  and then on there you can see a tab called foundation. Um, and I'm can give a free gift. Kind of a really neat thing from, um, my husband. If you want to text at 26786 the word heroic. My husband wrote a piece called, um, the power from within. He was a champion athlete and it was a one, it's just an amazing piece. So if that's something that they want to do, um, it's a free, a free gift from us. Um, I give it to everybody I talk to cause it's just an amazing piece and everybody gets something from.

Shahara Wright:     Nice. Thank you so much and we'll definitely have um, links and the information for you guys as well. So, um, as you're watching this, you'll, you'll have it all available to you on our blog, um, on YouTube and Facebook and everything like that. So thank you so much Tracey, for being here and sharing your story. Um, I look forward to watching your television show and I also look forward to for us, you know, to connect more. Um, so thank you so much for sharing your, your time with us.

Tracy Boone:    I definitely have, yeah, our show too. So actually this is going to be, I look forward to getting to know you even more.

Shahara Wright:    Awesome. Okay. You guys. Well, that's it for Single Mom CEO this week. Thank you so much you guys for being here. Um, I look forward to seeing you next time we talk. Make sure you connect with us on Facebook on, and we'll get your, we have everything for us, but you can go to single moms, CEO one, I think it's single moms, CEO success on Facebook. Um, and YouTube is, um, Shahar, right? So YouTube.  Um, and again, you know, I'm going to make sure that you have all the links so you don't have to remember everything, but make sure you go there and do it. All right? And we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

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How I learned to say YES to myself and accept help from others!

12/16/2019

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A graduate of York University and Osgood Hall Law School in Toronto, Canada, global entrepreneur and #1 bestselling author Lauren A. Cohen is an attorney licensed in both the U.S. and Canada. Lauren is an expert concierge immigration and business advisor boasting a stellar track record of success. Lauren has first-hand knowledge of the visa process, having herself immigrated from Canada in 2001, and later becoming an American citizen. In 2008, Lauren started e-Council Inc., an internationally-acclaimed company focused on providing strategic full-service solutions for businesses seeking capital and foreigners seeking access to the U.S. market with a special focus on professional business plans and the EB-5 Immigrant Investor Program as well as all other investment business immigration matters.

Continuing in the tradition of sound strategic solutions, ScaleUP Enterprises, LLC was established in 2018 and ScaleUPCheckUP is Lauren’s newest initiative - an online growth assessment checkup tool for growing businesses in ScaleUP mode seeking to ensure they are built on a strong foundation by way of the ScaleUP 3-Step Success System involving Assessment, Diagnosis and Delivery. The mission is to anticipate and overcome challenges while providing access to a collaborative network of high-touch vetted professional services providers to address gaps so businesses are able to ScaleUP painlessly and successfully. Designed in response to the challenges faced by so many entrepreneurs that simply do not understand the critical importance of proper professional guidance, or are afraid that the costs of protection are too high, ScaleUPCheckUP is poised to revolutionize the professional services industry and the way in which professional services are delivered.

Lauren also recently established Find My Silver Lining, a non-profit whose goal is to inspire others to persevere through challenging times and focus on the bright side as they strive to lead fulfilling lives. Lauren has received numerous awards and recognitions including a 2018 award through the Florida Association of Women Lawyers as a “Leader in the Law”. Lauren was recently invited to join the expert faculty of CEO Space International, a top-tier global training and networking organization. A regular writer and contributor to magazines, books and other media globally for several years, Finding Your Silver Lining in the Business Immigration Process is Lauren’s first book, which became a #1 bestseller during its first month! The proceeds of Lauren's book are being used to fund “Find My Silver Lining”. Lauren’s second book, which is focused on the franchise industry, is entitled “A Burning Desire to Succeed: Striking the Perfect Franchise Match” and is currently available as an e-book. 


https://www.scaleupcheckup.com/
https://ecouncilinc.com/

SINGLE MOM CEO
LAUREN COHEN
EPISOD 6 TRANSCRIBED

Shahara Wright:      Hi everyone and welcome to Single Mom CEO. I am Shahara Wright. And today we have with us Lauren Cohen and I'm really excited to have Lauren and I know I say that every week. I'm really excited about each and every one because they bring such a different perspective. Um, Lauren is someone I met I think maybe a year or two ago, I think. I can't even remember, but I was through another podcast that I had a video cast that I had, um, CEO collaboration circle and we spoke and we got along so well that we stayed in touch and we connect. And so I'm really excited to have her here with us today. And so because of that connection, I was able to ask her to come on. And once again, I'm interviewing another favor and be on another show. Um, and she graciously accepted. So, Hey Lauren, thank you so much for being here.

Lauren Cohen:     Okay, thank you. It's absolutely my pleasure.

Shahara Wright:     So Lauren, why don't you give us, um, a brief introduction to who you are and what you do and what you're all about.

Lauren Cohen:     Thank you. Shahara. So as Shahara said, I'm Lauren Cohen. Yeah. We met about, I don't know, year and a half, two years ago, just like she said. Um, um, I was in her original show and it was great and I just really enjoyed connecting with you at the time and throughout time since then, supporting each other. A little bit of tears here and there. Right. Single Mom CEOs and lawyers, both of us. So I am originally from Toronto, Canada. I came to the U S originally in the 90s. I became a citizen in 2012 and I am an immigration and corporate concierge lawyer. But that's not really who I am. I am more of an entrepreneur, but I have developed my credibility and practice and focus and business out of being a lawyer, dealing with so many businesses, both domestically and internationally, that are creating, um, or planning to hoping to create scalable businesses and hitting roadblocks in the process because they didn't really pay any attention or enough attention to their foundation. And as lawyers, that's kind of the most critical thing for us. So I would see all these businesses spending tens of thousands of dollars on coaching and marketing and, and, um, sales and no money at all on setting up their corporation properly. For example, even knowing what type events do they had, where should they focus their money? Do they need insurance? What type of licensing do they need? What kind of certification? I bet you that 50% of home based businesses are operating without occupational licenses. Would you agree to that?

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. That probably is true.

Lauren Cohen:      Yeah. And, and not necessarily because they're trying to not do the right thing, but just because they don't know that they need a licensed operator business even from home. And so as a result, I created a system to help companies look under the hood in seven essential areas and figure out a way to scale their businesses. And being a lawyer kind of drives it, but it's not only legal, it's legal and six other areas as well. So it's kind of all about, you know, my, I have, I did recently do my soul languages, which is one of those, um, it's like an attitude assessment like this and so on. And one of my soul languages, not surprisingly, is the navigator, which means I navigate through difficult waters. And another one is all based on security and safety and making sure that everybody's secure.

Lauren Cohen:     And I don't sleep at night if my clients are not secure. So I have one client right now that I know is in big trouble and I can't do anything to change it. They don't listen to me and they're going to end up missing a very important deadline. And there's nothing I can do. And I, you know, I get physically sick because I really care about them and their welfare. And this is why I developed my system, but at the end of the day, we can only counsel our clients. We can't, they're not our children. They have to take, make their own decisions. And that's the hard part is stepping back and allowing them to have the control because we don't.

Shahara Wright:      That's true. That's true. And that is a hard part, I think a of this profession is, you know, when you're not listened to, when you can see, um, you know, the danger signs all over. But I think I've learned, um, you know, even through, I think managing my kids that, you know, there's only so much.  You know, sometimes you just have to learn the hard lessons. Um, and you, and once you learn them, you can lick your wounds and move on, but you know, you have to learn them for sure. So I tried to take that position with my clients is like, look, all I can do is tell you you're going to do what you want to do. Um, and Hey, whatever happens, you know, so, you know, how many kids do you have? More than one, right?

Lauren Cohen:     Well, I only have one.

Shahara Wright:      Okay. Okay. And so in terms of, you know, talking about, you know, moving and, um, moving here to the U.S. and becoming a citizen and having your own practice and all that kind of stuff, how do you find navigating all of that, um, with your child?

Lauren Cohen:     Challenging? Um, certainly challenging because at the end of the day he wants my attention. He's the only one. In some ways it would definitely be easier to have more than one because at least then it wouldn't always be me. You know, the dog is not really engaging in, in card games with him or monopoly. So, um, it's challenging my attention being diverted makes him demand attention in different ways, not always positive. Um, we've had a challenging few months, which I think we're finally getting on the other side of, but, um, it's, it's not easy to navigate all of the, all of the issues of life and balance them with running a business and being a mom. So the reality is it's, it's particularly challenging doing it on your own without the support of even an ex-husband, which I don't have. Um, financial support, um, emotional support, physical support, you know, being the 24/7 parent and being the 24/7 business owner, it's like you're, you're a single parents at times too, right?

Lauren Cohen:     It's almost like an oxymoron in a way. And I, I often say that it's like, you know, I've got, I've got my, my, my business, I actually have two businesses to run and then I am running my home. And it's hard to do it all on your own. And, um, I think it's important to create very strong, um, support networks and being able to reach out when you need help. So I had a bad fall at the beginning of the summer. I think you knew from Facebook and um, it's, it's hard to ask for help and then it's also hard to accept help, but if you don't accept help, like I couldn't drive, I can do anything. So I was like, okay. I just kind of gave in and said, you know what you guys are offering, I'll take it, whatever you want to bring food, I'll take it.

Lauren Cohen:     I mean, my fridge and freezer was so full, I wish they were a little bit full right now, but they were so full, they were overflowing with different food and whatever and it was great. But at least I was able to access it. And I think that we as single moms are most challenged about self-care and being able to accept that help because we don't realize you have to put the mask on yourself first. We just flew back from Toronto last week and it said, no matter who you are, put the mask on yourself first and then worry about your child. And you know, it's true. You'll have to do that because otherwise you've got nothing left to give them.

Shahara Wright:     No, that's really true. And I think, um, that's been the ongoing thing as I've interviewed and spoken to other women, um, is self-care is so important and so difficult. And I, you know, I struggle with that as well. Trying to make sure that I can, you know, get that in for myself. Um, but what kinds of things do you do to make sure that you have time for you?

Lauren Cohen:      Not enough.

Shahara Wright:      Never is.

Lauren Cohen:      Um, but it definitely, like most nights I put on some very short meditation when I'm going to sleep. So I can have really good messages in my head. I get massages. Um, I'm trying, this is, you know, it's a new Jewish year for us as of last week. And my goal this year is to really focus on self-care. And that doesn't only mean getting your nails done or getting massages, it also means looking at yourself and getting proper sleep and, you know, eating properly and taking your vitamins and not just worrying about the other people around you. Because sometimes I think that we tend to worry about that. But at the end of the day, if you, if you worry only about the people around you and not yourself, you're going to have no self to provide that. So you really, um, I think we all need to do like meditation, spiritual stuff.

Lauren Cohen:     Um, taking time out for you, um, being able to say no, which is a very big deal for me. I have trouble saying no. Um, and doing things that you want to do because it's hard for us. I you, I'm sure you share this, but I don't remember the last time that I really laughed and had a great fun time and we need to have fun because that's how we get balanced. That's how, you know, working out is critical. I love working out this morning. I didn't get a chance to work out. I had to go to services for something. So instead I walked my dog. Not quite the same, but at least I got from thing is, so you have to find what works for you. Not everybody's going to like to work out. Not, I don't like it. I just need to do it.

Lauren Cohen:      Not everybody's going to want to meditate. They might think that's weird. I do energy healing. Um, you know, I do a lot of different things. I'm going on a business cruise next week and one of the reasons I'm going on that business cruise that my energy healer is going to be on the cruise and she's promised me for, um, on the water treatments, on her specials, whatever treatment thing. And I'm like, okay, I'm there. So, um, funny. And, and I mean, I'm, it's just like, it's so important to have that balance and make sure that we look after our core being because without our being poor, we're not going to be able to produce, we're just going to be exhausted and so on.

Shahara Wright:      No, I, I really, really want that because I think one of my things this year has been really about mental health, um, and really making sure that I am, you know, mentally there, you know, that I'm not feeling this, you know, uneasy, anxious, all the time, stressed all the time, you know, worrying about, you know, whatever that's coming next or whatever. To really have some real clear mindset. Um, I'd probably use a better, even better word, you know, about what I'm doing. So yeah, the meditation, although I'm, I'm new to it and still trying to make sure that I do it on a consistent basis, which I don't do, but, um, I'm definitely trying to do better with that. I'm really talking about being in alignment, um, you know, and really making sure that I don't ingest a bunch of nonsense. So for me, one of the things that I've kind of done is saying, okay, you know, I don't want to be dealing with a whole bunch of negativity. So, you know, I've started feeling like, you know, this is just not the place then I'm out. Um, and I cut it off very, very quickly because it messes up your whole, your whole mindset, your whole balance and your energy and you're off. And I think sometimes you end up bringing that home to your kid, even if you don't intend to.

Lauren Cohen:     Um, you do. Oh, I think this is really, yeah, and as you were saying that, I was thinking to myself, like being kind to ourselves, we are not kind to ourselves necessarily. I'm not, I speak for myself, but, and, and not listening to all the voices. I think that's right in line with what you're saying. You know, Oh, you should be this or you should be that, or, Oh, why aren't you here? Or why aren't you there? Why aren't you driving this car, that car living in this house or that house? And, and you know, that's just, I mean, I live in Boca Raton, Florida. Okay. So I don't need to stress that. Um, the other thing is, you know, we can live on Facebook and, and feel like failures every day of the week and look at everybody and how wonderful their lives are and beautiful. And, you know, the next day they're getting a divorce or God forbid, something terrible has happened.

Lauren Cohen:     And the reality is that there's, it's not reality and everybody has issues. And I think that one of my big challenges over time has been comparing myself to others and not feeling like I measured up because I was, you know, let's say a single mom or I was, you know, not at the, not as senior partner at a big law firm or not senior counsel at a big company or whatever the case may be. But the reality is that everybody has their stuff. And, um, you know, we've, we, we've had our own accomplishments in our lives. Um, I've written two books, you know, and it kind of, I don't even really like, I don't promote myself as that, but the truth is, at the end of the day, these are accomplishments that we have had and we need to celebrate our accomplishments more instead of focusing on what we have in accomplished. Like, Oh, why am I single? Oh, why? Why is my kid challenging? Oh, why is this? Oh, why is that? Oh, why am I 10 pounds, 20 pounds, whatever, overweight, Oh, blah, blah, blah. Instead of being like, you know what, I'm here. I'm healthy. I'm a good mom. I'm this. I'm like, that. I'm owning the business. I'm, you know, so I think that that's super important for us is to be kind to ourselves by focusing on the positive and patting ourselves on the back because it's not easy to do this alone. And, um, yeah!

Shahara Wright:     That's so true. And I think, um, yeah, I think we probably as moms in general, we're, we're probably self-deprecating anyway. Um, but I think it does become a little bit more because you look at other people, um, and you know, maybe your same age or younger than you, and they seem like they're doing so much more. And I think about that sometimes and I think I went through that. I'm, I'm 46 now you guys that, but when I was 40, I kind of went through this period where I thought I have not accomplished as much as I thought I should have by this age. Um, and I really, it really took a toll on me, I think, because I felt like I should have been so much better, um, than what I had produced. Um, that it was very frustrating for me for a really long time.

Shahara Wright:     And what I remembered about that and talking to somebody else is that when my eldest son, um, was two, when I graduated from law school and he was a year and so I started my own like too. And when he was two, I took a, um, a CLE, a continuing legal education class for those of you that don't know. And you know, it really brought in some older attorneys and they were just talking about their experience and it was geared towards, you know, new attorneys and things like that. And, one of the guys was talking about how he really didn't spend a lot of time with his kids and one of his biggest regrets was that, you know, he didn't spend enough time with his child and that his old, now that his child was older room person, this child had resentment.

Shahara Wright:      And I couldn't even tell you what else was talked about that CLE. I mean, I'm sure that there was a whole lot, it was a whole day. So I know that other stuff,  this wasn't the only thing. But that's the thing that I still remember 20 years later and I lived my life by that, which is that I never wanted my kids and be like, where were you? Like why weren't you here? Why didn't you do this? And so the choices that I made, where does a direct result from that? And that meant admit for me that I wasn't going to make as much money. You know, that there were going to be things that I would, was going to say no to, that I couldn't work the same, you know, 60, 70 hour work weeks and you know, make all these millions of dollars that, you know, if I would've done that, I could have done it, but then it would've been a tradeoff and that was not a tradeoff I was willing to make.

Shahara Wright:      So I say all that to say is that when I look back and say, okay, yeah, I didn't really accomplish all of the things that I felt like I could have or should have or whatever else that other people had, I can honestly say that I was there. Like I was there for my kid at the PTO stuff. I was a member of the PTO. Um, you know, I went to all the soccer games and you know, the coding and all that kind of stuff. I picked up my kids, they knew I was there and that's not ever a conversation. You could have that you missed this or you weren't there. And I'm proud of that. And so I think as moms that we have to decide what the thing is most important and whatever results come from that, that we have to be okay with it.

