hahara Wright:    Hi everyone, and welcome Single Mom CEO. I'm so happy to be here. I'm with you guys. Once again, I am Shahara Wright, and today we have with us Tracy Boone, um, another single mom and I just, this is a rarity, in that I just met Tracey and we had a really good conversation and I said, Hey, I got to have you on this show. So I'm so glad that she agreed and took the time to be here. So thank you so much Tracey.

Tracy Boone:      Oh, Oh, really enjoy the meeting. You and I felt like I knew you forever already.

Shahara Wright:     Yes. So we're having a little bit of technical difficulties. You guys is kind of freezing up a little bit, but, um, we're gonna get through this one way or another, so we're going to make that happen. Um, so anyway, Tracey, um, why don't you introduce yourself, tell everyone about you and, and what you do.

Tracy Boone:     Um, my name is Tracy Boone. I actually am the CEO and founder and executive director of Elijah's Path to Healing foundation and a lot of hats just in that. Um, and I'm a single mom. I'm a widow of almost seven years,  as of December 23rd. And I had at the time, he was six years old when we lost my late husband Reed Boone. And so we've had about a seven year journey.  I had a three large gym fitness facilities here in Denver, Colorado. So we're from Denver, Colorado, and we love horses and we are bringing healing and hope to families across the country and hopefully around the world eventually. Um, and just starting a television program to coming up here, um, starting in Thanksgiving day. So, um, things are progressing very quickly. Yeah. So we have a weekly television program now starting, um, on the now network and yeah, in about four weeks less. I'm a mom of a very big 13 year old. Yeah. I love it. He has no sense of, um, uh, let's just say he's a very huge dreamer and I love that. So, um, anyway, that's me.

Shahara Wright:     No, that's a lot. Congratulations on the television show. I'm so happy for you. And so I know one of the first questions I asked you, um, when we first spoke, and I know everybody wants to know is how did you kind of move from doing the gyms to a question work? Um, you know, it with, uh, families who widowed families.

Tracy Boone:     Well, you know, when you have some huge trauma or grief, something like this happens, happen to you. One of the things that you do find out very quickly that if you use what you've been through to help others, it actually really helps you. Um, it helps others. But this just so that the ones that use this to help others really do well, but the ones that haven't made it. Um, and in what we have been through, so it doesn't even seem like an option to us. It's just like a call that we have on our life and that we've answered, you know. But, um, we went from the gym industry, you know, gyms are very busy and they're very hard. It's very hard, intense business. And we had three 40,000 square foot facilities here with over 15,000 members and a hundred employees. And it was just a big animal.

Tracy Boone:     And you know, I'm a faith girl and I just really believe with all my heart that God led me out of that and into what we're doing now. Um, he brought a Jewish man to by my facility, so I was like, well, that's pretty awesome. And he bought my facilities. Um, you know, it just, it was getting harder and harder to do by myself and my son. You know, one of the challenges that I was really under was my business was so busy being just me that my son suffering and I had to make a change and he had to be homeschooled for a bunch of different reasons. And, um, I had to make a change. I had to make a hard decision and that's what we did. So I made it. I chose him.

Shahara Wright:     Yes, yes. That's what we do, right? As single moms, we choose our kids. And, you know, one of the themes I think that all of us have is that, you know, we've decided to build our businesses around our kids. And I think that's the most awesome thing. I think, um, that we can do, we can choose to do that.

Tracy Boone:    Yeah. And the one thing I did learn coming from that experience, I know what I don't want, right. Coming out of that into this, and now I can shape this foundation since we're the founders, right. I can make it look like a doable situation and I know what I don't want, which is huge. You know, to know what you don't want is really important.

Shahara Wright:    So I think it's a big deal. I think it really is. And I think, um, being able to say, you know what, I really don't want that. And so I'm not going to do that. I think there was a hard lesson for me to learn, um, literally like I would know I don't want that. But I would think, well, I've got gotta do it anyway, even though I don't want to; no, you don't.

Tracy Boone:    Oh, right. Oh, I have a choice. That's great. Yeah. So, yeah, but I mean it, you know, it's, it's the coolest thing is be able to do something with this and to be an example for your kid, you know, to say, look, we can create something from nothing. Right. Right. And really make a difference. It's been such an amazing journey. And he and I were just filming the other day and he's just the personality anyway. And he just, you know, I said, son, why do you want to do this? And he said, you know what? I want to do this because it's kind of like a sneeze. You just got to get it out. He goes, there's just something in me, the test.

Tracy Boone:     Okay. I mean, we could, yes. For three years. So it's been a lot of developments and things and nouns are to move, which is really fun. But to be able to be an example and to show him that you can make decisions and choices in your life and shape your life the way you'd like to see it. Right. Um, so that's, that's one of the things I wanted to share is it's we are a true example to our kids. And the one thing I have made I'm very diligent in my life is to make sure he knows that he counts. He's number one number and in my life, and I have to be very focused on that. If I'm not focused on that, it gets away from me and then all of a sudden I'm seeing some behaviors that I'm not loving. Right. So it's very, you know, when you're, you, you, you, I'm sure you get that.

Shahara Wright:     Absolutely. Absolutely. I think it's important, you know, that we figure out kind of that balance. Um, because I know, um, for me, sometimes I'm like, OK, I, there are things that I need to do that, like I just need to do and I just can't focus on you right now. Um, and being able to set that expectation like, Hey, you know, mommy has to focus here, but as soon as I'm done with that, we'll, you know, get back to, you know, whatever else. Yeah.

Tracy Boone:     Right. Yeah, sure. You acknowledge them and say, Hey, you're on the radar, you know, let me get these things done.  But it has to be sacred. I mean, you know, when you have your, a significant other there, you kind of can slow, but when it's just you, you have to really be diligent with your time. And that's, I think that's one of my books. I think that is my most valuable asset is my time. Yeah. And when somebody infringes on it, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm not very nice.

Shahara Wright:     I'm not very nice there. Yes, I know. I know. And that's the best way to get on my bad side is wasting my time. Um, yeah. That's just not going to happen for you yet.

Tracy Boone:    Yeah, you too? And I've got a few people say, Hey, what is this thing about your time? I said, try and be a single mom and you'll find out real quick.

Shahara Wright:     I mean, I don't think a lot of, I think that's something that doesn't get appreciated as much because when you're by yourself, um, you know, your schedule is everything. And so, you know, you are having to be not just where somebody has in your business, but wearing so many hats at home, um, in that you, you know, you've got so many hats that you have to like really pay attention to how you're scheduling your time and where it goes. Um, because if you don't, um, you know, balls get dropped and that's the last thing we want to see happen. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So you said something, Tracey, that I think is amazing because I always say this is something that I can never do because I don't have any patients at all whatsoever. Um, but you homeschool your son. Um, so I want to know how in the world do you make that happen? Um, cause I can't even imagine just my brain is like not even allowing me to go there.