Lauren Cohen:     Yeah, agree.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. So do you have anything like that that you really kind of felt like, okay, this is the one thing that I have to ensure that I do regardless of what happens?

Lauren Cohen:     I, I think just not missing important events at school is super critical to me. Um, yeah, I remember last year there was a, something on a Thursday morning, Thursday morning at school and I was going to speak in Dallas actually. And I left right after on the Thursday to make it to Dallas. And the event started on Tuesday. But I was like, I'm sorry, this is more important and I have to be here. And so I left the ride from school, drove to the airport and went to Dallas. So yeah, I think that's probably the, the, the nonnegotiable for me is missing these important events because, you know, I waited a long time to have children, not necessarily by choice. It's just how it happened and why did I have him if I'm not going to be there. So yeah. But I do carry a lot of guilt as well. You've got to admit that.

Shahara Wright:      I think we all do. I think we all do. I don't know that any of us don't have something that we feel like, man, you know, I could've, should've, whatever. I think that comes and goes, um, with all of us. Um, but I definitely think that just as you mentioned, that we do have to give yourself grace, um, that we're doing the best we can with what we have and be okay with it, you know? And, um, I think that that's so important. So, you know, talking about, you know, your schedule with all your speaking and working with your clients, how do you balance your schedule? How do you look at your schedule and say, okay, this is, you know, work time and this is mommy time, or do you do that?

Lauren Cohen:      I probably don't do as good a job as I should. I have the intention of doing a better job just like with meditation, you know. Um, and I try to set aside time each day, that time for my son. Um, and I do, it's just not as much time as he wants. And like last night, for example, he wanted to watch a movie and I was on the computer and I said, okay, well watch the movie. But I wasn't watching the movie. I was, I had to get something done, but he didn't really care. He was there with me. I guess. It wasn't like we were really interacting, but I felt of course guilty because I wasn't really there. I wasn't really present. Um, so I don't have an answer. I wish I did have an answer. I have an answer. But what I'd like it to look like. Um, but it doesn't exactly look like that.

Shahara Wright:     So then what's your dream? What is your dream ideal? Like, perfect scenario.

Lauren Cohen:      Oh my goodness me. That's a big question. Um, to have, well I think I need, for me it's financial freedom. It's not being tied to having to do the work. I mean I love working. I think I'm a workaholic whether by choice or by necessity, I don't know. But, um, to have the ability to make the decision about when I work and when I'm with him and where we go and when I go on a cruise to be able to actually take some time and enjoy being on that cruise. You know, next week we're going on this cruise, like I said, and it's a business cruise. So it's a balance. It's very interesting cause um, there'll be like, I think there's 25 of us going and we're all part of this, this group. Um, it's a collaborative network of professionals and we all try to help each other.

Lauren Cohen:     Um, and it's not just work stuff obviously, because we have some of our healers on there, you know, we're doing group yoga and we're doing the healing, you know, and then we're learning about like how to not take lists. And so it's, it's an interesting balance, but, um, um, I think just to be kinder to my son and be able to show him the attention that he deserves without having to be distracted all the time by all of my other demands. I think that would be ideal for me. And being able to go away on a vacation and actually take a vacation, which at the moment I don't think I'm even capable of. Never mind if I financially could do that.

Shahara Wright:      So yeah, I hear you. Um, I think that's really important. I think, um, it's kind of like one of those things where you just kind of have to figure out for you what works at the time. Um, and I think just kind of as you were talking about as being okay with whatever, wherever you are now, um, but you'll get there eventually and I think that that's the most important thing. So let's talk a little bit about your business and what you do and how you help, um, other business owners. Um, can you tell us a little bit more about what you do?

Lauren Cohen:      Sure. So first and first of all, I am still and will always be a corporate immigration lawyer, which basically means that if you have a foreign investor interested in investing in your business or you're from another country and you want to come into this country or you're looking to raise capital from foreign investors on your girl and that kind of every day of the week, that's my bread and butter. That's my core. Um, the system I developed is an assessment. I think you took it way back to her and assessment driven system where I created this algorithm, this algorithm based assessment, which scores your risk and seven areas and then they create a success plan for you, which is a blueprint for success in your business. In these seven areas. Seven risk areas include, like I said, insurance and sort of certifications and business planning and exit strategy.

Lauren Cohen:     Begin with the end in mind and um, financial and accounting and branding and marketing, most of which are not in my wheelhouse. But the beautiful thing is that I'm going to say, Hey, you're missing this. You're missing the trademark. Let's talk about what that looks like. Maybe there's an opportunity, you know, you're missing, your brand is not consistent with your messaging or your marketing or whatever. So those are the things that I'm going to see as I do the success plan. And then I come in and I basically serve as your COO with the legal background to basically help to implement the strategies we come up with in the blueprint. So, it's a nice system. It was designed for businesses in scale up mode, which basically means they're going from generally six to seven or seven to eight figures. And moving to that next level, bringing in employees.

Lauren Cohen:     I do work with many startups because obviously they need help as well. My ideal client is a turnaround client or a client seeking to exit in turn two to seven years. So a turnaround client means, you know, they've kind of hit a wall and they want to their business around or like back in pretty woman with Richard gear, which probably dates me, but that's okay. Um, coming in and, and do it playing, fix it, like fixing up the business so that you could potentially exit because you want to be able to pass due diligence. And if you don't have all your ducks in a row, you're going to get a very low valuation for your business. And my goal is to come in and help avoid that or help make sure that your valuation is, is better and that you are going to have a lucrative exit. So it's a great system and I'm happy to share with everybody that listens, especially as single moms. Use the coupon code to try the assessment and do a quick, um, a quick strategy session with me. And if you're in Texas and I'm going to refer you to Shahara to do all of the legal work, which is awesome. And that's how we work together and it's collaborative. So, there you go.

Shahara Wright:     Absolutely. So, yeah. Lauren. So, do you have any like advice or tips for other single moms, CEOs like maybe one do or don't?

Lauren Cohen:      I'm going to be featured in a book pretty soon and my seven, my nine advice kits are going to be part of my chapter in this book. Um, I've written a lot of, I wrote for Working Mother Magazine as well and there are so many advice tips. Um, one is get Amazon Prime. Okay, that's an advice tip. I am not getting a commission from them. Believe me. I wish I was um, Amazon prime to do whatever it takes to make your life simpler because it's complicated enough. You know, I like grocery shopping, but if I have to, especially when I was down on my back because I had fallen, I use those, um, Instacart or shift to deliver groceries. Um, take time for yourself and as a business owner, there are two really super important messages and I know you'll agree with them.

Lauren Cohen:     The first is stay in your lane. What does that mean? If you're not, avoid or don't try to be a lawyer, don't download documents off the internet and say, Oh look, I have a coaching agreement. Talk to a professional. I'm not doing my own accounting because that would be not a good plan. So staying in your lane means do what you do best and let others do what they do best and you don't know what you don't know and you, that's really important because you're not going to find out just by doing some research online and Googling this or Googling that. You really need to understand that you don't know what you don't know. And we as professionals are here to help you with those things. And that goes for being a mom too; because you're not going to be the expert at like the rash and the this and the that. Ask for help. There's no IMT team and we need a community. It does take a village, it takes a village to run a business and it takes a village to raise a child and we need those villages in place. And sometimes you may need to cry on somebody's shoulder and feel free to reach out to us because that's made people cry on yours next time.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's great advice. Um, thank you so much for that. So Lauren, tell everyone how they can connect with you and get in touch with if they want to do the scale up assessment or maybe they need some immigration work. How can they?

Lauren Cohen:     Sure. So you can find me everywhere. I am particularly active on LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/company/e-council-inc./ and of course my name Lauren Cohen https://www.linkedin.com/in/ecouncilinc/ .

I'm in South Florida, it’s West Palm beach cause that's the region. Um, on Facebook I have several Facebook groups, but you can also find new Lauren Cohen. Um, and I think there's a picture of me and with my son at this point. Um, I do tons of podcasts like this. I love doing podcasts. And you can find me at http://www.scaleupcheckups.com/money. Now the assessment is a little complicated to give you the coupon code. So if you just reach out to me, um, you can use lauren@scaleupcheckup.com or even my personal email, LaurenEsq@gmail.com  And if for some reason you don't see the coupon code that Shahara shares with you, I'm happy to give you the coupon code to try the assessment as well. Um, so there's all kinds of ways, and if you are a global business owner or seeking to be one, um, I have a special quiz for you and it's called http://www.globalbizquiz.com just like it sounds and at that URL you'll see the quiz right there and I'll be happy to help you with that too.

Shahara Wright:     Awesome. And we'll make sure that we have all the links available for you guys so that you don't have to kill on or keep replaying so you can catch everything, all the links for you. So thanks for being on Lauren. I really always enjoy our conversations, always good. Um, and so I appreciate you.

Lauren Cohen:      Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day. And for those that celebrate the Jewish new year. I wish you an easy, fast if you do see this. Thank you.

Shahara Wright:     All right guys. I'll see you guys next to me. Thank you. Bye bye.

 
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How I turned my community into my business while raising three boys (and one with ADHD)!

12/9/2019

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Divorced, single mother of three young men 23, 21 and 18.
Born in Tampa, FL to two awesome parents before being planted in Virginia, thanks to military orders for her father. Currently residing in Woodbridge, VA, aka “The DMV.”

Married 10 years prior to becoming a single parent. A challenge that turned into an incredible journey. A career in corporate America, while other gifts were being cultivated and put to work. Often called a hustle. However, blessed to have turned it into a lifestyle worth living. One that allowed her to be everywhere she needed to be for her “three Kings.”

Outreach, entrepreneurship, mentoring single mothers, teaching and being a resource to the community. Her passion to serve has shown up in all that she has shared over the 18 years and everywhere she goes.  She is a wealth of information and life hacks are her specialty. Problems all but run from her. The challenges that come with single motherhood, somehow, are neutralized by way of many unspoken resources. She has a very unique way of solving what would be some most difficult situations. It’s simply resourcefulness as you’ve never known it.

She a woman with a testimony, having lost her mother two months after being married, and her father two years later, and then being left by her husband at seven months pregnant, with two little boys, and the 3rd to be delivered very soon. WHEW, it was tough! Much to be angry and bitter about. But God!

Faith, perseverance, determination and the Spirit of the Lord have brought her HERE! A minister of the Gospel indeed and speaker with a gift of rapport that wreaks of connection, strength, and wisdom. A lover of all humanity and a serial optimist.
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https://www.facebook.com/SingledLoutLoud101/
http://www.bit.ly/SingeMotherSupperstars ​​


SINGLE MOM CEO
DIETRA JONES
EPISODE 5 TRANSCRIBED

Shahara Wright:     Hi everyone, welcome to Single Mom CEO. I'm so excited today as I am. Every time I speak to these amazing women, single moms who are owning their own business and doing their own thing today I have Dietra Jones and I'm really excited to have her here. Um, not only is she one of my friends, um, we met last year, but she's also a single mom. We share so much in common and so I really, she was like one of the first people I said, you know, Hey, can you please be a part of this show because you have so much good stuff to share. Um, so thank you so much for being here Dietra!

Dietra Jones:     Yes, thank you. You're so welcome. I'm so glad to be here. I'm excited. Like you are, you know, stay as exciting, different ventures, so, so glad to be here. Thank you for having me.

Shahara Wright:     Okay, so tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do. 

Dietra Jones:      ​
I'm just giving some background. Okay, well, I am Dietra Jones. I live in the DC Metro area. I am the divorce mom of now three young men. They are 23, 21 and now 18 years old. Um, I have, yes, yes, I'm free. So I have 30 plus years of corporate America experience because I was an executive assistant, uh, long before I got married and had my sons. But then once I did, once I found out I was going to be a single mom, nine 11 happened when I had a newborn baby. I thought, you know what? I don't want to be in corporate America anymore. My son's playing sports. I need to be available to them. And my parents are deceased as well. So I had quite a challenge on my hands with kids five and under. So long story short, I walked off my job after six years at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals with the mortgage and three little kids.

Dietra Jones:     I just knew what I was going to do and I knew that God did not create me to be on a job where I have to ask permission to take care of my children and to be the mother that God called me to be. So I left. And so I've done so many things over these last 18 solid years without support, right? Single handed. But I'm going to tell you, God put some great rest and fun in here. And he gave me people like Shahara right. To meet and to collaborate with that could give me some encouragement in my heart that we could work together and make things happen. So I've made all kinds of things happen. Well, nobody's 18 years old, I can almost sell tickets to this experience. So I'm just glad to be able to share it and that's why I'm here today.

Shahara Wright:      Yay. I'm so glad. So yes. So Dietra and I met at a conference last year and you know, we just happened to sit next to each other. Um, kind of during the downtime where everybody was like a bunch of people sitting together and we were just talking and then we realized as we were talking about stuff, you had a lot of, we were both single moms. We both have boys with ADHD. We both run our own business. And so, and we both, you know, really had a passion to help other single mothers. Um, and so, you know, we connected over that. And for me, one of the things I remember talking about is trying to figure out like what I was really excited about. Like what I really, you know, wanted to and talk about. And there's a lot of different things, but one of the things, you know, we'll notice that, you know, I talk about my kids and that, you know, how I set my schedule and my time and I think that's how we ended up really connecting. And so from your perspective, what was that thing that said, okay, I want to do this thing, I want to do this particular business?

Dietra Jones:     Well, I mean for me it had to start with e-commerce because I had $325 that I had to pay a week for childcare. So that's where it started with me. And I knew, you know, I had sold things online before, you know, I was really an entrepreneur in the background. So I start selling stuff online. And so once I did that, it just spawned from there in 2013 when I started selling on eBay. And Amazon, it was the way that I could be at home. And so many of us, we just want to be home more. You know, you have to do dinner, but yet you don't have any money, so how are you going to make this money? So that's what really catapulted me into it because I needed to start making money right away and I wanted other mothers to learn how to do this without being under pressure or being super mad and angry all the time because it gets spilled over onto our children.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah, that's true. And,  I don't know that we really kind of explained exactly what you do. So Dietra, you're with Singled Out Loud and what does Singled Out Loud do?

Dietra Jones:     Well, Singled Out Loud came to me because I used to launch all types of things in ministry because I was in ministry for 15 years. So everything that I did, I always started under the church. And then when I went to this women's conference, a businesswoman from the Washington Business Center pulled me aside and said, why? She said, it's great that you do ministry, but you need to pull your own self out from under this and brand yourself because any event that you leave, you can't take any of this stuff cause it's not branded under your name. So like three weeks later, God drops Singled Out Loud in my lap and I have grown to love it because still it out loud is something God does. For one thing. My heart is turned totally toward God. And so when he singles you out, it will seem like a crisis to you.

Dietra Jones:     But really, he's stretching and growing you. So I wanted people to be able to live a balanced lifestyle because I was also in the music industry. So being able to not be on the hell express, people always try to put you on, okay, you can live your life. Go to jazz concerts, having a glass of wine, just not be drunk with wine. Okay, so singled out loud is a lifestyle worth living because when you bring God glory and your heart is turned towards serving people, the blessings will come and roll your way. So was Singled Out Loud. I help people reinforce their faith. I show them what a faith walk looks like when you're transparent because I'm not for hiding things. I want to live so that people can see that God is more believable and that it is workable and doable. So that's what singled out loud as about bringing people together. God is behind it all. Whether it's retreats, things that you do with your children as a single parent because you often think you can't afford something or that you don't have the time. No, I'm going to show you how to do all of those things and bring it all together while you're at peace.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, and I think that's important and I think especially for single moms, um, well while there are a lot of single mothers, um, you know, you, you realize that they're, they're single, they're moms, single moms out there. I think you don't really have real support groups. You know, we don't really have a true network of people that we rely upon and get help from. Um, because we're all kind of in the rat race kind of. It always seems. And so to me, I think it's important that we learn how to support each other and find ways to do that. And so I like what you do because you've definitely made sure that these moms are so alone and by themselves.

Dietra Jones:     And I absolutely love doing that. It's, that's where the burning is in my heart because I see so many frustrated single mothers out here. They're so frustrated and they're so mad all the time. And I'm always cheerful. I'm always being silly. No matter how bad it is, we are going to have, we don't pull some fun out of this thing. We're going to have some fun and we're going to also make a lot of things free. So we're going to show you how it's workable because a lot of times we're pulled in so many different directions and money is always the number one. But I'm a yeah, we can do it.

Shahara Wright:    Absolutely. Absolutely. So one of the things I know, I know about you and you also said about, is that how you became divorced, um, when your kids were young, you had three kids decided to start your own business. Did you think about in terms of balancing your business, growing your business with having your kids?

Dietra Jones:      Well, for me, I, I found something that goes along with it and it was the great outdoors and adventures. So I put together these, these adventures, family camp, house and camp grounds, um, putting together universal circuits. I always got people to bring their kids out and then our children became a marketing piece. So that allowed me to be able to get us covered because we need to do group sales and group tickets and group happenings. You save a lot of money. And I was able to pass that on to some mothers that couldn't possibly afford to do it. Or if they had six kids, I paid for three. And then people began to give me money and say, do you try, I know you're blessed. You dog on, right? Cause we're going places and we're going to have fun. Hey, everybody goes to work, everybody's got doctor's appointments. No, we're going to have fun with this money, so let's do it. So trying to bring my kids where I didn't need to find a babysitter for me to go out and find a part time job, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to for me to be able to spend more time with them. So that's all I thought about was things that I could do that would include my kids, that would also generate revenue behind it.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, I think that's really important. And I think, um, for, for all of us, you know, we think about what can we do, um, work around that only our schedule but our kid's schedule. I think that's really important, especially in terms of business. So as your boys were growing up, did they understand what you did was a business and your lifestyle?

Dietra Jones:      I don't think they did the beginning because I had a five year old, a three year old and a brand new baby. So they were so little. But when I did things, I walked them through transactions and I made it fun for them. So they didn't know what they were getting, but I knew what foundation I was lying and I was showing them how on Wednesdays before I went to Bible study, I used to do mystery shopping. We used to go to five guys and they'd go check the guys bathroom and come back and say, Oh mommy, the bathroom is really clean. They didn't know what they were doing, but I'd have them on a mission hunting and then our fruit would be free because I would just be simply doing these surveys so we got to eat free. Before we went to Bible study, they got in on, it felt like they were helping mommy. And so as I got older, I opened their bank accounts for them and I was showing them and talking to them while I was doing things. So, needless to say, they'd go and invite all their friends and I would start way ahead of time so the parents can pay little by little whatever you can pay. And everybody ended up being able to go. That's why my seven passenger van always had nine kids in it. It was everybody.

Shahara Wright:     Right, right. And that sounds like so much fun. So I wanted to kind of pivot a little bit because I wanted to talk to you about having a child with ADHD. Now, how old is your ADHD son?

Dietra Jones:     He's 21.  Just turned 21 in September.

Shahara Wright:     So mine is 11. Um, and I think that this is an important issue. One because I think a lot of times, especially in our community, um, ADHD is so misunderstood. Um, and it's not, um, kind of seeing something that should can seriously, um, and so, and especially with your son being, um, 21, I'm sure that the time that you realize there's something going on, there probably wasn't a lot of help around. And just tell me in terms of diagnosis and when you kind of realize, Hey, you know, we need help with, what were you going through and what were you dealing with in terms of doing that?

Dietra Jones:    Well, the first thing is, I mean I worked at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals, so Conserta is an ADHD drug. So I was very familiar with drug therapy and I was really against it. So it took me two years to even decide to try it because I just didn't, I'm anti-drug, I totally am. I mean I really am. And so when they said that, I said, Oh no, the devil is a liar because I can, I don't have this problem with him at home. And so when they were telling me this and they kept giving him an IEP at school and they even tried to put it on my other son too, but he was always an antagonist. That's how I saw. But of course I never said these words to him, but as a parent, you know, you can use whatever words you want in your head.

Dietra Jones:      He's such an antagonist. So early on, I will always give him, and he's a middle child too, that may have something to do with it, but his focus was so short. So I would, I would give him activities and he was always fiercely competitive too, because he's always envious. And so I let him, I was like, I bet you can't pick up as many toys as Devin. I bet you can't pick as many as Donovan. Set him off on all these different missions and he felt wouldn't special cause he was like, I'll beat you. I beat you. Right. But the room's cleaned up. So that's all I cared about. You know what I mean? I'd sent him on, go get me this and then he finds things. So, I mean, but at school, he was, I had, I swear I repeated the eighth grade. I was at school in classes every day I was there.

Dietra Jones:     And so, um, I tried him on Conserta, but you know what, it made him like a schizophrenic. Um, and so I knew drugs right away and I mean, he'd be scared, he'd be hearing noises. So I said, I don't need, I don't need a doctor telling me he's off of that. What else can we try? Right. So, but he was so agitated, then he didn't eat and I mean he would just be, um, you know, insecurity to about within himself. So all of these things, anxiety that goes along with having ADHD because they're looking around, they're comparing themselves to people. So he got on Adderall finally. And so he calmed down some, but then he started saying he didn't like the way itself, but that's great for you to say that, but now you're going to have to tell mommy what that means. Yeah. So he was on it for a little while and I wouldn't give it to him on the weekends and they would say, well, you have to, because his levels, I was like, listen, that's a level that y'all have a problem with.

Dietra Jones:     I don't give it to him on the weekends cause I don't have a problem at home, but I'm not fighting my son. I can control him, you know? So, but he was wanting for a little while and then I decided I'm going to take them completely off of it and just work with him and it was with his IEP and I finally got to some teachers who understood, because I put him in an all boys' program. It was a coed school, but they were trying this pilot program with all these teachers were males and that worked. Yeah, work. They had basketball hoops in the class. The kids, if they felt at, you know, like they wanted to get up, they could get up and go do stuff that was productive. Right. So that's how I ended up taking him off of it because it can really, it's really such a delicate balance, so you really have to be on top of it completely and it works differently for each child.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's true. I think that's the important thing. And my son, my son is on medication. He's on Adderall as well and it has worked. I was lucky. I think we were very blessed that we did not have to go through a whole bunch of changes in terms of medication, really managing the dosage now like it, but he says it doesn't make any difference, which I is clearly not true.  I could definitely tell the difference between him on meds and not meds, but they're accurate too. Um, but for me, you know, one of the things that happened with my son when we got him diagnosed, he was at six and he was going to first grade and he like from private school to, um, to a public school. And I noticed in private school when he was in kindergarten, actually before then, I had started kind of saying something is not right. Oh, rambunctiousness for a little boy. And I have, so, you know, I was like, this is, this is a whole different kind of thing.

Shahara Wright:     Um, and so when he got to first grade it was, Oh my gosh, he was having the worst time teacher was like, you know, can he even hold the scissors? Does he know how to write? I mean basic stuff that he clearly knew how to do, but he was so overwhelmed because students were much more, the pace was faster, you know, adjust. And so I'm hastened, um, to get him diagnosed and get him, you know. And that even took some time and I think one of my best friends, her daughter has ADHD and she kinda helped me through the process, was not getting any assistance from anybody else. And so we were very lucky in that sense. But I say all that to say that in that process, you do spend a lot of time, you know, away from your business, you're up at the school.

Shahara Wright:     And so how are you managing, trying to run your business through all the lack of, for lack of a better word, drama, having to deal with, to be able to care for your son.

Dietra Jones:      I mean, do you really want to know I'm thankful that I'm a high energy system because I was up all night. I mean, I be pulling all nighters and it was so amazing and funny all the one hand because my son told his mentor, he seems concerned about me. He goes, I don't think my mom ever sleeps. He goes, when I go to bed, she's awake. And when I wake up, she's awake. And so I laughed at that. But he was so concerned that I was never getting any sleep. So that's why I had this thing called after nine is my time because the house was silent between 8:45 and 9:00 PM there were no voices spoken at all. Even as they got older, after nine was my time.

Dietra Jones:      And if you don't to be at the hospital or me to be in jail or, or you're talking to me because I wouldn't mind listing things online to sell during my drop shipping business and all that stuff behind that. And that's how I did it. I would be up all night because in the daytime, I mean, I still need like a cat nap, like you two to four or something like that. But I was in, sometimes day's ran together, but as long as I got those appointments done and got them with their homework done and I could cook my meals on Sundays, I had like restaurant day and I organize my time cooking for the week on Sunday cause I never knew what might happen. Cause remember I didn't have anybody except me. So whatever came up I had to handle it all.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's really important. Especially having a schedule. I know for one of the things that I do in terms of that is, you know, my clients all know that I have kids and they all know like, you know, I pick up and drop off my son. I'm like all my kids, all my clients know that. Right. You know, this is the time I have the work between this time and this time. And if you make it happen in between these times, you wait till the next day. So it's a big condition to understand like I'm this. Even, you know, [my clients] are like, Oh I know you were dropping off your son off.  I waited until I know I can get you. And I was like, okay, yeah, you know, you have to block that time off. I definitely think that you have to ensure, um, that you keep a tight schedule and it makes sure that people are clear about your time, whether it's your kids, whether it's, um, you know, your clients or whomever.

Shahara Wright:    With that, I think keeping that tight schedule, um, helps you, um, ensure that you are able to, you know, consistently, you know, be good at whatever it is that you're doing. So I wanted to kind of move into that, you know, between, you know, kids and the world. I think a lot of conversation with the moms that I've had so far is really trying to find that on the time, um, times where you just have, for you to relax until you not worried about worried about your kids or whatever. So what did you do to find the time?

Dietra Jones:     Well, I had a heck of a support network and a village. I mean extraordinary because between my neighbors that were next door and we all knew each other from as you were pregnant having our children. And I had people who could either go by, check on my sons or I would set up play dates. But remember I had three and it, remember Demetrius was the ADHD kid so you couldn't just send him anywhere because the next thing you know your kids will be arguing. Everybody was fine until Demetrius came. Okay be careful. He would pretty much go somewhere to his own friend's house cause he tried to share friends that didn't work. It's like boy, come on. No, no. So getting a network is when you're a single mom, especially if you have limited family support. And I did because my parents were deceased and my brother was out of the country.

Dietra Jones:     So set up an incredible, and that's what I did. I wouldn't, I would see when something's that would show, do I want to go to who else wants to go? Then I'd have my kids place at these places with people that I absolutely could even turn my phone off because these are people who knew they could be Dietra Jones if I'm not there and something goes down, do whatever you would do. Cause they know me that well and so that was so important and precious to me and that's what I did. I would find something I wanted to do, but you know, sometimes, I mean, if you can work it in last minute that's cool. And sometimes I could, you know, I also had a good relationship with their dad so I would also like to find time to go away maybe like every three or four months. I might go somewhere for a weekend and he honestly would come to our house cause he didn't have his own and watch the guys while I was gone because he wanted them to be in their own space. So I would say maintaining an amicable relationship with the noncustodial parent nomad. This woman said, it's really important no matter what they are doing. Get your understanding so they can come and, pretend for about two or three days and you go and do whatever you're going do, do it.

Dietra Jones:     Get away, get your time in. Amen. Hallelujah. That's fine. But can you pretend on the weekend of such, right, right. Yeah. Just, just for these two days. Hold it. Now thinking about that, you know what, I guess other advice, I mean, do you have any do's or don'ts in terms of running your own business and being in a single mom? Um, for other women out there? The most important thing and the worst thing that you can do is to start doing something that you hate. Just for the money. There's no such thing as just for the money. You're going to catch hell, okay. It's going to be in one area or another. Do not do, I don't care what everybody else is doing. Do what you love to do and the money will come. I promise you, every single passion that I have that God has given me execute and it comes with it.

Dietra Jones:     Right? That's what I'm saying. Find what you like and talk to other mothers and don't be MDs. Okay? That's one thing. Don't do that. Genuinely have your heart clear. Talk to people because you'll get a lot of information. I call her recon, Kathy, your eyes and your ears and your mind open, right? Because you have to create one. If there is no opportunity, create one, right? Be afraid, never want opposition. It just doesn't matter. Other people don't. They won't comprehend your skill level on the angle that you're coming from. It's okay. Do it. Do it. And don't be afraid. Find people like me to support you. And Orthodox is only certain people. I'll be like, Shahara girl, this sounds crazy, but I don't have the time. No one else needs to understand. Long as you got your front-line people talk to them and ignore the rest of them.

Shahara Wright:      Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much for that. So Dietra why don't you tell us how we can contact you, um, how we can buy from you. How can we support you and your business?


Dietra Jones:    Well, you can find me at singled out loud on every platform Singled Out because God singled me out and out loud, loud testimony that they won't be able to ignore them. I'm on every platform, whether it's Instagram, Facebook, my name is Deirdre Jones. I have begun scoping again on Periscope. You can find me there. You can also, yeah, you can also go to http://www.bit.ly/SingeMotherSupperstars. That's what it stands for because I show single mothers how to become something that you call brand ambassadors. The people that you see that agreeing you when you come in the stores. Please understand that we are making $22 an hour. And it's funny because people have said, Oh it's so nice of you to volunteer. I'm like, no, but I don't have to explain it. Remember, we don't have to explain.

Dietra Jones:     So I show you how to like the other weekend I didn't have to ask her. I mean there's so many opportunities that you can get out and remember we're single. Hello? Yes. Get out, meet people, feel productive. Get a check and be able to support your family. So yes, the intra Jones and singled out loud anywhere and I gave you the link, but when you inbox me on any of those platforms, I'm here for your support. Let's do this and we can with dignity and respect. We don't have to compromise our characters or our bodies. Y'all don't believe. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you so much.

Shahara Wright:     Sure. I always love talking to you. I'm so glad that you were able to come here and to share you guys and make sure you reach out to the teacher. We'll have all the links and stuff available as well. If you want to hear more about Single Mom CEO. Then you can find this on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/shaharawright. That's my name. Shahara Wright.

​We also have a Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSucccess. And so you can find us at all of these places. Connect with us here more. You have more great women coming. So thank you and I look forward to seeing you next time. Bye bye.
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How making time for myself helps me to support my daughter with Autism

11/25/2019

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Nichole Wilson is a certified sign language interpreter who currently resides in Pearland, Texas.  She is a graduate of Northeastern University in Boston Massachusetts with a Master’s degree in Leadership/Nonprofit Management.  She is also currently working on a second Master’s degree in Communications.  Nichole is a single mother to a beautiful, vibrant daughter named Zeni’ Alyn who was diagnosed with autism at the age of three.  Every Wednesday in her private group, Autism Moms Are Beautiful with Nichole Wilson she does free giveaways for the moms.  AMAB Magazine page on Facebook reaches over 400,000 people monthly.

Nichole believes in encouraging Autism Moms.   Nichole created an anthem song entitled, Autism Moms Rock , which currently has over 62,000 views on Facebook.   This music video featured Autism Moms and their children on the spectrum to bring awareness. Nichole has performed, Autism Moms Rock at various events including the Special Moms Dinner November 2018, Safe Diversity and was honored by Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee,  July 2, 2019.   Nichole presented a great testimony at the AMAB Award Ceremony on March 17, 2019 at the Bisong Gallery.  Nichole presented  Autism Moms Are Beautiful at the Alvin ISD conference for disabilities in April 2018.  Nichole presented the first AMAB Award Ceremony at the Houston Museum of African American Culture on April 22, 2018 and is excited to present the 2nd annual AMAB Award Ceremony on Sunday, March 17, 2019 at the Bisong Gallery.  All winners received an award.  The winners also received a certificate from Sylvester Turner (Mayor of the City of Houston).  Nichole also completed sessions with Dr. Ali Griffith who is an Autism Mom and Business Coach.  Nichole supports the various organizations around the Houston area including Special Moms where she was the Guest Speaker on February 22, 2019.  Nichole will also be the Guest Speaker for “Out of the Blue” with artist Joseph Dixon who works for Avondale House painting the beautiful faces of children with Autism.  Nichole is a single mom who will sit on the panel for “Single Mom’s Empowerment Conference”, which will be held on Saturday March 30, 2019 and she was also the Keynote Speaker at Beyond the Walk on Saturday April 27, 2019.

Nichole has served on the committee for The Alzheimer's Association in 2017.  Nichole was also on the committee for Ready Women Inc. in 2016 and 2017.  Nichole is currently on the Friends and Family Board for Avondale House.  Throughout her time spent working on the committee of Ready Women Inc.,  Nichole has learned the value of staying positive and handling oneself with poise.  Nichole, who strongly believes in giving back to the community, is the founder of Autism Moms Are Beautiful and the Editor-in-Chief of AMAB Magazine.

SINGLE MOM CEO
NICHOLE WILSON
EPISODE 4 TRANSCRIBED

Shahara Wright:      Hi everyone. Welcome to the Single Mom CEO. This is the show for single moms who run businesses full time today. I want to welcome, uh, Nichole Wilson. I'm with Autism moms are beautiful and MAAB Magazine. So thank you Nichole. Thank you so much for being here.

Nichole Wilson:      It's good to be here. It's great. It's great to do this. I'm so excited.