Tracy Boone:     Well, you know, and honestly the, the, the, the kids can go to school and do great in school. It's, I think it's an amazing thing. First of all, I want to say that I think it's an awesome thing if they can do that. Um, my son, unfortunately when we were in the school system after my husband died, he was just struggling really hard. And you know, we found out later that he had an interruption in his nervous system, the development, his nervous system from wow. So that was why he was struggling so hard in school. I mean, I saw my son's hall art. Yeah, well his behaviors were, and they weren't matching up and I just, as a mom, you just know that something isn't right. But you know, he needed me and I was running the facilities working, I can't even tell you how many hours a day. And my son looked at me and they looked at me at the school and I knew that he was in the wrong place and I had to make a choice again. I chose him and you know, God always makes a way when you choose, when you do the right thing and you listen. And I just knew in my heart it was the right thing.

Tracy Boone:     Well the lean on and homeschooling. So I kind of took their path and said, Hey, show me how you do this quickly. Because I don't have a lot of what time. And so they coached me and had me homeschooling in no time. And I got be, I get to witness some of the coolest things and my kid learn and grow as an art. And you have to learn how to go. I mean, I go to, I go to conventions like well, I think to prepare myself on how to do this, but again, it's, it's just, it's the hand that I've been dealt when my son needed me. And I know that anybody listening that if your son or daughter needed you and this was the Avenue, you'd figure it out. You know? And if they don't need it, great. But if they do, you'll do it. You know? That's just what moms do. We do what our kids need and it all seems to work out right. So that's how you do it. I never saw myself homeschooling, however, it's a miracle. Um, but it is, like I said, one of the most, I think I will always treasure the time there was, you know, there's moments where I won't, but yeah. Yeah.

Shahara Wright:    No, I love it. I really do. So let's talk about, you know, the, the nonprofit organization and, you know, I, I definitely understand, um, you know, just from, you know, being on boards, being a lawyer that's set up nonprofits, you know, kind of being around how difficult that is. And I think in some ways it's more difficult than starting your own business. Um, so how are you kind of finding the time and the ability to get the message out about what you do, uh, so that you can assist other families?
Tracey Boone:                                                You know? Um, I have an amazing, at owning gyms, you really learn how to set up your community. You know, you go out and you find people and you let them know. So I've kind of, I spent the last quarter of a century doing that other in a different arena. So it's kind of a natural thing for me. Oh. So it's a lot of collecting emails. And I know a lot of people, I'm already, because of what I do and who I know. And, um, but you know, I, like I said, I'm a faith girl and when you're called to do something, you show up and God shows up and things happen. Um, you know, I had no idea within that other than a couple of weeks ago I'd be doing a television show. So who was obviously taking this to a whole new level and they have 30 million followers. So that kind of solves a lot of problems for me.

Tracy Boone:     But you know, in the first few years you're, you're in the development stage and you're real, this is a, this is a worldwide global. Yeah, thanks. So it takes time to really develop and say, what is the need and how are we going to solve it? And that takes a lot of time to do enough and now right behind me and the last year, it's been about finding the right people to be in the right place. And now we're just, you know, again, we're at kind of at that leap off point right now. And so we're just getting the word out through that, through Facebook, through, um, just communications like that. Just word of mouth. And I know so many of these people, but we do equine assisted philosophy. And what that is, you know, when I last read the hospice, um, therapist handed me a stack of brochures and just some therapy for your son and yourself.

Tracy Boone:      Right? And so I went through a brochure. I couldn't imagine myself the office after that, but I ran across a brochure with men on a horse. But you know what, that got them out. And it ended up being just this amazing journey. I'm now certified in it and I now have the facilities across the United States to, to have access to which opens up a whole other door. Cause all those people know people and you know, it's amazing how many people know breathing people and they need help. So, you know, it's just kind of spreads like wildfire. When you solve a problem, it seems to spread. That's true. That's true. And that's so great. So in terms of, you know, you know, finding time for you in the midst of homeschooling and getting your, you know, nonprofit off the ground and all the other wonderful things that you do.

Tracy Boone:      How do you find time for you? Well, you know, that is again, the air arena that I was in for so long. I was a trainer, a personal trainer, and I had to listen to my own voice. And it was a process because this is the stuff I know. Um, you know, I had to really look at my schedule and what I need. I'm up at 5:00 AM I do my workout, I watch, um, inspirational things and I spend my time, um, with God in the morning. And then at 6:30 a.m., I have a conference, zoom call. All the people very, very diligent with that. But if I don't get my workout in, I'm just off. So I've learned what works for me, what does, and I've had to be really diligent with it and just say, what do I need and then I need put it in place and then I don't need to move. And it's just a lot of the things that I've already, but I used to, did I actually teach people, so yeah.

Tracy Boone:     I actually have a prayer call that I do all the widows and the fatherless kids out there. So from 6:30 a.m. to 7 a.m. we have a prayer call that everybody calls in to the zoom and we pray over them, we minister to them and that's what I do. So I have to be ready and on my game at six 30 to seven. Right. And then, you off my day goes. But I just make sure I how that time in the morning and it's very important. And then, you know, once a week I really try to just have a time where I can just go off and be by myself and just kind of refreshing cause that's me. I'm a person that if I go off and just have just quiet time for myself, then that's, that's really helpful for myself. So that's what I try to do. Um, and sometimes I do really well at it, another time, the times, I don't know, one the weeks I don't, it's not a great thing, so I've got to be diligent with it.

Shahara Wright:     That's good. That's good.

Tracy Boone:      And you know, honestly horses are big for me. Yeah. So if I go pet on a horse, they're good.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah. You, you get to enjoy that and it's good that you can kind of combine what you do and give yourself self-care, um, in that. So, um, you know, what do you find like is your biggest struggle.

Tracy Boone:     You know, as you're trying to manage all these things, what do you find like is the most difficult thing that you have? The advantage? No, I think, um, what I feel very spread thin. I think my anxiety goes up and I think that's something that I'm really working on right now because you know, when you just feel like, Oh my goodness, I've got to get to that though, that, that and you start getting overwhelmed instead of just being okay in the moment I'm good. Um, I feel like my anxiety level raises and then that's not great for anybody. Right. And then, you know, thinking of the horse, you know, I'm going to do a lot of these analogies with the show and all that, but with a horse, they are the ultimate, um, prey animal. So they respond to your emotions. Well, think about your child.

Tracy Boone:    They are, they are the ultimate prey human right. They will respond to you correctly and accurately if you watch their emotions, if you watch their body language, if you watch and pay attention to what you're doing. And so that's something that I'm just really being, I'm really heightened in right now. I'm just watching and I'm just watching how, to me, if I was in an arena, what would I be really evaluating about myself? Because, you know, just to be in, Oh my God. And to um, think for self-care. If you're in the moment and you just breathe and you take things one thing at a time and just keep that piece down at peace within you and just relax and just say this, the person with the most peace wins and Rudy Giuliani said that, you know, during nine 11, that's how we did it. The person that had the most peace won in every, all the arenas. And I just think that's really important because nobody wins when you're heightened like that. And so that's one of the biggest challenges I'm facing right now with everything going on is I've just got to slow things down one thing at a time. Keep my anxiety, be, be real, present about my, and mindful of my anxiety and, and cause that's what I do. I just kind of get a little heightened when there's too much going on. Right. That's me.

Shahara Wright:     I do the same thing. I do the same thing. Yes. And this sneaks up on you because you think you got it all and it's like, wait, what happened? Yes. I totally get it. I totally get it. So thank you so much Tracey for, you know, giving us your insight and your thoughts. I know I'm you guys, we have a little bit of technical difficulty, but hopefully you got the gist of everything that Tracey was saying. Um, we, um, definitely enjoy having you here. So tell everyone how they can connect with you. Um, get in touch with the organization. How can we support you? W what, what can we do?

Tracy Boone:    Always donating is a great thing, especially now because we're starting a telecom the gym program, so it costs money. But, um, you know, my website is, I, you know, if you can remember this, I wrote a book called I can finish well. Um, and the website is http://www.icanfinishwell.com  and then on there you can see a tab called foundation. Um, and I'm can give a free gift. Kind of a really neat thing from, um, my husband. If you want to text at 26786 the word heroic. My husband wrote a piece called, um, the power from within. He was a champion athlete and it was a one, it's just an amazing piece. So if that's something that they want to do, um, it's a free, a free gift from us. Um, I give it to everybody I talk to cause it's just an amazing piece and everybody gets something from.

Shahara Wright:     Nice. Thank you so much and we'll definitely have um, links and the information for you guys as well. So, um, as you're watching this, you'll, you'll have it all available to you on our blog, um, on YouTube and Facebook and everything like that. So thank you so much Tracey, for being here and sharing your story. Um, I look forward to watching your television show and I also look forward to for us, you know, to connect more. Um, so thank you so much for sharing your, your time with us.

Tracy Boone:    I definitely have, yeah, our show too. So actually this is going to be, I look forward to getting to know you even more.

Shahara Wright:    Awesome. Okay. You guys. Well, that's it for Single Mom CEO this week. Thank you so much you guys for being here. Um, I look forward to seeing you next time we talk. Make sure you connect with us on Facebook on, and we'll get your, we have everything for us, but you can go to single moms, CEO one, I think it's single moms, CEO success on Facebook. Um, and YouTube is, um, Shahar, right? So YouTube.  Um, and again, you know, I'm going to make sure that you have all the links so you don't have to remember everything, but make sure you go there and do it. All right? And we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.

A graduate of York University and Osgood Hall Law School in Toronto, Canada, global entrepreneur and #1 bestselling author Lauren A. Cohen is an attorney licensed in both the U.S. and Canada. Lauren is an expert concierge immigration and business advisor boasting a stellar track record of success. Lauren has first-hand knowledge of the visa process, having herself immigrated from Canada in 2001, and later becoming an American citizen. In 2008, Lauren started e-Council Inc., an internationally-acclaimed company focused on providing strategic full-service solutions for businesses seeking capital and foreigners seeking access to the U.S. market with a special focus on professional business plans and the EB-5 Immigrant Investor Program as well as all other investment business immigration matters.

Continuing in the tradition of sound strategic solutions, ScaleUP Enterprises, LLC was established in 2018 and ScaleUPCheckUP is Lauren’s newest initiative - an online growth assessment checkup tool for growing businesses in ScaleUP mode seeking to ensure they are built on a strong foundation by way of the ScaleUP 3-Step Success System involving Assessment, Diagnosis and Delivery. The mission is to anticipate and overcome challenges while providing access to a collaborative network of high-touch vetted professional services providers to address gaps so businesses are able to ScaleUP painlessly and successfully. Designed in response to the challenges faced by so many entrepreneurs that simply do not understand the critical importance of proper professional guidance, or are afraid that the costs of protection are too high, ScaleUPCheckUP is poised to revolutionize the professional services industry and the way in which professional services are delivered.

Lauren also recently established Find My Silver Lining, a non-profit whose goal is to inspire others to persevere through challenging times and focus on the bright side as they strive to lead fulfilling lives. Lauren has received numerous awards and recognitions including a 2018 award through the Florida Association of Women Lawyers as a “Leader in the Law”. Lauren was recently invited to join the expert faculty of CEO Space International, a top-tier global training and networking organization. A regular writer and contributor to magazines, books and other media globally for several years, Finding Your Silver Lining in the Business Immigration Process is Lauren’s first book, which became a #1 bestseller during its first month! The proceeds of Lauren's book are being used to fund “Find My Silver Lining”. Lauren’s second book, which is focused on the franchise industry, is entitled “A Burning Desire to Succeed: Striking the Perfect Franchise Match” and is currently available as an e-book. 


https://www.scaleupcheckup.com/
https://ecouncilinc.com/

Divorced, single mother of three young men 23, 21 and 18.
Born in Tampa, FL to two awesome parents before being planted in Virginia, thanks to military orders for her father. Currently residing in Woodbridge, VA, aka “The DMV.”

Married 10 years prior to becoming a single parent. A challenge that turned into an incredible journey. A career in corporate America, while other gifts were being cultivated and put to work. Often called a hustle. However, blessed to have turned it into a lifestyle worth living. One that allowed her to be everywhere she needed to be for her “three Kings.”

Outreach, entrepreneurship, mentoring single mothers, teaching and being a resource to the community. Her passion to serve has shown up in all that she has shared over the 18 years and everywhere she goes.  She is a wealth of information and life hacks are her specialty. Problems all but run from her. The challenges that come with single motherhood, somehow, are neutralized by way of many unspoken resources. She has a very unique way of solving what would be some most difficult situations. It’s simply resourcefulness as you’ve never known it.

She a woman with a testimony, having lost her mother two months after being married, and her father two years later, and then being left by her husband at seven months pregnant, with two little boys, and the 3rd to be delivered very soon. WHEW, it was tough! Much to be angry and bitter about. But God!

Faith, perseverance, determination and the Spirit of the Lord have brought her HERE! A minister of the Gospel indeed and speaker with a gift of rapport that wreaks of connection, strength, and wisdom. A lover of all humanity and a serial optimist.
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https://www.facebook.com/SingledLoutLoud101/
http://www.bit.ly/SingeMotherSupperstars ​​

Shahara Wright:     Hi everyone, welcome to Single Mom CEO. I'm so excited today as I am. Every time I speak to these amazing women, single moms who are owning their own business and doing their own thing today I have Dietra Jones and I'm really excited to have her here. Um, not only is she one of my friends, um, we met last year, but she's also a single mom. We share so much in common and so I really, she was like one of the first people I said, you know, Hey, can you please be a part of this show because you have so much good stuff to share. Um, so thank you so much for being here Dietra!