Shahara Wright:      This is a new series.  I'm really excited about it because this is something that's been close to my heart for a really long time as a full time business owner, um, and single mom, and I've been doing this for 20 years, that I understand that unique differences between being a single mom, running a full time business and having all these different things that come together. And I think there's just not enough of us that get to talk about our experiences and what we go through, the ups and downs, the good, the bad, the ugly, and all of that. So that's really what this show is about. And I really wanted Nichole here today because I think that what she does, number one is amazing, but to how she does it is also amazing. So I really wanted to show people how we can, um, be successful no matter all the challenges that we face in life and, and, and go through. And Nichole is one of those things, one of those people who understands those thing. So Nichole, do you mind just giving us a brief introduction about yourself and what you do in your business?

Nichole Wilson:     Sure. As she stated, I'm Nichole Wilson. I have a daughter who is on the autism spectrum. So that's the reason why I created autism. Mom's a beautiful, which is a group of mothers that we just get together. We uplift, encourage free wheat, free giveaways every week on our private Facebook page. And then our magazine, we interview autism moms and put them on the cover of the magazine and tell their story. We also interview other people in the community via celebrities or just local individuals who just want to encourage the moms to not give up on their dreams, including the dads as well.

Shahara Wright:     Awesome. So what made you start this business?

Nichole Wilson:      Well, as an autism mom, it's just so different. When you give birth to a kid and you, you know something's different, you don't, you can't put your finger on it, but you never pinpointed as autism. And then once that happens, it's like what you know, and then all these things are going in your head because you start realizing, Oh wow, this is what I have to realize. Okay, so this child may not be able to do this. I'm going to be able to do that or can't keep up. Oh my goodness. That means my child might not be in regular ed classes. Maybe there's all these things that go on. We set you in a state of depression because it depends on what's going on with your kid. It could be depression. I mean, it could be meltdowns where you have behaviors or you may not, but it's just a whole different feeling that you have.

Nichole Wilson:     And so I know what it felt like. So I decided, you know, maybe I should come up with something to where these moms can communicate with each other. And if you ever reach out and say, Oh, you know what, that was my store. Let me talk to you. If they have questions, let me speak to you. I remembered that some of these moms are single, some of these moms are not. Some of these moms are married and still single, you know, so it's a lot that they still need to depend on that support system of other autism moms.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, I totally get that. Um, and I, I feel you in terms of wanting to create a group for people who understand what you're going through and you know, can they share those experiences because you need that. I wanted to know from your perspective and when you found out that your daughter had autism, you know, what led you, well, let me back up. Did you start this business as soon after you had your daughter? So what made you feel like you could, you know, balance the two, um, having her and being and being a single mom and having this business?

Nichole Wilson:     Well, I didn't create it right off once she was born. My actual creating the group and creating the magazine. This didn't come about to the end of 2017 so that means she was probably nine years old at the time. So all the hard work that I had to do to decrease meltdowns, to decrease a lot of her behaviors, to battle with school districts of the schools on getting her this and that. It came to a point where the, the low was lightened. So that's when I was able to do it. But I don't believe that I would have been able to do it during the stages of H five through eight Oh four through eight. I don't think I was.

Shahara Wright:      I totally get it. Um, and so what do you think in terms of raising your daughter on the autism spectrum and just, you know, like you said, all the things that you had to go through, how do you find, you know, the ability or do you really, um, to kind of balance all of the things that you have to do, um, in terms of raising her and running your business?

Nichole Wilson:     Well, the, the key that I find with, with many of us as we don't have a great support system because having a child on the spectrum is a different child. So if you're so used to go into family outings and family parties and everyone's kids are over there and mingling and congregating together and laughing at the age of two and three and yours is over to the right, you know, sticking a pen into the wall, trying to figure out why it's not going through, then you also start to have to deal with that. Whereas what's wrong with him or you know, you need to, you just need the spank them or you just spank her and then so you've kind of ostracized. So for, for me, my family is real supportive. So that's another reason why I'm able to balance a lot. You know, I didn't get sleep for many, many years and my parents retired early to take her back and forth to school.

Nichole Wilson:     They, um, keep her maybe one or two nights a week for me to get sleep and things like that. So that's something that I have, but many of autism moms and, you know, I'm not judging, saying 90% I want to give a percentage, but there is a lot that don't have that. They get no break at all. So that's where you get into the depression. So those moms that don't get breaks, that's the reason why I created the group to just make them laugh all day long. And no, just to let them know that I care, you know? But that's the way I've been able to balance it is because of having a support system. And of course she gets respite care now because there's a waiting list, her name on the list. So she gets that. But that wasn't always available either, you know? So yeah. So it's just, it's different things that I, that I get to balance it. But if I, if I was someone that did not have that, I really can't say it'd be easy to do what I'm doing. And that's just the honest truth about it.

Shahara Wright:     No, I, I totally understand what you're saying and I really feel you about those meltdowns. Um, because my son has ADHD, that is a thing. Um, for real. Um, and managing that, um, I think really helps manage your own stress. Um, so I, I, I definitely felt you like in my soul. Lots of, um, things.

Nichole Wilson:     Yes. Oh my goodness. And it's, it's different. You know, it's just different. And you know, a lot of times having children with autism and ADHD, if you've never had patience, you have it now you don't have a choice. But to have it people say, Oh no, no, no. I'm like, okay, whatever. You have one and you're going to find out just how your word you're sticking it. You know, I sent this, that doesn't really work in the situation. It's a training that you have to do to get them to understand what that write off like we had, we were young and mom was like, don't do this, you know? No, yeah, I agree. 

Shahara Wright:     Okay. Um, yeah, you know, you can't really have those kinds of conversations in the spankings and you know, the normal discipline that you would, um, just don't work. And I have an older son who's not ADHD and how I dealt with him and how I deal with the youngest one is this like, you know, night and day because I cannot deal with him in the same way. I can't see him in the same way. So it really made me change. And I had my son when I was older, my youngest son when I was older, 35, so, you know, talking about a level of trying to change their spots.

Nichole Wilson:     I just think I had none. I was selfish all day. Um, so I had to give up on that years ago. I was like, well, it don't matter what I think. So let me just . . .

Shahara Wright:      I totally get that. So, you know, thinking about that and understanding like how you have to manage, you know, your daughter and everything like that, how do you build your business? Um, I, I want to say around, but that may not be the right word, you know, managing your daughter. How are you building your business?

Nichole Wilson:     Well, the way I actually kind of do my stuff is I had to train her to allow me to work, you know, whereas you know the interruptions and all of that. So I had to start training her to understand that this is what I'm doing right now. But the way I started doing that, as I always say, okay she has been doing good for two or three days, well allow me to do what I gotta do. She loves to go to the bookstore. So I'll go take her to the bookstore probably on day four get our book and then we'll walk around and then we'll go to the store she loves to go to. So she goes to the store. So something, I want him to get home sometimes at eight 30 and up working. But I know that she likes to stay up with me cause she's nosy and so she goes to bed at like 10 30 11 so around that time is when I'm working where she's right there with me.

Nichole Wilson:     You know, if we're, if we're on the weekend together, I know she loves to go to the movies. So I get up in the morning, take her to the bookstore, then we go to the movies, or if there's any other party for her, go to the movies. And then once we get back home, she knows I need to work. But that's because it took me about two months to train her with that, by teaching her, Hey, you do good for me. This what we're going to do. I just need you to let me do what I gotta do. Oh, that's what we do. Then of course when I'm working, I can tell them when she doesn't want me to do that and it's like, hello and I have to just close a computer and that could be a five o'clock and then I just have to pick it back up at 10 and do it when she goes to bed.​
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Shahara Wright:     Yeah, I totally understand that. And I, and I think, um, you know, you kind of sometimes, you know, as moms, we manage our business around our kids or we run into kids around our business, you know, us and I think, um, that idea or that principle about how you're going to do it really kind of starts from the beginning. But with my eldest son, when I started my business, you know, I had thought about making sure that I had the freedom to be able to go around to, you know, his school when I needed to, to be a veteran, you know, things like that, which kind of also made me make less money. Of course, as you know, you miss out on business and things like that. So do you feel like sometimes you know, you are missing out on things because your schedule won't allow you to do kind of all the things that you want to do?

Nichole Wilson:    Well, what I have to start doing was just really realizing that there could be 20 activities going on for that mom and I need to learn this, I need to learn that. And I just balanced it, you know, with, with, with my daughter being 11 years old, even in my private group people are like wow that's how you work with her. A lot of stuff I didn't get training on a lot of stuff was, you know, I'm just going to feel her out and learn her and then we're going to try to figure this out. But for things that I know that I want to attend, I go with myself at two or three things and I just narrowed down which of that it's just more important. Out of the 10 things I'm invited to are the 10 things where I'm thinking I can go network cause I started thinking to myself like Hey bring in more autism moms for my, my, my group and my magazine and they go out there and do it for me so I don't have to always go because they're wearing the tee shirt, Hey, Oh blah blah blah, here's the car and everything.

Nichole Wilson:      That's kind of what I have cause we have a committee. So with that committee comes with, Hey, when I'm out and they can have their own organization, that's fine. I actually work. I actually make sure people know about theirs too. It's not just knowing about mine. So that's kind of how I get out of getting to go to so many places to meet and network. And now that I've kind of gotten a lot of attention now a lot of times I don't have to go to a lot of places because somebody knows somebody that's in the group or on the committee and everything. So I don't have to worry about a lot of that. But I definitely don't want to go to everything and I'll make it there. So I can't make everything. I'm tired. Here's the three things that we can make, you know, that includes activities with my daughter. So maybe three things for me that I need to learn, but then I'm always making sure she's going to stuff, but she don't like a lot of stuff. Show up. I don't like sports and like none of that. So I think for her as a bookstore and, uh, the movies, but now we're going to start going into a little bit more social skills where she don't handle a choice. Now she's working on that part of her life now. 

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, I, I get that. I really, and so like, well I know one of the questions, so just for everybody's, you know, knowledge, when I, when I pick people to M P a part of this and they sign up, I always ask them like, one is one of the major struggles that you have as being a mom and a CEO. And one of the things you said is me time, which I totally get right. So, um, I just wanted to know how do you, or do you really find me time and what does that mean Tom look like for you?

Nichole Wilson:     Well, you know, I'm a very goofy person. I had to start learning, you know, that, you know, if everything is just, I don't know, as you get older, you know, you want the companionship, but you don't want companionship from anybody, you know? And what I had to learn was that having a child with autism and having the me time that I need, is it beneficial for me with this personal or beneficial for that person or is it beneficial for just me to just do me and I'm real content. We are going to a movie. Let me tell you when, when I need to have mommy time and she drives me up the wall, I will go to a liquor store and I will go get a little baby bottle Jack Daniels or it could be gentle and I probably have seen the movie already.

Nichole Wilson:      What is the fact that it starts at the right time? I go right up in there and I'll go buy a Coke if I feel like spending $4 or if I feel like being cheap, I'll go bring my cup, you know, I don't care. I'll bring my cup in there and yeah, y'all can see me cause I know where my cup and bring my soda in there and that's it. I don't care about the movie, I just care about the fact that it's dark, it's quiet. And I just fall asleep. Sometimes I, you know, that's me. I exercise sometimes here and the other because I was like I should, but exercise, you know, according to what works for me, I had to learn that I love going to plays. I loved going to theater, I loved going to that. So if I could balance that into my life probably once a month, once every two months instead of me saying to myself, this is what I did before her and I should be able to do this like I used to.

​Nichole Wilson:     You have to get out of that. You have to go, okay, if I make one play a month or if I make one concert every two months and I'm good because I'm going to go right up the street to this movie for $5 and I'm going to sit right up in here on my little Jack port in there and I'm relaxed. So it's kind of like I have, I work with autism moms and explained to them that your past me time, you may not get three hours, you may only get one if you put your child to bed for 45 minutes, figure out how to just sit. Even if you have to breathe for 45 minutes, but you have to have it. Because if you don't have it, you're gonna lose, lose your head. But that's how I had learned to do my me time.

Nichole Wilson:     You know, it's not always about partying. It's always about going over to the latest thing. Sometime it's just about going somewhere or you ain't gotta worry about a talking to you cause I didn't wanna talk to you to move this thing. I don't want you talking to me right now. I have a lot going on. So I had to start finding places where I have to worry about nobody bothering me for me to get an hour or hour and a half in girl that could be right outside my balcony, that could be at the movies, you know? And I will go somewhere and put headphones on. It is not coming out. I'll walk around the mall or something and people really think I'm listening to some, no, I'm not listen to anything. I just don't want you talking to me. That's why I have the headphones. So that's what I had. I had to do. I'm okay with reading books, all kinds of things, you know. But I had to start training myself. What was better for me to get my me time.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. And I like what you're saying that you had to figure out what you liked and what you wanted and I think sometimes we get lost in that. I mean there was a time when somebody would ask me what do you like to do? And I was like I don't, I don't even know like, but yeah I enjoy giving yourself an opportunity to like rediscover yourself and know that you know even your, your 20 year old self, your 30th the old self, your 40 year old self changes and what the things that you like to change. Stuff that opportunity. You know who you are and what you're dealing with now I think really makes a difference. So I really, um, I really, and I thank you for explaining that because I think a lot of women, you know, deal with that as well.

Nichole Wilson:     Yeah. Because really with me time, it ain't about you. Oh girl, this is what I want to do babe. I ain't got but two hours and what you're talking about has a lot of noise and chaos to come to. Why don't you go on and go and call me when it's done, bring me up to go plate. That's what I always say. I got CashApp to give you some money to bring me something to go, but I don't want to go with you because you're messing up what I got to do. You know what I mean? That's where I'm at.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, I get it. I get it. So where do you see your business going in the next like three to five years? How do you see it growing?

Nichole Wilson:     Well, right now our magazine page on Facebook reaches over 400,000 a month. Wow. Yeah. We reached that many. We only have about 5,500 likes. And I didn't even pay attention to that until I about maybe three or four months ago. I'm hoping that the actual magazine, now that we're interviewing celebrities, that will start to get really out into all the States and we can start developing different groups around the U S so whereas I can't make everything, but then we can have representatives for autism. Moms are beautiful and if they have interviews set up, we would love that. But at the end we really would like for it to be a big thing and to grow and have the magazines everywhere and eventually, Hey, you know, somebody gave me an award for loving these autism moms, you know? Yes. You know, so something like that, but just something to do, whereas we're just expanding and we're working on expanding right now.

Nichole Wilson:     It's just my goal is I would like for everyone, every mom to know. They can send their article, they can send their information, you know, we'll talk about it through the magazine, we'll talk about it verbally, whatever. Just get the stories out so everybody can see that it's so many moms out here that have a story and it's not one story like the other. Awesome.

Shahara Wright:     Thank you. That is really beautiful. So do you have like any advice or tips for single moms that, um, are, you know, looking to have their own, well, they have their own business. We're looking to kind of grow their business. Um, and, and how to do that. Like any advice that you may have for some single moms, um, with setup business owners?

Nichole Wilson:      Well, the first thing that I would tell a single mom does a business owner is do not surround yourself by people who will not support you in it because you don't have a big support system anyway.

Nichole Wilson:     You're stressed, you're doing so much on your own. So make sure you're always surrounded by people that that could be via who you're dating, that could be via friends that you developed before, that may not still be friends now because now you're moving in a direction that now takes attention from them. You have to start really weighing out people. That was the first thing I had to do. And even now I realize, wow, you know, I can't have this person around me because they're going to stifle your business. Not consciously. They're going to stifle you from, from progressing. Always remember that. It's real important for you to still consider your health while you're doing this. So sometimes you're sitting there trying to do, you know, do your thing. I gotta do this. But the only thing right there is a bag of chips. It's okay to take a 15 minute break to go get a salad and sit there and eat a salad while you're developing.

Nichole Wilson:     But don't develop your business for attention. Develop your business because this is what you really want to do for people too. To notice the love that you have for what you have. And the only way you can do that is by showing people that you love yourself. And when you love yourself, you gotta put your heart into it. You're not gonna have the distractions. You're not going to have all the looks and the crazy people that's wanting to come out of the way and say, Oh, I keep doing that. Why you don't worry about pleasing nobody. Just worry about, you know what, this is what I want to do this and I love to do. And if it's only five people that like it for one month, I rather you have five people that like it, they'll want to like it. Then I have 80 people that are fake, that are smiling at you saying, yeah, you know, I always remember that strangers will support you faster than people that you're not. You know, that's, that's one of the biggest things that I always tell people that no people, that my friends or associates never, never purchased subscriptions in a magazine. Nothing. But I can't worry about that. My goal is I want people that I don't know, but that means I'm actually making an impact. I mean, I am, my voice is being heard.

Shahara Wright:     Yes, absolutely. I thank you. That was, I'm youthful. So tell us, um, the coal, like how to connect with you, how to purchase your magazine. How can we support you?