Dietra Jones:     Yes, thank you. You're so welcome. I'm so glad to be here. I'm excited. Like you are, you know, stay as exciting, different ventures, so, so glad to be here. Thank you for having me.

Shahara Wright:     Okay, so tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do. 

Dietra Jones:      ​I'm just giving some background. Okay, well, I am Dietra Jones. I live in the DC Metro area. I am the divorce mom of now three young men. They are 23, 21 and now 18 years old. Um, I have, yes, yes, I'm free. So I have 30 plus years of corporate America experience because I was an executive assistant, uh, long before I got married and had my sons. But then once I did, once I found out I was going to be a single mom, nine 11 happened when I had a newborn baby. I thought, you know what? I don't want to be in corporate America anymore. My son's playing sports. I need to be available to them. And my parents are deceased as well. So I had quite a challenge on my hands with kids five and under. So long story short, I walked off my job after six years at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals with the mortgage and three little kids.

Dietra Jones:     I just knew what I was going to do and I knew that God did not create me to be on a job where I have to ask permission to take care of my children and to be the mother that God called me to be. So I left. And so I've done so many things over these last 18 solid years without support, right? Single handed. But I'm going to tell you, God put some great rest and fun in here. And he gave me people like Shahara right. To meet and to collaborate with that could give me some encouragement in my heart that we could work together and make things happen. So I've made all kinds of things happen. Well, nobody's 18 years old, I can almost sell tickets to this experience. So I'm just glad to be able to share it and that's why I'm here today.

Shahara Wright:      Yay. I'm so glad. So yes. So Dietra and I met at a conference last year and you know, we just happened to sit next to each other. Um, kind of during the downtime where everybody was like a bunch of people sitting together and we were just talking and then we realized as we were talking about stuff, you had a lot of, we were both single moms. We both have boys with ADHD. We both run our own business. And so, and we both, you know, really had a passion to help other single mothers. Um, and so, you know, we connected over that. And for me, one of the things I remember talking about is trying to figure out like what I was really excited about. Like what I really, you know, wanted to and talk about. And there's a lot of different things, but one of the things, you know, we'll notice that, you know, I talk about my kids and that, you know, how I set my schedule and my time and I think that's how we ended up really connecting. And so from your perspective, what was that thing that said, okay, I want to do this thing, I want to do this particular business?

Dietra Jones:     Well, I mean for me it had to start with e-commerce because I had $325 that I had to pay a week for childcare. So that's where it started with me. And I knew, you know, I had sold things online before, you know, I was really an entrepreneur in the background. So I start selling stuff online. And so once I did that, it just spawned from there in 2013 when I started selling on eBay. And Amazon, it was the way that I could be at home. And so many of us, we just want to be home more. You know, you have to do dinner, but yet you don't have any money, so how are you going to make this money? So that's what really catapulted me into it because I needed to start making money right away and I wanted other mothers to learn how to do this without being under pressure or being super mad and angry all the time because it gets spilled over onto our children.

Shahara Wright:    Yeah, that's true. And,  I don't know that we really kind of explained exactly what you do. So Dietra, you're with Singled Out Loud and what does Singled Out Loud do?

Dietra Jones:     Well, Singled Out Loud came to me because I used to launch all types of things in ministry because I was in ministry for 15 years. So everything that I did, I always started under the church. And then when I went to this women's conference, a businesswoman from the Washington Business Center pulled me aside and said, why? She said, it's great that you do ministry, but you need to pull your own self out from under this and brand yourself because any event that you leave, you can't take any of this stuff cause it's not branded under your name. So like three weeks later, God drops Singled Out Loud in my lap and I have grown to love it because still it out loud is something God does. For one thing. My heart is turned totally toward God. And so when he singles you out, it will seem like a crisis to you.

Dietra Jones:     But really, he's stretching and growing you. So I wanted people to be able to live a balanced lifestyle because I was also in the music industry. So being able to not be on the hell express, people always try to put you on, okay, you can live your life. Go to jazz concerts, having a glass of wine, just not be drunk with wine. Okay, so singled out loud is a lifestyle worth living because when you bring God glory and your heart is turned towards serving people, the blessings will come and roll your way. So was Singled Out Loud. I help people reinforce their faith. I show them what a faith walk looks like when you're transparent because I'm not for hiding things. I want to live so that people can see that God is more believable and that it is workable and doable. So that's what singled out loud as about bringing people together. God is behind it all. Whether it's retreats, things that you do with your children as a single parent because you often think you can't afford something or that you don't have the time. No, I'm going to show you how to do all of those things and bring it all together while you're at peace.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, and I think that's important and I think especially for single moms, um, well while there are a lot of single mothers, um, you know, you, you realize that they're, they're single, they're moms, single moms out there. I think you don't really have real support groups. You know, we don't really have a true network of people that we rely upon and get help from. Um, because we're all kind of in the rat race kind of. It always seems. And so to me, I think it's important that we learn how to support each other and find ways to do that. And so I like what you do because you've definitely made sure that these moms are so alone and by themselves.

Dietra Jones:     And I absolutely love doing that. It's, that's where the burning is in my heart because I see so many frustrated single mothers out here. They're so frustrated and they're so mad all the time. And I'm always cheerful. I'm always being silly. No matter how bad it is, we are going to have, we don't pull some fun out of this thing. We're going to have some fun and we're going to also make a lot of things free. So we're going to show you how it's workable because a lot of times we're pulled in so many different directions and money is always the number one. But I'm a yeah, we can do it.

Shahara Wright:    Absolutely. Absolutely. So one of the things I know, I know about you and you also said about, is that how you became divorced, um, when your kids were young, you had three kids decided to start your own business. Did you think about in terms of balancing your business, growing your business with having your kids?

Dietra Jones:      Well, for me, I, I found something that goes along with it and it was the great outdoors and adventures. So I put together these, these adventures, family camp, house and camp grounds, um, putting together universal circuits. I always got people to bring their kids out and then our children became a marketing piece. So that allowed me to be able to get us covered because we need to do group sales and group tickets and group happenings. You save a lot of money. And I was able to pass that on to some mothers that couldn't possibly afford to do it. Or if they had six kids, I paid for three. And then people began to give me money and say, do you try, I know you're blessed. You dog on, right? Cause we're going places and we're going to have fun. Hey, everybody goes to work, everybody's got doctor's appointments. No, we're going to have fun with this money, so let's do it. So trying to bring my kids where I didn't need to find a babysitter for me to go out and find a part time job, I didn't want to do that. I wanted to for me to be able to spend more time with them. So that's all I thought about was things that I could do that would include my kids, that would also generate revenue behind it.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, I think that's really important. And I think, um, for, for all of us, you know, we think about what can we do, um, work around that only our schedule but our kid's schedule. I think that's really important, especially in terms of business. So as your boys were growing up, did they understand what you did was a business and your lifestyle?

Dietra Jones:      I don't think they did the beginning because I had a five year old, a three year old and a brand new baby. So they were so little. But when I did things, I walked them through transactions and I made it fun for them. So they didn't know what they were getting, but I knew what foundation I was lying and I was showing them how on Wednesdays before I went to Bible study, I used to do mystery shopping. We used to go to five guys and they'd go check the guys bathroom and come back and say, Oh mommy, the bathroom is really clean. They didn't know what they were doing, but I'd have them on a mission hunting and then our fruit would be free because I would just be simply doing these surveys so we got to eat free. Before we went to Bible study, they got in on, it felt like they were helping mommy. And so as I got older, I opened their bank accounts for them and I was showing them and talking to them while I was doing things. So, needless to say, they'd go and invite all their friends and I would start way ahead of time so the parents can pay little by little whatever you can pay. And everybody ended up being able to go. That's why my seven passenger van always had nine kids in it. It was everybody.

Shahara Wright:     Right, right. And that sounds like so much fun. So I wanted to kind of pivot a little bit because I wanted to talk to you about having a child with ADHD. Now, how old is your ADHD son?

Dietra Jones:     He's 21.  Just turned 21 in September.

Shahara Wright:     So mine is 11. Um, and I think that this is an important issue. One because I think a lot of times, especially in our community, um, ADHD is so misunderstood. Um, and it's not, um, kind of seeing something that should can seriously, um, and so, and especially with your son being, um, 21, I'm sure that the time that you realize there's something going on, there probably wasn't a lot of help around. And just tell me in terms of diagnosis and when you kind of realize, Hey, you know, we need help with, what were you going through and what were you dealing with in terms of doing that?

Dietra Jones:    Well, the first thing is, I mean I worked at Johnson & Johnson Pharmaceuticals, so Conserta is an ADHD drug. So I was very familiar with drug therapy and I was really against it. So it took me two years to even decide to try it because I just didn't, I'm anti-drug, I totally am. I mean I really am. And so when they said that, I said, Oh no, the devil is a liar because I can, I don't have this problem with him at home. And so when they were telling me this and they kept giving him an IEP at school and they even tried to put it on my other son too, but he was always an antagonist. That's how I saw. But of course I never said these words to him, but as a parent, you know, you can use whatever words you want in your head.

Dietra Jones:      He's such an antagonist. So early on, I will always give him, and he's a middle child too, that may have something to do with it, but his focus was so short. So I would, I would give him activities and he was always fiercely competitive too, because he's always envious. And so I let him, I was like, I bet you can't pick up as many toys as Devin. I bet you can't pick as many as Donovan. Set him off on all these different missions and he felt wouldn't special cause he was like, I'll beat you. I beat you. Right. But the room's cleaned up. So that's all I cared about. You know what I mean? I'd sent him on, go get me this and then he finds things. So, I mean, but at school, he was, I had, I swear I repeated the eighth grade. I was at school in classes every day I was there.

Dietra Jones:     And so, um, I tried him on Conserta, but you know what, it made him like a schizophrenic. Um, and so I knew drugs right away and I mean, he'd be scared, he'd be hearing noises. So I said, I don't need, I don't need a doctor telling me he's off of that. What else can we try? Right. So, but he was so agitated, then he didn't eat and I mean he would just be, um, you know, insecurity to about within himself. So all of these things, anxiety that goes along with having ADHD because they're looking around, they're comparing themselves to people. So he got on Adderall finally. And so he calmed down some, but then he started saying he didn't like the way itself, but that's great for you to say that, but now you're going to have to tell mommy what that means. Yeah. So he was on it for a little while and I wouldn't give it to him on the weekends and they would say, well, you have to, because his levels, I was like, listen, that's a level that y'all have a problem with.

Dietra Jones:     I don't give it to him on the weekends cause I don't have a problem at home, but I'm not fighting my son. I can control him, you know? So, but he was wanting for a little while and then I decided I'm going to take them completely off of it and just work with him and it was with his IEP and I finally got to some teachers who understood, because I put him in an all boys' program. It was a coed school, but they were trying this pilot program with all these teachers were males and that worked. Yeah, work. They had basketball hoops in the class. The kids, if they felt at, you know, like they wanted to get up, they could get up and go do stuff that was productive. Right. So that's how I ended up taking him off of it because it can really, it's really such a delicate balance, so you really have to be on top of it completely and it works differently for each child.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's true. I think that's the important thing. And my son, my son is on medication. He's on Adderall as well and it has worked. I was lucky. I think we were very blessed that we did not have to go through a whole bunch of changes in terms of medication, really managing the dosage now like it, but he says it doesn't make any difference, which I is clearly not true.  I could definitely tell the difference between him on meds and not meds, but they're accurate too. Um, but for me, you know, one of the things that happened with my son when we got him diagnosed, he was at six and he was going to first grade and he like from private school to, um, to a public school. And I noticed in private school when he was in kindergarten, actually before then, I had started kind of saying something is not right. Oh, rambunctiousness for a little boy. And I have, so, you know, I was like, this is, this is a whole different kind of thing.

Shahara Wright:     Um, and so when he got to first grade it was, Oh my gosh, he was having the worst time teacher was like, you know, can he even hold the scissors? Does he know how to write? I mean basic stuff that he clearly knew how to do, but he was so overwhelmed because students were much more, the pace was faster, you know, adjust. And so I'm hastened, um, to get him diagnosed and get him, you know. And that even took some time and I think one of my best friends, her daughter has ADHD and she kinda helped me through the process, was not getting any assistance from anybody else. And so we were very lucky in that sense. But I say all that to say that in that process, you do spend a lot of time, you know, away from your business, you're up at the school.

Shahara Wright:     And so how are you managing, trying to run your business through all the lack of, for lack of a better word, drama, having to deal with, to be able to care for your son.

Dietra Jones:      I mean, do you really want to know I'm thankful that I'm a high energy system because I was up all night. I mean, I be pulling all nighters and it was so amazing and funny all the one hand because my son told his mentor, he seems concerned about me. He goes, I don't think my mom ever sleeps. He goes, when I go to bed, she's awake. And when I wake up, she's awake. And so I laughed at that. But he was so concerned that I was never getting any sleep. So that's why I had this thing called after nine is my time because the house was silent between 8:45 and 9:00 PM there were no voices spoken at all. Even as they got older, after nine was my time.