Nichole Wilson:     Cool. So the website is http://www.amabeautiful.org  So we're right now linking all the other ones up to this particular, um, website. But autism mom's a beautiful.org is also linked to that. So if you type in autism mom's beautiful.org, it's gonna all come up and it references a magazine. It's AMAB magazine, so you can get that on http://www.issu.com or just click on our website and it's right there to purchase it. Um, we also are it. And then on our Facebook page we have a private group for autism moms and special needs moms is autism moms are beautiful with Nichole. So, so me, like I say, it is a private group. We do have other people that come into the group, but it's really stated clearly that is this for autism. Moms express themselves is not for you to judge their response to their feelings on math though bootstrap.

Nichole Wilson:    And then we also have, um, our life page and maybe magazine. Autism moms are beautiful. And again, that's our page where we post different local news. That's going on or international news or wherever it is. We're posting the foolishness that goes on, all the beautiful things that go on. And also if you have the app, 95 three jams, I'm on every Sunday at nine 15 central where I'm going to give the highlights of different, not less news about what's going on in the community all over the world. You know, you name it, I'm going to be talking about it. So that's pretty much it. If you need to email me is info@amabeautiful.org.

Shahara Wright:     Right. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your experience and your story. Um, I, I really, um, identify with a lot of things that, you know, a lot of other women will too. Um, I just think that this is a great opportunity for those of you out there, um, that if you feel, um, that what Nichole had to say was like, Oh yeah, you know, I feel in my soul like I did. Make sure you connect with her on social media. Follow her on support, her organization and her business. I'm in. So thank you so much again. Um, if you guys, um, want to know more about single mom CEOs, you can come to our YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/ShaharaWright and then you can also find us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSuccess Um, I just want to say to you guys that I'm really appreciate you guys being a part of this and being on this single mom revolution. Um, we're doing big things and we got to support each other. So thank you again, Nichole, and you got time. Bye. Bye.
 

 
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How I found myself and my passion after divorce. - Featuring Lisa McKenzie

11/25/2019

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Lisa McKenzie is the Founder and Executive Producer of You Night Empowering Events, a program whose mission is to help women embrace life beyond cancer.  Lisa's passion for exploring opportunities to empower women is what drives her daily ambitions.  Seeing how hard women can be on themselves, Lisa recognized the positive role she can play in the community, drawing from powerful tools she used to climb out of a dark place. Lisa founded You Night in 2013 to bring together caring members of the community to love on and empower women, and show them they possess everything they need to be strong and powerful.  That is achieved through faith, a positive outlook and the social support of the You Night sisterhood.  To date – because of sponsorship support and donations to You Night’s non-profit (the We Lift You Up fund) -- You Night has gifted 300 local women with the You Night experience, resulting in a very active sisterhood of survivors in our community.   There are many aspects to the You Night programs that extend to not only the participants, but to the family members, as well.  One of the programs Lisa created is ScART (which stands for Scar Art).  ScART gives participants the opportunity to paint their surgery scars on canvas, allowing them to see their scars from a new perspective. Lisa is hoping that someday, her programs will be available nationwide and that her program will be synonymous with mental and emotional healing after a cancer diagnosis. In 2013, Lisa was a finalist in the “BIG IDEA” – for New Orleans Entrepreneur Week. That same year she was a finalist in the Urban League’s “Women in Business Challenge” and a $10,000 grant winner for the Salesforce Challenge. In 2017, Lisa was awarded the InnovateHer Challenge winner for the state of Louisiana; You Night was named “Most Glamourous Event” by St. Charles Avenue Magazine,  was named “Best Charity Event” by the Edge of the Lake Magazine reader poll,  and was featured in a national Capital One commercial viewed by millions. Lisa is a member of the Delta Gamma sorority, and many of the programs she implements in the You Night curriculum draw on the positive sisterhood and leadership aspects learned from being a Delta Gamma. Lisa is a graduate of San Diego State University where she majored in Political Science and Journalism. Lisa currently lives in Covington, Louisiana and is the mother of two children (Ryan age 22 and Halle age 17).

http://www.younightevents.com
​http://www.scartevents.com 

SINGLE MOM CEO
LISA McKENZIE
EPISODE 3 TRANSCRIBED

Shahara Wright:     Hi everyone. Welcome to Single Mom CEO. Um, I'm Shahara Wright and I am so excited to have for you, a good friend of mine, Lisa McKenzie. And one of the things that I really was excited about having her here is because not only does she have her own business, but she also has a nonprofit that she runs. She does so much stuff as a single mom helping others that she was like one of, I know I say this all the time, but when I really think of people, I think about, you know, the people that I interacted with, I think that are doing really great things. And Lisa is one of those people. So Lisa, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much, for sharing your story.

Lisa McKenzie:     Thank you for having me and thank you for those complements. It makes when I have a peer that I look up to, to, to compliment me, it means a lot to me.

Shahara Wright:      So why don't you give us a quick introduction of yourself and your business, what you do.

Lisa McKenzie:      We at all, I started a PR, a company called You Night Events in 2013 and the idea behind it was to take women who have suffered through adversity and in the case we, in this case it's cancer and put them through an empowerment program that's an alternative to traditional support groups where there's a finish line, um, something that they can work to together as a group to, to achieve a goal rather than just week after week or month after month, going to a support group and hearing everybody's struggles. Um, I was, I was in a divorce support group and after the second one I kind of ran to my car because I thought, Oh my gosh, like is this, what's going to be like every, every week? It felt so sad and I'm like, I don't want to feel sad. I want to, I want to find ways to feel happy.

Lisa McKenzie:      And even though you want to be in a supportive group with other people, it's like I'm my own problems. I don't know if I could sit around and take on all your problems. So anyhow, unite is a support group, but we do, we have been empowered group activities. And in our case, we're best known for training ladies who are survivors do walk a runway and then it's done over a six month period of time where when they first join, they're not feeling that they’re in the best position emotionally where emotional support initiative. And so they're, you know, a lot of them don't have hair eyelashes or they put on weight because of the treatments that they're in or their body parts are different. Their self-esteem has changed. So it's probably the worst time in your life to be approached to be in a runway show. But we take ladies and once they start saying, wow, we're also just human and so beautifully human, um, and they, they sort of let their walls come down and start discovering their inner beauty and together they can purge their bad self-talk that they've been teaching themselves and, and replace that with amazing truths. And by the time they walk the runway, they are just this beautiful, amazing sisterhood that long lasts long. Anyway, so that's in a nutshell.

Shahara Wright:     So why did you focus on cancer survivors as a part of this event?

Lisa McKenzie:     Yeah, it was, it was really kind of accidental because I'm not a cancer survivor myself. My mom is a breast cancer survivor and when I was younger and I saw her lose her hair and she had one breast forever, it was really damaging to me as a child to have to grow up with a mom that I was sort of embarrassed about when she'd come and pick us up at school and she never wore a bra. And I was hooked by that. So I didn't accept her the way she accepted herself, which is now as I'm older, I definitely have more compassion about that. Um, but then also I had two really good friends who got diagnosed and they were just not the same strong women that they were prior to the diagnosis and you just saw their worlds kind of come crashing down. So it just happened to be that I wanted to do an October event and I approached the hospital and I said, we'd like to give this to the participants and have it funded through donations. And sponsorship and, um, how would you like your hospital to be involved and to send women who've had cancer to get this experience? So it could have been any woman, honestly, who's gone through adversity. Um, the program really is, applies to anybody, but cancer has been our focus and we have watched miracles performed. Like it's beautiful thing. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Shahara Wright:      That's great. Yeah. And I, I really, um, love your story in that, you know, from what you experienced and saw the child, um, how you've grown into that and have a different viewpoint and now you want to assist others, um, from just to help them have better self-esteem. Um, you know, when they're going through something that's so, you know, emotionally, um, in addition to physically traumatic. Um, so that's, that's great. So did you terms of doing this business, um, why did you decide to turn it into a business? Why did you decide to make something that was your own?

Lisa McKenzie:      Yeah, it was, you know, I was writing, I've been a business person since 1997 when I was a wee young blasts. I thought, I've been an entrepreneur my entire life with the exception the first four years out of college, I worked as a in a public relations department and had them mean as us. Like she was just so, so rude and mean. And I'd sit in these, we'd get called into these mandatory board meeting or you know, committee meetings on Saturdays and they'd be just, it felt like a constant waste of time and a lot of politics in the office. And so from there I broke off and became my own business back in 1997. It's the best move I ever made. I, I think like an entrepreneur. I love being an entrepreneur. I love, my attitude has always been no ceiling. Um, I don't believe like when people say, what do you want to do?

Lisa McKenzie:     It's, I'm sure like other people, it always involves Oprah somehow and the Superdome, uh, you know, those kinds of thoughts and they don't scare me to think that big. And there's never like, Oh, I can't achieve that. It's always like account weight to get to that point. So when this came about, I was already running a successful jewelry business, which was also accidental. I kind of stumbled on things based on my crazy ideas and uh, and, and that, and it just, it just transitioned from me being at boutiques across the country with a jewelry line that I had you fill in a little frivolous with that cause it was an accidental sort of thing. I was doing that I wanted to make a difference in the world of women. And it's, it's, it's where I'm naturally meant to do that. I've been involved with my sorority forever and, um, I'm also very deep in my faith and I just believe that I have the ability to do my creative ideas and energy to make a difference in this world. So what I'm doing is really, I've, I believe it's for others, although it's super gratifying for myself.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah, no, that's great. Um, and I love that you have been doing this for such a long time in terms of owning your own business because I think that gives you sort of a bravery, um, when you're out or ready to, to do the next thing. So you mentioned earlier that you are divorced and so, you know, when you got divorced and you had, you were single mom, what was your mindset in terms of having a business and being able to raise your kids at the same time?

Lisa McKenzie:     Well, actually the way that You Night came about was because of my divorce. So my cancer was my divorce. I went into very, very dark place for two years and was super depressed. And the hardest part about the divorce for me was to have to go hide in my room when my, so my kids couldn't see me falling apart. I mean I just had two years of where I was like, how do I say, stay strong? Cause I come from, I'm a child of divorce and all I just remember growing up was my mom was always crying and she was so messed up and I felt like I don't think kids should see their parents in a part like that. And I really kind of with my ex, we, we vowed to make it a very happy environment and we have so that thankfully a, he and I were united on that front too to make our home drama free.

Lisa McKenzie:      But it didn't mean that my world was drama free. That was the face I presented to my kids. So I would go and client, you know, hide and you know, take cold showers and cry and cry myself at sleep. And then my kids would be like, are you crying mom? No, no, I just watched this movie because they were young. Now they're older. When my son is in his, um, final year at university of Alabama and my daughter's about to graduate high school. Um, you know, so this has been going on for like seven years. So when they were younger, I didn't know if they were ready to hear everything and, and there was a point not too long or let's say a couple within the last couple of years that we did have a really honest discussion about what was happening, um, with the breakup and why happened and you know, how it hurt my feelings. Um, and it was nice to actually; finally have that honesty and I feel like at that point they were mature enough to handle it. But, um, I don't know if I, did I answer your question? I kind of went off memory lane  in my head there.

Shahara Wright:      No, no, no. I get it because I, you know, my, my single mom journey is, you know, I was a single mom, then I got married, then I got divorced and I'm single mom again. So I have that in between and I totally understand what you're saying because for me, I definitely, I have two boys and I definitely didn't want, I didn't feel like I had the luxury of falling apart. Not even so much of letting them see me cry, but I didn't feel like I could, like I had to moving I think in that feeling of having, feeling like, Oh yeah, I have to keep moving. You know, the depression was setting in, but I didn't feel like I could even stop long enough to deal with it. So I was just wondering, did you feel that way too? Like for your kids? Like I just have to push through this regardless of how I feel.

Lisa McKenzie:     Well, I think I've always been that way. I've pushed through so many things in my life, but during that, the only thing that was different during that time of my life was that I really got depressed cause I've always been a very happy go lucky I've been president of everything I do. Like I'm, I'm always take charge, like, let's do this. But then all of a sudden I found myself in a position where I didn't recognize myself anymore. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm like actually depressed, you know? And, um, and I was wondering if that was going to be my forever, you know, like is this my new world? And I kind of found myself in unfamiliar territory. Cause when you're married all those years and you'd have family vacations and you know, you're doing everything as a couple and then all of a sudden you're, everything you thought was the reality comes to crushing halt.

Lisa McKenzie:     Cause these were things he was having an affair on me. So that was what was happening. But it's all of a sudden you're just like, Oh my gosh, this world is like horrible. It's bitter. It's, it's not, it's not the fantasy that you thought you were, you know, having grown up and, and so that was the hardest part was like what does my future look like? And that's what happened was in that place, in that dark place, I was able to, I had to go through that fire emotionally to, um, to figure out what I wanted out of life. It's kind of like, okay, now I have the second half of my life and I get to decide what's important to me because, you know, as women, we're such givers and we're taking care of the family and I still take care of my family.

Lisa McKenzie:       My goodness. Do I take care of them? But like I said, especially having a daughter who's a senior the senior year, we're so busy. But um, right; it was an exciting time. Once I can start seeing the light out of the tunnel, they started giving myself empowering tools to get out of that and my friends and my family, my faith really helped me through that. And that's what we give to the cancer group. That same sort of tools. But, um, it's exciting to say, now what do I want? Like if I had between now and whatever age I see myself, you know, at, as an older woman, what do I want that to look like? And so, um, so that's how that's eventually what got me into power through is I got to set more parameters as to do what I want to feel like, what do I look like, you know, so I started doing yoga and annotating and, um, just more self-care.

Shahara Wright:      No, I, I definitely, um, understand what you're saying and I think it's really an important, I think, the theme overall in terms of understanding what you want, um, as a woman to decide where you want to go forward to. And sometimes I think it takes us a little bit longer than it should because we're so focused on other people and when we have no choice but to focus on ourselves, we get the opportunity to say, okay, you know, what I really want for myself. And I think that's really good. So in terms of like managing your kids, their schedules, because you know, especially with teenagers, they have like their whole social life, um, that goes on, that you have to manage and navigate around. So how do you find that space in terms of navigating what they need versus, and not versus, but in addition to, um, your business and what you have going on?

Lisa McKenzie:     Yeah, I think that, you know, when my son was graduating high school,  I actually had a meltdown because all of a sudden I was, I was like, Oh my gosh, that period of my life is over. He's going on to college. And I blown it as a mom. Now I had, and I was a great mom, but I started having a lot of guilt about did I spend enough time with him because I'm such, I mean, my work really requires 17 hour days and it is insane what I do. So I started talking to myself about I did I spend enough time with him, his mom, um, was I too focused on the business? You know, I, I, that was a tiny bit of it fields. Um, but he didn't hold any grudge against me and we have a great relationship. So with my daughter, I had four more years with her. And so I've really been trying to make a conscientious effort of having some more mom daughter time, like taking, you know, going to the park and having picnics with her.

Lisa McKenzie:      And it's different, different than mom, daughter dynamic. Cause we do a lot of things. We really enjoy together. Shopping, going out to dinner and working out together and we cooked together. That's been really fun doing cooking. So I'm managing my time with them socially where I can, I mean sometimes my daughter has to really push like mom, you know, can you not take that phone call or you know, um, don't forget Saturday's our day. You're not supposed to be working on units. So it is really been, fortunately she prompts me and I have to sometimes, you know, turn off the, um, the brain, the, the work brain and really just be present in the moment. Um, that that's sometimes hard to do because I'm always, you know, work mode. But, um, thankfully I have, I think I've done a better job with her of having those special moments cause she'll, you know, in may when she goes off to college or this summer, um, you know, I, I can't look back and say, Oh my gosh, I blew it.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't want to have those regrets. I totally understand that.

Lisa McKenzie:     Then when she goes to college, what, what are your goals and what are your thoughts about where the business is going to go when you are an empty nester? Um, so to speak. And you know, you don't have to manage the schedules in the same way that you have to now. Well, all the rooms are being converted. I always tease him. I'm like, Oh yeah, I'm gonna make a sewing room in a craft room. I'm just kidding. I wish I had talked for so many crafts, but no, I actually know a side benefit. You didn't ask this question, but I just want to say that this has happened in my life is that, you know, and I would, I would suggest this to single moms maybe who are looking, you know, for their next relationship as an example. What happened with me was that when I got really focused on just me and saying, well, if this is going to be me for the rest of my life by myself, what is, what's that gonna look like and feel like?

Lisa McKenzie:     And as soon as I did that, the right person came along dating someone for four years, who absolutely is, is completely surprised because it's given me everything emotionally and supportive that a woman would ever want. And, um, I don't know if some of your listeners I've ever felt this way, but when you're a woman who's strong, especially if you go through divorce, you have to wear the pants in the family, right? So you'd play the women role in the mommy role work role and, and what, what's been a nice surprise at my stage in my life was I have a very strong man who came along. He's allowing me to be quite feminine and not have to be like the man role, if that makes sense. You know? Perfect sense. Yes, absolutely. The second part of my life when you say what am I going to do once I'm an empty nester is that a lot of that will him, I there will be a different kind of dynamic with having that relationship.