Dietra Jones:      And if you don't to be at the hospital or me to be in jail or, or you're talking to me because I wouldn't mind listing things online to sell during my drop shipping business and all that stuff behind that. And that's how I did it. I would be up all night because in the daytime, I mean, I still need like a cat nap, like you two to four or something like that. But I was in, sometimes day's ran together, but as long as I got those appointments done and got them with their homework done and I could cook my meals on Sundays, I had like restaurant day and I organize my time cooking for the week on Sunday cause I never knew what might happen. Cause remember I didn't have anybody except me. So whatever came up I had to handle it all.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's really important. Especially having a schedule. I know for one of the things that I do in terms of that is, you know, my clients all know that I have kids and they all know like, you know, I pick up and drop off my son. I'm like all my kids, all my clients know that. Right. You know, this is the time I have the work between this time and this time. And if you make it happen in between these times, you wait till the next day. So it's a big condition to understand like I'm this. Even, you know, [my clients] are like, Oh I know you were dropping off your son off.  I waited until I know I can get you. And I was like, okay, yeah, you know, you have to block that time off. I definitely think that you have to ensure, um, that you keep a tight schedule and it makes sure that people are clear about your time, whether it's your kids, whether it's, um, you know, your clients or whomever.

Shahara Wright:    With that, I think keeping that tight schedule, um, helps you, um, ensure that you are able to, you know, consistently, you know, be good at whatever it is that you're doing. So I wanted to kind of move into that, you know, between, you know, kids and the world. I think a lot of conversation with the moms that I've had so far is really trying to find that on the time, um, times where you just have, for you to relax until you not worried about worried about your kids or whatever. So what did you do to find the time?

Dietra Jones:     Well, I had a heck of a support network and a village. I mean extraordinary because between my neighbors that were next door and we all knew each other from as you were pregnant having our children. And I had people who could either go by, check on my sons or I would set up play dates. But remember I had three and it, remember Demetrius was the ADHD kid so you couldn't just send him anywhere because the next thing you know your kids will be arguing. Everybody was fine until Demetrius came. Okay be careful. He would pretty much go somewhere to his own friend's house cause he tried to share friends that didn't work. It's like boy, come on. No, no. So getting a network is when you're a single mom, especially if you have limited family support. And I did because my parents were deceased and my brother was out of the country.

Dietra Jones:     So set up an incredible, and that's what I did. I wouldn't, I would see when something's that would show, do I want to go to who else wants to go? Then I'd have my kids place at these places with people that I absolutely could even turn my phone off because these are people who knew they could be Dietra Jones if I'm not there and something goes down, do whatever you would do. Cause they know me that well and so that was so important and precious to me and that's what I did. I would find something I wanted to do, but you know, sometimes, I mean, if you can work it in last minute that's cool. And sometimes I could, you know, I also had a good relationship with their dad so I would also like to find time to go away maybe like every three or four months. I might go somewhere for a weekend and he honestly would come to our house cause he didn't have his own and watch the guys while I was gone because he wanted them to be in their own space. So I would say maintaining an amicable relationship with the noncustodial parent nomad. This woman said, it's really important no matter what they are doing. Get your understanding so they can come and, pretend for about two or three days and you go and do whatever you're going do, do it.

Dietra Jones:     Get away, get your time in. Amen. Hallelujah. That's fine. But can you pretend on the weekend of such, right, right. Yeah. Just, just for these two days. Hold it. Now thinking about that, you know what, I guess other advice, I mean, do you have any do's or don'ts in terms of running your own business and being in a single mom? Um, for other women out there? The most important thing and the worst thing that you can do is to start doing something that you hate. Just for the money. There's no such thing as just for the money. You're going to catch hell, okay. It's going to be in one area or another. Do not do, I don't care what everybody else is doing. Do what you love to do and the money will come. I promise you, every single passion that I have that God has given me execute and it comes with it.

Dietra Jones:     Right? That's what I'm saying. Find what you like and talk to other mothers and don't be MDs. Okay? That's one thing. Don't do that. Genuinely have your heart clear. Talk to people because you'll get a lot of information. I call her recon, Kathy, your eyes and your ears and your mind open, right? Because you have to create one. If there is no opportunity, create one, right? Be afraid, never want opposition. It just doesn't matter. Other people don't. They won't comprehend your skill level on the angle that you're coming from. It's okay. Do it. Do it. And don't be afraid. Find people like me to support you. And Orthodox is only certain people. I'll be like, Shahara girl, this sounds crazy, but I don't have the time. No one else needs to understand. Long as you got your front-line people talk to them and ignore the rest of them.

Shahara Wright:      Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much for that. So Dietra why don't you tell us how we can contact you, um, how we can buy from you. How can we support you and your business?

Dietra Jones:    Well, you can find me at singled out loud on every platform Singled Out because God singled me out and out loud, loud testimony that they won't be able to ignore them. I'm on every platform, whether it's Instagram, Facebook, my name is Deirdre Jones. I have begun scoping again on Periscope. You can find me there. You can also, yeah, you can also go to http://www.bit.ly/SingeMotherSupperstars. That's what it stands for because I show single mothers how to become something that you call brand ambassadors. The people that you see that agreeing you when you come in the stores. Please understand that we are making $22 an hour. And it's funny because people have said, Oh it's so nice of you to volunteer. I'm like, no, but I don't have to explain it. Remember, we don't have to explain.

Dietra Jones:     So I show you how to like the other weekend I didn't have to ask her. I mean there's so many opportunities that you can get out and remember we're single. Hello? Yes. Get out, meet people, feel productive. Get a check and be able to support your family. So yes, the intra Jones and singled out loud anywhere and I gave you the link, but when you inbox me on any of those platforms, I'm here for your support. Let's do this and we can with dignity and respect. We don't have to compromise our characters or our bodies. Y'all don't believe. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you so much.

Shahara Wright:     Sure. I always love talking to you. I'm so glad that you were able to come here and to share you guys and make sure you reach out to the teacher. We'll have all the links and stuff available as well. If you want to hear more about Single Mom CEO. Then you can find this on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/shaharawright. That's my name. Shahara Wright.

​We also have a Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSucccess. And so you can find us at all of these places. Connect with us here more. You have more great women coming. So thank you and I look forward to seeing you next time. Bye bye.

Nichole Wilson is a certified sign language interpreter who currently resides in Pearland, Texas.  She is a graduate of Northeastern University in Boston Massachusetts with a Master’s degree in Leadership/Nonprofit Management.  She is also currently working on a second Master’s degree in Communications.  Nichole is a single mother to a beautiful, vibrant daughter named Zeni’ Alyn who was diagnosed with autism at the age of three.  Every Wednesday in her private group, Autism Moms Are Beautiful with Nichole Wilson she does free giveaways for the moms.  AMAB Magazine page on Facebook reaches over 400,000 people monthly.