Lisa McKenzie:     Um, cause right now we're kind of live in separate lives. Um, but I, I do think that, I mean I can't imagine my workload increasing. I already work 17 hours. I um, I don't see much of a change in my day to day workload. Actually, once my kids are gone, I think the only difference will be in my social life will improve. That was, that's the one area that I've had to set aside. If I have to balance everything, it's my social life with my boyfriend, my business life and my kids' life. So my first priority has been my kids and my business. And then one sort of is, you know, the, the smaller side of things that would be the only thing that's going to change for me is that my social life will improve. But in terms of working, I think that, I think I'm pretty, do a pretty good job right now. Keep working full steam ahead and I'll continue doing that. Yeah, I hear you,

Shahara Wright:    Especially about the social life and I think, you know, depending on the age of your kids, your ability to really truly have a social life, um, you know, mine is nonexistent.

Lisa McKenzie:      Right?

Shahara Wright:     Hey bro, you going? I'm like, no, I'm not going. I just . . .

Lisa McKenzie:      Saturday night, is that, what's a Friday or Saturday? It's another night and I'm working.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. You know, and I mean, and my kid doesn't of course, he, he's, my youngest one doesn't do sports. Um, but he, you know, is in robotics and boy Scouts and this and that. So, you know, there's still a lot of running around. So I usually am just like, I'm tired and I don't want to go anywhere. And if I could just get a moment where I can just sit on the couch and watch TV for like 12 hours straight. That to me is like the best thing ever. Like I don't want to go anywhere. So I think that the fact that you are like, okay. Yeah and I feel like having a social life you're like, okay, it gives me something like, yeah, okay maybe one day I'll be like, okay, I'm ready to leave the house.

Lisa McKenzie:     Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like that's the area that will, cause I won't have to feel guilty. I mean my, I don't have to feel like, Oh my gosh, I should be spending more time. Like I'll have, I have that luxury, but if the house is going to be so quiet, I don't know that I'm ready for that. I'm very freaked out about not having my daughter around. I mean I've been a mom. I mean, my daughter, my son is 22 so what, 22 years of my life I've been a mom and I don't even know what you know, you know, every mom goes through this, what that next stage is gonna look like in terms of having quiet space. It's kind of odd honestly.

Shahara Wright:     Yes, a long period of time. It's like there's a period of time where you like, Oh God, I wish it was quiet. And then sometimes it becomes too quiet and you're like, Oh, I wish they were here. So I totally understand what you're saying. Absolutely. Yeah. So where do you see you not, um, event kind of going in terms of with your kids? Are they involved? Do they know what you do? How are they connected with your business at all?

Lisa McKenzie:     My daughter is so involved. My son will come to every event that I have. He'll drive home from college and it is so sweet to see my two kids hanging out, my son and his suit and you know, he's such a sweet guy. Um, I don't know that he'll play a role, although I think he would love to. He's an engineering major, so he just thinks differently. On the other hand, she is in, she, she, she is so involved in particularly, um, she helps me choose all the music. Um, the themes. Uh, I use her to bounce off ideas all the time and she's constantly saying, mom, what do you think about this? When you think about this, won't this be cool? What if the ladies wear this? So she, um, he has more of a creative desire because we are very similar with theatrical and music and sound and, um, but, uh, I don't know if in the future she will be a part of the organization. I would want her to want to do that on her own. But she's going into marketing and business. She'd be so good. Like she think she'd be perfect.

Lisa McKenzie:     We, I keep growing. Um, I, as you know, I'm working on this, um, national initiative, that painting program where ladies paint their scars on campus called scarred. And that is launching nationally, um, with a painting with a twist franchise in December. And it's, um, there's just so much going on with the growth of my business right now that I would love it if she is involved, but we'll just see, I want her to go and have an amazing college experience. I think she's, we're not sure where she's going. She's probably going to university of Alabama also, but, um, I want her to go and have a blast and then, and then I'll try to wrangle them back in. I said, my son has almost already promised me and he's going to pay off my mortgage. I like stating that public reason.

Shahara Wright:     She has to do it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I know we've talked about some, some advice that, especially around, you know, single moms and, um, entrepreneurship, but do you have any like, maybe do's and don'ts, um, in terms of, you know, balancing that mom's business, um, part of your life?

Lisa McKenzie:     You know, mine, I guess would be spiritual. I mean, there's probably a thousand things I could say, but, um, I have, I have, I guess because when you have those moments, like it's just every, every day, you don't know what's going to come. You could have these days where you're like, Oh, I'm on top of the world. Everything I touch is turning to gold. And then the next day you're totally like, what happened? You know, phone call, don't go awry, you have a drama situation. Um, you're putting out fires and then you're like, I don't know if I can handle this. Um, so I have, um, I have this chalkboard over my computer. It's my, I trust you, pod, chalkboard, chalkboard. And um, at the beginning of every year I take a, an eraser and I wipe it off. And I know I have, I trust you, God. And I have a Bible verse that I love, but I've put a Mark every morning and I say, I trust you about I trust you got.

Lisa McKenzie:     And then like if I'm having like a day where I'm like, Oh, I circled the number. Just like, okay, God, I trust you. I just need a tiny bit more, um, more like, not necessarily faith, but just help me through this day. It's a test case. And, um, so that's kind of like one little tip is just to start off every day knowing at least this is my, if, if your, if you have a strong faith, and this would be my advice, is that just to always give it to God every day before you start because he already has it worked down and, and, and if you're working in the zone, he's gonna open doors for you. And that's kind of the way I run my business. It's, it's exciting to let him be a driver. And I don't say that lightly, by the way. I really believe that.

Shahara Wright:     No, that's good advice. I think. And especially, um, when those dark days come and sometimes they'd come numerous, you know, and I know that for me this year, um, that's really been a process for me is to, to get my mindset in a better place. Um, and I think that that has made a big difference for me this year. Um, especially when you go through a lot of struggle and maybe it does come like one or the next day, but it may feel like it's constant, um, that, you know, you need to be able to keep your mindset and having, you know, to focus on God and know that you know, he's there for you makes a big difference in terms of how you approach your day. Um, and all the things that you have to deal with. For sure.

Lisa McKenzie:     I was gonna say one other thing too, and it's, it's hard cause I don't do this every day, but, and I didn't do it today. Probably when we hang up, I'm going to actually go do it. I try to wake up and do my 15 minute sun salutations in my house. Like I have this yoga video that I watch and there's thousands of them on YouTube, but I'll do this 15 minutes. My whole body just stretches out and feels so good. And then it ends with like a 10 minute meditation. And a lot of times I'm like, do I have 25 minutes to spare? But my day goes so much better and differently. If I take those 25 minutes out for myself just to stretch, wake up all of my cells and um, we get my blood flowing and just like get centered. So I, I try, I'm working on that. It's not a daily thing cause I like straight out of bed sometimes the wearing my pajamas and then in pajamas all day. But I do 'em I do suggest that too.

Shahara Wright:     That's great. So thank you so much Lisa, for being here and sharing your story. I really appreciate it. I love talking to you because I feel like we have so much synergy, you know, as women. Um, and also I also appreciate your perspective because I think, um, being a business owner for so long and then having, you know, ladies, children, two adults, there's just a different perspective. Um, from when you, I can say not completely finished raising your kids, but you've gotten them to 18, you know, it's like, yeah, you bet. 

Shahara Wright:     
That first part is done and I think I have a 22 year old and 11 year old, but you know, those of us that are still going through it, um, you know, need that encouragement and say, you know, there is kind of a light so to speak at the end of the tunnel, you know that you know this too shall pass. So thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I appreciate it.

Lisa McKenzie:      Well, we are super women. We're not trying to be, we are all the moms out there who are running a business and raising kids. It isn't easy, but what a privilege to do all.

Shahara Wright:      Absolutely. Absolutely. So tell us how we can get in touch with you. How can we support your business? You know, how can we support you?

Lisa McKenzie:     Well, I would love anybody to just check out my website. Um, I have two, two websites. So first is You Night Events,  http://www.Younightevents.com  Um, if anybody has women who are going through cancer diagnosis or recovery and they're looking for a network of support, um, we are talking to a couple of cities to grow the big sisterhood program that we offer, but we have an online support group so people can refer women to that. Um, the other thing is ScART Events is  http://www.scartevents.com ​ And that's the paint and sip I told you about or you know all about, cause you helped me with my attorney. Um, I, I that is a national program available to anybody who wants to schedule a private group class where women paint their scars on canvas as a way of, um, just exploring what is underneath the clothing and what scars means to them. A lot of times it's a negative, but we helped turn it into a positive through our org and through that group experience. So that would be it. Just checking me out and spreading the word to women who could benefit from what we offer.

Shahara Wright:                                             All right, great. Thank you so much. I'm, I'm so glad you're here. I hope everyone, um, got to learn something from Lisa. She definitely had a lot of nuggets, um, there for us to learn something. I knew I learned something. I'm just leaving this, this little bit of time, so I really appreciate, again, you being here. So you guys are wanting to hear more about single moms CEO. You can find us on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/shaharawright  You can also find us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/singlemomceosuccessw  and we will be back with more beautiful women who are doing big things in business and in life. So thank you again and I will see you guys next time. Bye bye.
 
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How I balance my heavy travel schedule with being a Single Mom - Featuring Jennifer Fontanilla

11/19/2019

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As an experienced speaker, financial coach, bestselling author, and former financial advisor, Jen Fontanilla has been in the finance industry for 15 years and helps entrepreneurial women take control of their finances so they gain clarity, hope, and confidence to live out their true passion and purpose.  Her focus is to help them identify the habits and money stories that are holding them back and empowering them to level up to create transformative, lasting change.

Connect with Jen at:
Connect with me on Facebook www.facebook.com/jenfontanilla or @jenmoneycoach
Instagram @jen.fontanilla
GET YOUR FREE GUIDE:  10 Mistakes Solopreneurs Make When It Comes to Their Money at www.jenfontanilla.com/gettheguide

Single Mom CEO
​Jennifer Fontanilla
 Episode 2 Transcribed

Shahara Wright:      Hi everyone. Welcome to Single Mom CEO today with asked me today. Oh my goodness, I can't talk. Today we have Jennifer Fontanilla and I'm really excited to have Jennifer and I know I say that about every guest. I just might as well just stop saying that. I'm really excited and just start off with the whole excitement thing. I always love the ladies that we get a chance to talk to because they are so inspiring to me and I know that they will be inspiring to everyone else. And Jennifer, I met, um, I think a year ago, maybe a little bit longer. Um, yeah, about a year ago, um, through a, an event. And so we kind of stayed friends via Facebook. And so when I started Single Mom CEO, she was one of the people that I said I definitely have to have on this show. So thank you Jennifer.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Oh my gosh. Thank you.

Shahara Wright:     So Jennifer, why don't you introduce yourself and tell the audience a little bit about who you are.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Sure. Well, hi everyone. Welcome. Thanks for being here and watching. My name's Jen and I've been in the financial services industry for about 15 years and originally I started as a financial advisor. So I have experience in insurance and retirement planning and investments and all that kind of stuff and went through the market crash. So I know what it's like to go through something like that and seeing what clients go through, but also at the end of it, you know, seeing the ones that made good decisions, how they weather the storm. And then slowly I decided, you know, I felt that there was a discrepancy where I, I just always felt as an advisor there's, there's things that you work on it, there's those steps, right? And I realized we need to take a step back because some people haven't gotten the budgeting down the credit is not where it needs to be and all those types of things, but everybody's trying to jump into, I need to invest.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And so it bothered me that the foundation wasn't there. It bothered me that, you know, as an advisor, you don't really address those things. You kind of throw somebody a budget sheet. But you know that people aren't really going to do it. You just know they're not gonna do it. And so I decided that I needed to shift the business and a lot of things were changing in the securities, which was an investment world. And so I realized I wanted to transition more into the financial and money coaching. And so, you know, it gave me more autonomy. I felt that it was a better place for me. I felt like I can really make that impact by helping people, making those decisions at a fundamental level where it's like, okay, let's start, let's start on the right split, let's understand what we're doing. Then we can build upon that because, you know, sometimes it'd be backwards.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Then people would be like, Oh wait, now I can't invest. Or now I can't pay for my insurance. Because a lot of the foundation wasn't built properly. And so one of my focuses is that I love helping women, especially ones that are solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, because that's the, that's such a unique space. You know, we deal with so many different things. I mean even where here, you know, Single Mom CEO, same, same I thing, you know, same idea where we have unique situations. And so I love that space and I love supporting women, make those decisions. Especially, you know, in the, you know, the coaching world and the entrepreneurial world. There are so many things to buy. There are so many things that I'm moving parts. And so I really love helping women make that, um, make that foundation strong so that everything that they build upon is this Olympic followed.

Shahara Wright:      That's so good. And I think you're right. It's so needed. And I think even with that, there's so few people that really understand that unique situation, especially when you're dealing with entrepreneurs, um, that you know, your income is not always guaranteed. Um, and so I think, you know, to have someone in the financial planning world that understands that really makes a difference. So, um, yeah, I think that's such a needed, um, aspect of, of what you do.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Thank you.

Shahara Wright:      So from your business, were you always on your own or were you working for a company and then decided to go on your own?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     It's actually kind of been on my own. Um, you know, because from the beginning, it has always been a contract, so it's, they're familiar, you know, 1099 so you're pretty much on your own. There was never a guaranteed paycheck. You know, I asked some reserves in the very beginning and, you know, you burn through that fast and, and it's interesting because you know, you, for some of you that have that space of, you know, you had that job and that guaranteed paycheck and you hated it. You hated that job. You couldn't wait to leave. But then, you know, as you go through the transition, you're like, Oh no, it wasn't so bad.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Right. You go through those things and you, you realize, um, that, Oh my gosh, this is so crazy. And um, but no, from the beginning it's always been, you know, on a contractual basis. Um, and so that was an interesting, you know, transition where you're so used to every two weeks that's like so easy to plan your budget. Everything was so easy to plan, plan. And then when I made that transition, when I, you know, I was working, offered reserves, you know, at the same time you start, you just always in the back of your mind and you start seeing this, okay, you just know in your mind that that resource is depleting and you have to build this. And so it's this thing that you juggled from the get go. So it's been a roller coaster, but you know, that's, I think that's the thrill that we love about it is that it's exciting. You're, you're a creator, you're making things happen, you're helping people solve their problems. And yes, I think that's what makes all of it exciting.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. I, I think you're right. It does make an exciting, sometimes nerve wracking, but exciting at the same time. So as we all know, this a Single Mom CEO, so you are in fact a single mom. Do you have a boy or girl?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I have an eight year old boy going on 17.

Shahara Wright:     I have, um, two and my youngest is 11, and I swear I'm, and he's like 45, like the same age as me. And I'm like, Oh my God, I just can't with you. So

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I know. Totally get it. Totally. I'm right behind you.

Shahara Wright:     So in juggling, you know, yourself, your business and, you know, being a single mom, how do you work around your schedule? I know we had a good conversation, you know, pre interview, talking about your speaking engagements and things like that. So I know you do a lot of speaking. So how do you kind of work around that schedule of being there for your son and, and traveling for your speaking?