Nichole believes in encouraging Autism Moms.   Nichole created an anthem song entitled, Autism Moms Rock , which currently has over 62,000 views on Facebook.   This music video featured Autism Moms and their children on the spectrum to bring awareness. Nichole has performed, Autism Moms Rock at various events including the Special Moms Dinner November 2018, Safe Diversity and was honored by Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee,  July 2, 2019.   Nichole presented a great testimony at the AMAB Award Ceremony on March 17, 2019 at the Bisong Gallery.  Nichole presented  Autism Moms Are Beautiful at the Alvin ISD conference for disabilities in April 2018.  Nichole presented the first AMAB Award Ceremony at the Houston Museum of African American Culture on April 22, 2018 and is excited to present the 2nd annual AMAB Award Ceremony on Sunday, March 17, 2019 at the Bisong Gallery.  All winners received an award.  The winners also received a certificate from Sylvester Turner (Mayor of the City of Houston).  Nichole also completed sessions with Dr. Ali Griffith who is an Autism Mom and Business Coach.  Nichole supports the various organizations around the Houston area including Special Moms where she was the Guest Speaker on February 22, 2019.  Nichole will also be the Guest Speaker for “Out of the Blue” with artist Joseph Dixon who works for Avondale House painting the beautiful faces of children with Autism.  Nichole is a single mom who will sit on the panel for “Single Mom’s Empowerment Conference”, which will be held on Saturday March 30, 2019 and she was also the Keynote Speaker at Beyond the Walk on Saturday April 27, 2019.

Nichole has served on the committee for The Alzheimer's Association in 2017.  Nichole was also on the committee for Ready Women Inc. in 2016 and 2017.  Nichole is currently on the Friends and Family Board for Avondale House.  Throughout her time spent working on the committee of Ready Women Inc.,  Nichole has learned the value of staying positive and handling oneself with poise.  Nichole, who strongly believes in giving back to the community, is the founder of Autism Moms Are Beautiful and the Editor-in-Chief of AMAB Magazine.

As an experienced speaker, financial coach, bestselling author, and former financial advisor, Jen Fontanilla has been in the finance industry for 15 years and helps entrepreneurial women take control of their finances so they gain clarity, hope, and confidence to live out their true passion and purpose.  Her focus is to help them identify the habits and money stories that are holding them back and empowering them to level up to create transformative, lasting change.

Connect with Jen at:
Connect with me on Facebook www.facebook.com/jenfontanilla or @jenmoneycoach
Instagram @jen.fontanilla
GET YOUR FREE GUIDE:  10 Mistakes Solopreneurs Make When It Comes to Their Money at www.jenfontanilla.com/gettheguide

Shahara Wright:      Hi everyone. Welcome to Single Mom CEO today with asked me today. Oh my goodness, I can't talk. Today we have Jennifer Fontanilla and I'm really excited to have Jennifer and I know I say that about every guest. I just might as well just stop saying that. I'm really excited and just start off with the whole excitement thing. I always love the ladies that we get a chance to talk to because they are so inspiring to me and I know that they will be inspiring to everyone else. And Jennifer, I met, um, I think a year ago, maybe a little bit longer. Um, yeah, about a year ago, um, through a, an event. And so we kind of stayed friends via Facebook. And so when I started Single Mom CEO, she was one of the people that I said I definitely have to have on this show. So thank you Jennifer.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Oh my gosh. Thank you.

Shahara Wright:     So Jennifer, why don't you introduce yourself and tell the audience a little bit about who you are.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Sure. Well, hi everyone. Welcome. Thanks for being here and watching. My name's Jen and I've been in the financial services industry for about 15 years and originally I started as a financial advisor. So I have experience in insurance and retirement planning and investments and all that kind of stuff and went through the market crash. So I know what it's like to go through something like that and seeing what clients go through, but also at the end of it, you know, seeing the ones that made good decisions, how they weather the storm. And then slowly I decided, you know, I felt that there was a discrepancy where I, I just always felt as an advisor there's, there's things that you work on it, there's those steps, right? And I realized we need to take a step back because some people haven't gotten the budgeting down the credit is not where it needs to be and all those types of things, but everybody's trying to jump into, I need to invest.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And so it bothered me that the foundation wasn't there. It bothered me that, you know, as an advisor, you don't really address those things. You kind of throw somebody a budget sheet. But you know that people aren't really going to do it. You just know they're not gonna do it. And so I decided that I needed to shift the business and a lot of things were changing in the securities, which was an investment world. And so I realized I wanted to transition more into the financial and money coaching. And so, you know, it gave me more autonomy. I felt that it was a better place for me. I felt like I can really make that impact by helping people, making those decisions at a fundamental level where it's like, okay, let's start, let's start on the right split, let's understand what we're doing. Then we can build upon that because, you know, sometimes it'd be backwards.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Then people would be like, Oh wait, now I can't invest. Or now I can't pay for my insurance. Because a lot of the foundation wasn't built properly. And so one of my focuses is that I love helping women, especially ones that are solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, because that's the, that's such a unique space. You know, we deal with so many different things. I mean even where here, you know, Single Mom CEO, same, same I thing, you know, same idea where we have unique situations. And so I love that space and I love supporting women, make those decisions. Especially, you know, in the, you know, the coaching world and the entrepreneurial world. There are so many things to buy. There are so many things that I'm moving parts. And so I really love helping women make that, um, make that foundation strong so that everything that they build upon is this Olympic followed.

Shahara Wright:      That's so good. And I think you're right. It's so needed. And I think even with that, there's so few people that really understand that unique situation, especially when you're dealing with entrepreneurs, um, that you know, your income is not always guaranteed. Um, and so I think, you know, to have someone in the financial planning world that understands that really makes a difference. So, um, yeah, I think that's such a needed, um, aspect of, of what you do.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Thank you.

Shahara Wright:      So from your business, were you always on your own or were you working for a company and then decided to go on your own?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     It's actually kind of been on my own. Um, you know, because from the beginning, it has always been a contract, so it's, they're familiar, you know, 1099 so you're pretty much on your own. There was never a guaranteed paycheck. You know, I asked some reserves in the very beginning and, you know, you burn through that fast and, and it's interesting because you know, you, for some of you that have that space of, you know, you had that job and that guaranteed paycheck and you hated it. You hated that job. You couldn't wait to leave. But then, you know, as you go through the transition, you're like, Oh no, it wasn't so bad.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Right. You go through those things and you, you realize, um, that, Oh my gosh, this is so crazy. And um, but no, from the beginning it's always been, you know, on a contractual basis. Um, and so that was an interesting, you know, transition where you're so used to every two weeks that's like so easy to plan your budget. Everything was so easy to plan, plan. And then when I made that transition, when I, you know, I was working, offered reserves, you know, at the same time you start, you just always in the back of your mind and you start seeing this, okay, you just know in your mind that that resource is depleting and you have to build this. And so it's this thing that you juggled from the get go. So it's been a roller coaster, but you know, that's, I think that's the thrill that we love about it is that it's exciting. You're, you're a creator, you're making things happen, you're helping people solve their problems. And yes, I think that's what makes all of it exciting.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah. I, I think you're right. It does make an exciting, sometimes nerve wracking, but exciting at the same time. So as we all know, this a Single Mom CEO, so you are in fact a single mom. Do you have a boy or girl?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I have an eight year old boy going on 17.