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Yes, great question. Um, first I have to thank God for my parents. They're both retired. Ironically, I handle their accounts so I know they did very well and I'm so blessed that they, you know, they did a great job. And my mom, it's funny with my dad and I joke about it like, yeah, mom did really, really good and I'm saving and uh, they're like my poster children of what you should be doing. But because the them and um, thank goodness are retired, I have them. So I'm, I know not everybody has that resource. You know, to, to go to the grandparents. Um, but you know, for them, you know, they, they, they love the grandson. His name is CJ, Christopher Jordan. And so thankfully I have them when I travel, but it's, it's hard, you know, it's one of those things where, okay, what's the least amount of time it can be gone, what's the earliest flight I can get?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     What's the earliest I can book back home? And, you know, just trying to stay in touch through, you know, messenger manger kids through the iPad or whatnot. Um, so that makes it tough on, you know, it's really about scheduling and telling them ahead of time like, okay here or even if I don't have to like leave out of town. It really is time management to just be able to travel. I have to be very informative. I'm like, okay, I'm going to be gone from like, even if it's as simple as like had to be gone from, you know, 7:30 a.m. when I go, cause I live in LA, everybody, so you know, traffic, you know, it's, it's like it takes two hours to get somewhere that's five miles away. And so I think I'm still thankful for things like zoom webinars and stuff like that. But you know, it's, it's very important to communicate, okay, I need, can you watch him from this to you take them to school, you know, can you pick them up and that type of thing.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      So it's just about communication and being able to schedule and plan ahead and, um, and for me to communicate that to them. And, and thank God I've had, um, very, very supportive women in my life too. I think I would, um, I'm currently publishing a book and there were times when like, you know, I felt bad it was the weekend and, and my son is like, he's going to be bored. And so I've had friends who like, you know, do you want me to take them? And thankfully they had kids too. I'm like, I'll give you money, you know, that way he's not forced. So, you know, you really, I think every other day it really comes down to have you built that support system, whether it's family, friends, you know, you really, really have to build some kind of support system around you so that you can figure out how to maneuver around your business and you know, have that time with your child at the same time.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, no, I think that's really important. I think a lot of, um, moms, you know, definitely feel like, yes, the support system, um, has to be strong, um, and being able to be there. Do you engage him at all in your business or do you make sure that he just has something else completely to do?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I try to engage them to the point where it's enough for his age, but I do joke in my mind that, yeah, you know, like there's going to be a day where you're going to be working the conference and might have a lot. You get a pass off sent to the back or whatever. And um, but why it was so important. And since, um, I think when he was three, I remember this was the first memory I had. I was in the kitchen. Of course, I'm practicing a presentation and I'm walking around. So I looked like a crazy person because I'm talking to myself. And so he's, I think he was three at the time. And he goes, well, what are you doing? And I said, Oh, I'm trying to see my speech. It's just like, Oh, can I do it? You know, think little things like that I would engage him.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And then so even along the way he would see, you know, something like this, like a, a zoom call. And he, it was so funny because he is, he's always around me, you know, because you have that flexibility in your schedule. And, and ladies, I know there's times when you're like, Oh no, another day off from school. Like some people I see on Facebook, they get excited. I don't, I don't get excited cause now I'm like, okay, that's, I feel like that's one day away from my time that I would have been working. But you know, all in good balance, but you know, he would get to the point where he would recognize certain people that I was going on zoom call meetings or he would recognize, Hey, that person live on Facebook. So it's interesting because it's not like everybody has an opportunity to take their child to traditional workplace, but, but as you know, a lot of times your home is your workplace.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      And so he's been immersed in it. So in, in that regard, he's seen the different things I've done. Um, he, he understands that, you know, I have to, you know, not all my travel is like fun. I mean, I tried to make it fun, but, you know, it's not like, Hey, I'm going to no vacation. So he's, he's starting to see that world where, okay, you're going out of town for another conference. And I stay in communication with him when I'm gone so that he understands, like, okay, okay, it's two more days. Okay, I'm gonna come back tomorrow morning. So, you know, depending on what it is I'm doing, he's, he's seen the different things I've been involved with along the way.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah, that's good. I think, um, you know, that's important. I don't really think my kids know what I do. They know I'm a lawyer. Um, and I see some aspects of it, but I don't think I've ever really, truly engaged them in, um, what I do. Um, so I always find it interesting and how other women are incorporating kids and their business, because I probably would've done the complete opposite and probably kept them away from as much legal stuff as I could. So I find that interesting. And I think that's good. And I, and especially with travel, um, because I know this year I reduced my travel significantly. It was, to me it was becoming more stressful because of the schedules and the things that he was doing and getting into and all that kind of stuff, that it was more stressful for me. So how do you find it for yourself? You know, trying to manage all that, that you are kind of managing your own stress of dealing with being gone, uh, and making sure that he does everything he needs to do. And you know, grandparents, um, always allow the kids to do a whole lot more than you would ever let them do. I know my mom does anyway. Sure. Stuff was still is running smoothly and they haven't, you know, gone all Lord of the flies on you while you're gone.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      I was just talking about that book recently. It's funny you brought it up. Um, but yes, I um, for me, I'm a stickler for self-care. If anything, I'm really good at. I am, I got that nailed down like two ways. Science, I mean, I practice meditation. I almost said medication could be meditation. I practice meditation, prayer and I, I mean I go to the gym and people go, well, how often do you, I'm like, it's 20, not 24, seven. I would be dead. I, you know, I do that every day and I, and I, I have to from my own mental state, you know, for it to de-center myself and to have that time for myself in the, in the morning. And then, you know, at nighttime, I, I've, it's just been a practice that I had done for several years now. And so it's so ingrained in me that it's just very, very habitual.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I tell people, it's like I'm brushing my teeth, so for me I do that. Then, you know, when it comes to the balance, you know, like, like you, you had to make a decision, like, you know, I have to cut back. And so for me, I, I will look at the entire year and I'm like, okay, how often was I ​gone, you know? Okay. And even from a financial standpoint, you know, okay, did I, am I, am I making a return on investment for this event? And sometimes I have to make a decision like, no, I'm not going to go to another conference or, you know, I already was gone three times in the last month. So I have to play that on in my head and say like, you know, I'm going to not do that, or I need a scale back. So just like you, you know, you just realize like, you know, it's too much.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And sometimes I, you know, I, like I mentioned in the questions, I said, you know, there's times when I have to be present. And it's hard because you know, the business becomes something. You just become so engrossed in and you want to keep moving, moving forward, which is understandable. But at the same time, you do understand that there's this little person with you and you only have such a small amount of time with them because I think about like, there's gonna be that day, you know, going to become 18 or it might even be sooner where he's like, I don't want to hang out with you mom. And I don't want to think about, Oh my gosh, I missed out on those years because your business can always essentially be there, but your child is not gonna always want to hang out with you. So, you know, I have to keep those types of things in mind.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, no, I think that's really important. Um, I, I know, um, and I've said this before on the show that, you know, I made a decision, like I said, I have two kids, my oldest is 22, and when I graduated from law school, he was a year and a half; well he was a year old, when I graduated from law school. And by the time I, you know, passed the bar and started my own business or whatever he was, you know, two. And I had gone to, um, uh, continuing legal education class and one of the guys that was talking, um, was talking about how much time he missed with his son and you know, this was a male. And so he was talking about how he missed a lot of time with his son. And he regretted that. And that was the one thing, the one thing that when I started my business, I said, I'm not going to do that.

Shahara Wright:      Like, I'm not going to have my kid, not know who I am. Um, because I'm so busy working and I feel that, you know, throughout the years and it's been 20 years, you know, that I've missed out on a lot of things. There's a lot more I could have had or should have had or would have had had I taken a different approach. And so sometimes people will say, Oh, Hey, you, you know, why aren't you at this level? Or why aren't you doing that? And I think, well, it was because of the choices that I made, not to work, you know, or not to do certain things. And so of course that is impacting my business, but I'm okay with it. So I just wonder how you feel about that in terms of impacting your business. Kind of the would've, could've, should've, um, how you've managed to say, you know what, I'm okay with whatever happens because this thing is more important.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Absolutely. That's such an interesting topic. And I agree with you. You know, it's, it was interesting with your story because of all the things that you walked away with, it was that it had nothing to do with the business in a sense. Not a direct correlation. And so the fact that that was so important to you and that it carried throughout, you know, that that just says how much weight there is on that. And so for me, I completely resonate with what you said, because even when I got pregnant, I remember thinking like, Oh my gosh, I don't even know how to take care of kids. Um, you know, for me, I knew I needed to learn as I go. And you know, there was so much adjustments, but you know, and it's just, it's such an interesting thing where you don't even, you look back, you're like, how did they even do this?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Right? How did I even just make this happen? And you would just see when I was pregnant and I was asking people who are already parents, they just go, I don't know, you figure it out. And I thought that is the dumbest answer. And now that I went through it myself, I'm like, okay, I see why they said that because you just figure it out. And so for me, you know, I, I do understand there's sacrifice and there's that balance. And you know, it's, it's this, it's weird because you have two kind of things. Okay. The child, like I said earlier, is only going to be a certain, a certain age for so long. So I know that it's not that our business can't get to that level. It just means not right away. And I'm okay with that. You know, cause there's some people that I see that everybody has different goals.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And so, you know, when you're a parent, when you're, you know, particular for this situation, you know, when you're a mom you just inherently understand that you have certain goals. Yes, you want to grow your business, but yes, you do have a child. And so there's going to be that in a sense of delayed gratification. But I'm okay with that because at the end of the day, you know, you hear that, that one story that says, you know, when you're at your desk, then nobody's going to say, I wish I worked more. Everybody's, Oh, it's all right. It's always going to be this story that says that person, you know, I think it was at church, somebody talked about how they, obviously little pastors are going to pray over the person there who are going to, you know, it's time for them to pass pretty soon. And so they're praying and they said that a lot of times, you know, they'll notice that everybody will always be, the person that's about to pass away is always saying something like, you know, I wish I spent more time with my family.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I wish I invested more into my relationship. And so just like you would that guy that you heard, I think about things like that. I take that kind of, I take that to heart because then I think about, I don't want to be that person that said, man, I, you know, I shouldn't have spent so much time on the business. I'm gonna think about my family. I'm gonna think about my son. I'm going to think about those things that are at the end of the day are way more important. And so when I can remember that, that grounds me. And then I don't have that regret. I'm like, yeah, you know what? I may not be there. I may not have X, Y, and Z and whatever. It doesn't mean I'll never get it. It just means not right away. And so when I think about that and have that, that I'm tunnel vision for that, that I don't want to go through that experience. It really helps me like, no, I'm cool, I'm good. I'm cause I don't want to have that. I don't want to have that regret. 

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, yeah. I think that's important, especially for us moms is, you know, and in doing our business, because I say the Facebook effect or have a social media effect where you see these people doing all these amazing things and you're like, Oh, you know, I want to do that. But what it takes to get that, the time it takes, the energy it takes when you're the sole provider, you can't really do both of those things effectively. I don't, at least I don't think, I've never met anybody that can.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Yeah, it's, it's, it's tough. I was going to say too, Oh, I'm sorry. Did I add to it? Cause you brought up, you brought the Facebook thing and it's hard because I, I'll, you know, if I'm going to be real, you know, there's times I'm like, well, let's be nice to have a solid partner.  They have that extra, it lets me know that you don't have to work, you know, and I'm not knocking anybody else's lifestyle. It's just you, you know, you can't but help compare and whether that's healthy or not, depending on what level you do it too, you know, we can be unhealthy, but it does make you aware. You're like, okay, that's just not my path. That's not how it worked out for me. That's okay. I'm not going to, I'm just not going to get that in that in the same way you did, but that's okay. We all have our own path or journey or story, but, um, but no, I, I'm very well aware of that Facebook, Instagram effect.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah. And I think you just have to, I think, you know, for us as single moms, I think we have to be okay with it not being that way. Um, you know, I, I talked about this a little bit and I talk about it more later, but I am very strict with my schedule and because I'm strict with my schedule, a lot of times people think, well, Oh, you're not really hustling or you're not really doing this. And it's not so much that I'm not, but that there's only so much time for that. Like I'm not, there's things I'm just not willing to sacrifice for the dollar and that's okay with me. Um, even though it may not be okay with somebody else and I'm not ever trying to obtain this certain thing just for other people to look at me at a certain way because there are only two people really in my life, you know, that I want to make sure that when they think about me, what their words are is that she wasn't ever there like that. That's to me is like my worst nightmare is that my boys would think, you know, you weren't ever really there for me and I, I totally, you know, um, a lot in terms of when I'm making my decisions about when and where I'm gonna be or how I'm going to do something that's not the conversation that, you know, you can be mad at me about a whole lot of stuff, but that's not the one thing you're going to be upset with me.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     It ain't going to be that one.

Shahara Wright:     Yes.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Oh wow. I love this. I love what you're doing. It's just amazing cause it's, it's a different world. It's a different mindset. It's a different place. Definitely.

Shahara Wright:     It definitely is. It definitely is. So, Jennifer, I know we could probably talk about this like all day. Um, I know I can. Um, and so we will chat more about this, but, um, let us know like how we can get contact with you. How can we support your business? How can we, um, you know, help you, uh, get your business where you want it to be by being supportive.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Oh, thank you. Yes. If you want to get in contact with me and I will share the link with Shahara and if you can reach me, you can go on my site at www.jenfontanilla.com/gettheguide and then I also give her a mailing to um, you know, Instagram and Facebook as well. And then, um, if you go to my website, though, be a freebie about, um, 10 mistakes I like full printers make and so things that they're not doing. So if you want to go ahead and grab that free guide, feel free to go there. Um, but yeah, I'm pretty accessible. So, um, if you have any questions, if you are in a place where you know you've had these goals in regards to money and, um, for example, has been trying to do a budget or you've been trying to get things under control, but for some reason it's just not happening. It's not clicking and you have all the best intentions. Um, you know, reach out. We can do a 15 minute call. We can talk about that and see, um, you know what we can do. 

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's great. You guys make sure you connect with Jennifer. I, one of the things I would definitely want to do is do some special series around these issues, especially with single moms and money and Jennifer and I talked about maybe doing something later on so we'll definitely get something out to you because I think especially for us, single moms, this is such an important issue and topic, uh, you know, managing the money and even, I'm going to admit I'm not a brave money manager, but I mean even for those of you that are a top notch, um, this is something that I think you can't get too much of. Um, so make sure you reach out to Jennifer and I'm the connect with her. We'll have all the links and everything for you, but make sure you reach out to her. So thank you so much, Jennifer, for being a part. I really appreciate you coming and sharing your story. Thank you so much for being here.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Thank you for having me. It's been great.

Shahara Wright:     Okay, you guys will, we will see you next time on Single Mom CEO. Okay, I'm going to get my speech together. We will see there and make sure that you like our Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSuccess/
Check us out on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/shaharawright
 Um, and we'll see you next time. Have a good day. Bye

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Bye everyone.
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Why I left my Six Figure Job to be a Better Mom! - Featuring Kalilah Wright

11/12/2019

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​Kalilah Wright, born in Jamaica W.I., migrated to the United States at the tender age of 4 and was raised in Brooklyn, NY. She is the Founder and CEO of expressive brand Mess in a Bottle. As an accomplished designer and trained architect, she used her Masters degree from Morgan State University and Bachelors of Arts from Penn State University to establish the brand in January 2016 in Baltimore, Maryland. Mess in a Bottle allows you to put messages on t-shirts and are packaged in reusable bottles.

The Mess in a Bottle brand was established to evoke change, question Kalilah’s audience and allow individuals wearing their messages to be vocal without saying anything at all.
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Each item is designed and printed at her Baltimore in-house studio space.

Kalilah has participated in multiple pitch competitions and won the Wells Fargo Business Pitch competition at Blogalicious in 2016 and most recently, the 2018 iFundWomen pitch competition in conjunction with the Baltimore Ravens. Celebrities such as Serena Williams, Luvvie Ajayi, Lena Waithe, Yvonne Orji, and fashion gurus Claire Sulmers and Ty Tyrone, are all proud supporters of Mess in a Bottle.

Single Mom CEO
​Kalilah Wright
 Episode 1 Transcribed

Shahara Wright:            Okay. Hi, welcome to Single Mom CEO. I am Shahara Wright. I'm really excited today to bring with you, bring to you, sorry I can't talk this morning. Um, Kalilah Wright. And we're not related. Um, with Mess in a Bottle and I was really excited to speak with Kalilah; I met her probably about four years ago. She probably doesn't even remember me, but I met her, um, at Blogalicious. Um, he won an award there and that was the first time I interacted with you and we ended up kind of meeting kind of couples again and I follow you on your Facebook page. And I was really, when I thought about doing this show, you were like the very first person I was like, I have to get her on this show. So Single Mom CEO is really a series and talking about what it's like to be a single mom, a full-time business owner, and really kind of going through the ins and outs of what that's like. And Kalilah thank you so much for being here and welcome to the show.

Kalilah Wright:     Thank you. Thanks again for having me.

Shahara Wright:     No problem. So Kalilah why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your business and what you do.
 
Kalilah Wright:     Um, so again, my name is Kalilah Wright. I'm the owner of Mess in a Bottle. So Mess In a bottle, is a tee shirt company, and we put messages on tee shirts and they come packaged in a reusable bottle. A little bit about me. . . I was born in Jamaica, West Indies and I migrated to the United States at four years old. Um, and I lived in New York for most of my life and I then went to, um, college at Penn state university and I have my Masters in Architecture from Morgan State University and I now reside in Baltimore, Maryland. And I am a single mom to a beautiful six-year-old son.

Shahara Wright:     Wow. That is amazing. So what got you from architecture to doing tee shirts?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, you know, I think that it's a design field. Um, I was always a designer. Um, I just went from designing buildings to now the designing of apparel and designing messages and curating messages for people's lives. Um, but I started Mess in a Bottle in 2016, right after the 20, uh, right after the Freddie gray riots here in Baltimore. Um, I lived in that neighborhood. I lived in that community and, um, I was working at Under Armor as an architect and it really felt like there was a lot of race related, um, and police brutality incidents and everyone was tiptoeing around the issue and it felt like no one wanted to really have a, they were afraid to have conversations around what was happening in my community. So I started Mess in a Bottle as a form of communication and a way for people to have these important conversations without feeling like they had to really explain themselves. So Mess in a Bottle. We allow people to have a voice and we give a voice to the voiceless. And so that's kinda how Mess in a Bottle was erected and started.

Shahara Wright:           Yeah, that's a great story. It’s very unique in terms of, you know, being moved by something that happened in your neighborhood and wanting to do something about it. But then I think about, you know, what it has to take for you to leave your job and start a business. And I know how difficult it is, you know, owning a business and then taking care of your son. So what made you think, okay, I can do this business and you know, be able to provide for my son even though I don't have this steady paycheck?

Kalilah Wright:               Um, well, I have a, I have student loan debt as well as, you know, I just wanted to live a very, a comfortable life. And one day after receiving my paycheck and I was making six figures at Under Armor, um, but it just still was not enough, especially being a single mom. And so I told myself like, okay, I could work here for however many years and I could receive a raise. And, you know, and it was at the point where my son, he was only three years old at the time, and he would come with me to work and, you know, sometimes he would, I would, uh, put a little caught underneath my desk and I would let him sleep and nap. And I would be sometimes doing work until 1:00 AM 2:00 AM and I just really realized like this wasn't the life, especially because my salary would only grow like one to 2%, you know, however often.

Kalilah Wright:         And I just was like, this is, I'm not going to make ends meet. And so I knew then that if I wanted to take a bet on anything, it would be taken a bet on myself and just really, um, taken the leap of faith to say if I'm going to create a life for myself, a life that is enjoyable, a life where if my son becomes sick, I can stay home or work from home. I don't have to report to anyone. So I just really wanted to create what, you know, a comfortable situation would be for me as a mother.

Shahara Wright:          Yeah. I, I really feel that because, um, I started my business kind of very different reasons, but I started my business and when my son was two years old. And so I think that age right there, you kind of really making these decisions about what you're going to do with your life and how you foresee, you know, raising your kids. And for me, I really had to make, um, a decision about what kind of time I was going to spend at home, what kind of time I was going to be at work. I mean, I really still to this day struggle with kind of making those decisions. Do you have a hard time deciding like, okay, how much do I need to work versus how much I need to be at home? And you know, those kinds of things.

Kalilah Wright:    Of course, there's a lot of pressure on you, you know, being an entrepreneur, I think there's even a greater responsibility because if I don't work, it's like you don't get paid. Um, so I think that, uh, you know, even though you're flexible, you're able to make your own schedules and all this other stuff, it's still a responsibility where you have to take care and be the provider. There's no, there is no check on Fridays if you, you know, if you didn't go into work. Um, so I think that, um, it, it pushes you and I think that you still have to make those decisions. And I think for the first maybe two years of my business, um, you know, my son suffered a lot in the sense of I would put my business as the priority to sort of make sure that I was at the forefront.

Kalilah Wright:        But now I'm at a place where, um, you know, I try to make sure that I put his needs first and, you know, maybe a lot of travel. I definitely, even though it's those fields, like I travel a lot, I've slowed down a little bit this year where I'm very conscious about the different projects I'm going to do. And, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm more, um, you know, I'm a more aware of where I need to be and either training someone to see if an assistant could then be the person that able to, um, to head to a certain job site. So those are now decisions that I've made to, um, you know, to, to make it a little bit easier for me.

Shahara Wright:        Yeah, that makes sense. Was there anything in particular that happened that caused you to shift your mindset about how you were dealing with your son and your in balancing your time?

Kalilah Wright:             My son broke his femur, so your femur is right between your hip and your knee and you know, it's your thigh bone. And my son fell and he broke his, you know, he broke his leg and it was not like they had to do surgery, they had to put pins, we had to have a wheelchair, we had to have a Walker. And I think that really forced me to sit down and force me to sit down and force me to like really be there more for him as well as to make those hard decisions where, you know, there's certain events and certain things I just cannot do. So I think now I'm more, um, I sort of, uh, you know, have a schedule in which like, you know, I give maybe two weekends a month I'm home and maybe two of them I'm awake, but I try to balance it a little bit better. And then the weekends I'm away, no matter how much I hate a Chuck E cheese or a Dave and busters or, you know, I'm definitely not the soccer mom, but like at least, you know, we went on roller skating and we went bowling and he loved it. Um, so, you know, like those are like the fun still packed things that I'm really trying to instill within his schedule, within mind, you know, so that it'll sort of make up for the weekends in the times that I'm not there.

Shahara Wright:          Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think, you know, just from my perspective, um, you, it's very hard. And I, of course, everybody has some kind of mommy guilt at some point in time. Um, you know, we all experience it no matter, you know, where you are in life. It was a mom. You feel like, you know, you're not being the best mom that you can be, but I think putting those priorities in place about when and where you're going to be really makes a difference. And so in doing that and pushing your business forward, how have you been able to adjust inside of your business to be able to still push forward, um, while still being a great mom to your son?

Kalilah Wright:         Um, I think it depends. It, you have to have a really good team. And so it took me awhile. You know, I had good people around, but um, you also have to have like good people as well as really dependable. You want people, you want your business to run even when you're not there. And so I'm, you know, I finally found that team and that staff who they are able to run the business even in my absence. So I think it's a strengthen in the foundation and just making sure you have a really good team.

Shahara Wright:         Yeah, that's, that's really important I think. And especially for some business, especially business such as yours, where you know, you're, you're moving a lot of pizza places, there's a lot of different moving pieces, but making sure that you have that people around, um, makes all the difference. And so in finding those good people, what was the most important thing to you in terms of finding the people that you needed to help you with your business?

Kalilah Wright:               Um, I think it just really depends. I know for me, at first I was looking at creatives because I'm a creative, so I love creative. Um, but right now I've transitioned a little bit where I've hired a little bit more of an older staff, um, people who maybe they are creatives, but you know, they're in different industries. Um, people who I'm just, you know, don't have more of a personal relationship with, um, people who are maybe really detail oriented. Um, so I think whatever sounds like a really strong weakness of mine, I was able to try to find people with the characteristics that would support, um, and like enhance and um, you know, and make sure that they were the ones that would be there in my absence.

Shahara Wright:            Yeah. That, that makes a lot of sense. And I think especially kind of balancing your weaknesses with your strengths, um, really does something for your business and helps you to be able to do more because you're not so much worried about what you can't do and you're worried about what you can do. So I really love that perspective that you give and you know, thinking about it and just terms of life in terms of being a single mom, one of the things I know that we all suffer from too is not taking enough me time and giving, you know, you give it either all to your kid or you're giving it all to your business. How do you find the time or do you find he be time to just say, okay, this is, you know, Kalilah, I need to recharge.

Kalilah Wright:            Yeah. Me time is important. Um, I've definitely started, um, you know, at night, uh, my son is only six. Um, but we've had, especially when he was five, there was a lot of sleeping in my bed or, you know, staying up really late, hanging out with me while I do work. Um, so now I try to instill a little bit more of, you know, structuring, you have to sleep in your bed, you have to go to bed at a certain time. So those things allow for me in the evenings to kind of really have a moment to myself and you know, on weekends or, um, you know, some days I let him, we have a two story home, so some days I'll let him like be on the first floor for a little bit by herself with a tablet or with something. And then I could then proceed and go upstairs and, you know, and just relaxed and online and kind of take some time to myself.

Kalilah Wright:             Um, and even, um, I tell everyone all the time, like doing any like staycations, um, whether that's, um, you know, renting a little Airbnb and going into a different place because sometimes in your own home you may not be able to like, unwind or officially like let go of certain things or you bring things home. So it's kinda stays there. So, you know, I love like a good Airbnb and just like taking a weekend to myself. So those are ways that I definitely like, um, exhibits self-care and you know, and have and make time for myself. Cause I, I, you know, I think I'm just one of those moms where I, I definitely put the mask on me before I am able to assist my son. So, um, last year I even took a trip to South Africa for like 10 days by myself. Um, and so, you know, I put the air mask on me first.

Shahara Wright:     That's good. I'm glad to hear that. I know that I'm guilty of not doing that. I'm, I'm trying to get better, but . . . 

Kalilah Wright:     I also run running has been really therapeutic as well. And so I run like in the mornings and that has been definitely a way that, um, has, uh, helped me, um, is running.

Shahara Wright:     Wow. That's great. So what made you start, did you, have you always been running or did you make a decision that this is what you needed?

Kalilah Wright:     I've been running for a little while now. Like we, when I run, I ran my first marathon last year and I'm probably gearing up to run a second in 2020. Um, so yeah, I just run running as therapeutic, as calming. It's, I'm health, um, all of that good stuff. So I really enjoy, um, you know, I think it's a challenge, so it's something that I've just been enjoying to do.

Shahara Wright:     So where do you see you and your business going, let's say in the next three to five years? I mean, what are some of your big goals that you're looking forward to achieving?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, right now we're focusing on the vending machines and we are, um, focused on expansions, uh, collaborations with big box brands as well as we are. Um, you know, we want to get into some retail spaces. So we have a lot of things that we are working on and, um, and it's been exciting. It's been quite the journey.

Shahara Wright:     Oh, that's great. That sounds great. So tell me a little bit about your vending machines. What, what, uh, what are those?

Kalilah Wright:     So we launched, um, a T shirt, vending machine, and we recently did a collaboration with brothers for the movie the kitchen starring Tiffany Haddish on Melissa McCarthy and Elizabeth Moss. And we designed, I'm saying for our t-shirts, um, that were packaged in our reusable bottles and they were housed in the T shirt message machine, uh, and they were then dispensed at the movie premieres. So we look forward to doing more of those collaborations.

Shahara Wright:     Oh wow. That sounds very interesting and fun. Um, and so yeah, I can definitely see that being a big part of where you are moving forward. And I know that you also do some training on teaching other people to launch a teacher brand. So what made you start that, um, in addition to what you're already doing?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, I think just as you know, I know that when I was starting out, I was a single mom. I wasn't sure like where to go and I wanted to start this, you know, tee-shirt journey. Um, and I spent a lot of money. So I want that. If there are other, you know, especially single moms or women who are stay at home and still just trying to figure out what's the dual income, I want to be able to teach other people, like how to get a business off the ground.

Shahara Wright:     So what would be is like your, maybe your top two things that you would say were do's and don'ts, you know, do this, don't do that. And what would be some advice, you know, that you would give people that are interested in entering in that industry?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, well I started the t-shirt company with less than $500. I think that I'm, you know, depending on what you are going to venture into, I would say to try to limit your startup costs. Um, most of us don't have the extra cash to just, you know, throw money around. So I would definitely limit the startup costs, um, as well as I would try to, you know, maybe gain a mentor in that industry. Um, and see, you know, who can teach you about the game or who you can sit next to be a fly on the wall just to learn as much information as you can about that industry before jumping into it.

Shahara Wright:      Any big don'ts to definitely not do?

Kalilah Wright:      um, no cause you have to learn. You have to make the mistakes.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. No, that's very true. So what would be some things that you think that, um, as your son gets older you will tell him about what you do in, I know your son spends a lot because he's younger and my kids are a little bit older, but, um, because he's younger, he maybe he doesn't understand or know, um, what you do. How do you explain to him, I guess that's a better question. How do you explain to him?

Kalilah Wright:     No, I think I'm surprisingly enough just hanging around. He understands a lot. Um, you know, he told me the other day that has friends, their moms didn't sign their contract to go on a school trip. Um, so I think that my son is now interpreting and using like business lingo as you know. So I think that he understands that I own my own company. He understands that I'm the CEO and that I founded this, you know, he helps me at the post office. Um, so I think on some days I definitely have mommy guilt about having him, like in the shop on a Saturday where I feel like, you know, kids may be in a 90 degree weather are running outside and playing with a ball, but instead he has to, you know, play with the tablet and listen to me have business meetings. But I think that there is also benefits in that environment as well. So, um, I think that my son is grasping really well what I do as six years old.

Shahara Wright:    Okay. That is great. Um, yeah, I think too, um, you know, maybe involving them when they're young into the business makes a big difference. And, you know, eventually they'll come around and see how things are. Um, my eldest son is 22 and while he has no interest in law, um, he definitely has seen, you know, he buckled down, do the things that I need to do and it's made a big difference in how he's approached his future career. So I think that that makes a difference. And I started, like I said, I started my business when he was two, which I'm telling how old I am, but he’s now 22 so, you know, and graduated from college and he's still, you know, I appreciate, you know, the fact that I was able to kind of balance all of those different things there. Are there anything that you think that from a single mom perspective that are things that you have learned that you feel like you could share with other single moms about how to, you know, how to balance and how to make sure that you know you are being the best you can be?

Kalilah Wright:     Um, I think the biggest thing is making sure that you're okay by checking in with you. I mean, um, like everyone else, I have my frustrating, you know, moments. I have my moments where I'm, you know, maybe every other day where I'm really annoyed about doing it by myself and you know, and not having the support or help. Um, I will also say that like, lean on your village, like whatever that might look like. Like my family, you know, they're about an hour away and you know, they support like maybe weekends or every other, but sometimes during the week I need support. So, you know, um, I have a local college student who is my babysitter and my aftercare help. Um, so I would really lean on whatever village that you create. And that can be, sometimes I hop on social media and ask everyone is anyone around cause someone, you know, to watch my son for a couple of hours while I go to a meeting. So, you know, it doesn't always have to. I think your village, does that always have to look traditional. It can be something where it is, you know, people that you may not speak to as often or neighbor that you trust. Um, so I think it's just really leaning on those who truly support you and care for your child.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah. So do you have any, like, must do's that you feel like you have to do with your son? So like I fought with my youngest, um, I've picked him up and I dropped him off from school and I always feel like that's like a must do for me because that's like my time that I really try to get to spend and talk to him. Although there's not, cause he's usually playing video games in the car, but you know, that's kind of like our time. Do you have anything like that that you do with your son that like feel like this is something I have to do?

Kalilah Wright:      I mean, not really. Like I do enjoy like I'm giving rides to school, but I mean honestly like if it's something that I just enjoy being and spending like little increments and moments with him. So, you know, if that is either or a pickup or a drop off for, you know, whether it's in between or meeting him somewhere and then, you know, us having like a little moment together. Um, I don't have like the, you know, I think we enjoy, we have like this car and we have like a car dance time and we're always playing music and things like that. But, um, I think just as long as we make that type of time together, um, I'm happy.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah. That's good. That's good. So do you have any other, um, thoughts or plans in terms of launching any other businesses or any other things that you're trying to do? I know sometimes as entrepreneurs in general always have like multiple ideas and thoughts. Um, and I don't want you to spill all your secrets, but I mean, do you have thoughts of adding more businesses or doing additional things?

Kalilah Wright:     Nope. Right now I'm just strictly focused on or bottle. Okay. That's good. I probably, I'm planning to launch a book in 2020.

Shahara Wright:     Oh wow. That's great. You know what you're going to be writing about.

Kalilah Wright:     It'll be about my messages and my journey.

Shahara Wright:      Okay, great. Awesome. So I'm, thank you so much. What could we give for being a part of this? Um, this is our, you know, very first episode. Um, we are just really excited about this. Um, this message. I think that's really important. I think, especially since, for us, single mothers who have full time businesses, there's just not enough, um, information or help or resources around to see other people who are making it work the best that we can. Um, and so I really appreciate you being here to share your story and show other mothers that this can happen for them. So thank you so much. Of course. No problem. Thanks for having me. So tell us a little bit about how to get in touch with you. How to, you know, get message in a bottle. Um, you know, I see you again on social media all the time, so I know you have those, but if there's other ways that we can purchase your product and support you, please let us know.

Kalilah Wright:      The best way to follow us is on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. Um, and it's Mess in a Bottle and you could check out our website at www.messinabottle.com

Shahara Wright:      Awesome. So you guys make sure that you, um, support message in a bottle. We definitely want to support our fellow single moms, help her to build her business and our brand and we'll do it together. If you are interested in learning more about Single Mom CEOs, you can, um, like our face Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSuccess/ and you can also make sure you like our YouTube channel, subscribe to our YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/shaharawright   That's the CEO effect. And you'll definitely see Single Mom CEO and a lot of other business videos there to help you build your business. So once again, I want to say thank you to Kalilah and I look forward to seeing you guys next time. Have a great day. Bye bye. Thank you.


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Single Mom CEO Series Premier

11/5/2019

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    Author

    Shahara Wright is an Attorney, Business Woman and Single Mom.  She understands what has it been like to have the world on your shoulders and feel like you are going to crumble.  But you can't, because you are a single mom! 

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