Shahara Wright:     I have, um, two and my youngest is 11, and I swear I'm, and he's like 45, like the same age as me. And I'm like, Oh my God, I just can't with you. So

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I know. Totally get it. Totally. I'm right behind you.

Shahara Wright:     So in juggling, you know, yourself, your business and, you know, being a single mom, how do you work around your schedule? I know we had a good conversation, you know, pre interview, talking about your speaking engagements and things like that. So I know you do a lot of speaking. So how do you kind of work around that schedule of being there for your son and, and traveling for your speaking?

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Yes, great question. Um, first I have to thank God for my parents. They're both retired. Ironically, I handle their accounts so I know they did very well and I'm so blessed that they, you know, they did a great job. And my mom, it's funny with my dad and I joke about it like, yeah, mom did really, really good and I'm saving and uh, they're like my poster children of what you should be doing. But because the them and um, thank goodness are retired, I have them. So I'm, I know not everybody has that resource. You know, to, to go to the grandparents. Um, but you know, for them, you know, they, they, they love the grandson. His name is CJ, Christopher Jordan. And so thankfully I have them when I travel, but it's, it's hard, you know, it's one of those things where, okay, what's the least amount of time it can be gone, what's the earliest flight I can get?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     What's the earliest I can book back home? And, you know, just trying to stay in touch through, you know, messenger manger kids through the iPad or whatnot. Um, so that makes it tough on, you know, it's really about scheduling and telling them ahead of time like, okay here or even if I don't have to like leave out of town. It really is time management to just be able to travel. I have to be very informative. I'm like, okay, I'm going to be gone from like, even if it's as simple as like had to be gone from, you know, 7:30 a.m. when I go, cause I live in LA, everybody, so you know, traffic, you know, it's, it's like it takes two hours to get somewhere that's five miles away. And so I think I'm still thankful for things like zoom webinars and stuff like that. But you know, it's, it's very important to communicate, okay, I need, can you watch him from this to you take them to school, you know, can you pick them up and that type of thing.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      So it's just about communication and being able to schedule and plan ahead and, um, and for me to communicate that to them. And, and thank God I've had, um, very, very supportive women in my life too. I think I would, um, I'm currently publishing a book and there were times when like, you know, I felt bad it was the weekend and, and my son is like, he's going to be bored. And so I've had friends who like, you know, do you want me to take them? And thankfully they had kids too. I'm like, I'll give you money, you know, that way he's not forced. So, you know, you really, I think every other day it really comes down to have you built that support system, whether it's family, friends, you know, you really, really have to build some kind of support system around you so that you can figure out how to maneuver around your business and you know, have that time with your child at the same time.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, no, I think that's really important. I think a lot of, um, moms, you know, definitely feel like, yes, the support system, um, has to be strong, um, and being able to be there. Do you engage him at all in your business or do you make sure that he just has something else completely to do?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I try to engage them to the point where it's enough for his age, but I do joke in my mind that, yeah, you know, like there's going to be a day where you're going to be working the conference and might have a lot. You get a pass off sent to the back or whatever. And um, but why it was so important. And since, um, I think when he was three, I remember this was the first memory I had. I was in the kitchen. Of course, I'm practicing a presentation and I'm walking around. So I looked like a crazy person because I'm talking to myself. And so he's, I think he was three at the time. And he goes, well, what are you doing? And I said, Oh, I'm trying to see my speech. It's just like, Oh, can I do it? You know, think little things like that I would engage him.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And then so even along the way he would see, you know, something like this, like a, a zoom call. And he, it was so funny because he is, he's always around me, you know, because you have that flexibility in your schedule. And, and ladies, I know there's times when you're like, Oh no, another day off from school. Like some people I see on Facebook, they get excited. I don't, I don't get excited cause now I'm like, okay, that's, I feel like that's one day away from my time that I would have been working. But you know, all in good balance, but you know, he would get to the point where he would recognize certain people that I was going on zoom call meetings or he would recognize, Hey, that person live on Facebook. So it's interesting because it's not like everybody has an opportunity to take their child to traditional workplace, but, but as you know, a lot of times your home is your workplace.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      And so he's been immersed in it. So in, in that regard, he's seen the different things I've done. Um, he, he understands that, you know, I have to, you know, not all my travel is like fun. I mean, I tried to make it fun, but, you know, it's not like, Hey, I'm going to no vacation. So he's, he's starting to see that world where, okay, you're going out of town for another conference. And I stay in communication with him when I'm gone so that he understands, like, okay, okay, it's two more days. Okay, I'm gonna come back tomorrow morning. So, you know, depending on what it is I'm doing, he's, he's seen the different things I've been involved with along the way.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah, that's good. I think, um, you know, that's important. I don't really think my kids know what I do. They know I'm a lawyer. Um, and I see some aspects of it, but I don't think I've ever really, truly engaged them in, um, what I do. Um, so I always find it interesting and how other women are incorporating kids and their business, because I probably would've done the complete opposite and probably kept them away from as much legal stuff as I could. So I find that interesting. And I think that's good. And I, and especially with travel, um, because I know this year I reduced my travel significantly. It was, to me it was becoming more stressful because of the schedules and the things that he was doing and getting into and all that kind of stuff, that it was more stressful for me. So how do you find it for yourself? You know, trying to manage all that, that you are kind of managing your own stress of dealing with being gone, uh, and making sure that he does everything he needs to do. And you know, grandparents, um, always allow the kids to do a whole lot more than you would ever let them do. I know my mom does anyway. Sure. Stuff was still is running smoothly and they haven't, you know, gone all Lord of the flies on you while you're gone.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      I was just talking about that book recently. It's funny you brought it up. Um, but yes, I um, for me, I'm a stickler for self-care. If anything, I'm really good at. I am, I got that nailed down like two ways. Science, I mean, I practice meditation. I almost said medication could be meditation. I practice meditation, prayer and I, I mean I go to the gym and people go, well, how often do you, I'm like, it's 20, not 24, seven. I would be dead. I, you know, I do that every day and I, and I, I have to from my own mental state, you know, for it to de-center myself and to have that time for myself in the, in the morning. And then, you know, at nighttime, I, I've, it's just been a practice that I had done for several years now. And so it's so ingrained in me that it's just very, very habitual.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I tell people, it's like I'm brushing my teeth, so for me I do that. Then, you know, when it comes to the balance, you know, like, like you, you had to make a decision, like, you know, I have to cut back. And so for me, I, I will look at the entire year and I'm like, okay, how often was I ​gone, you know? Okay. And even from a financial standpoint, you know, okay, did I, am I, am I making a return on investment for this event? And sometimes I have to make a decision like, no, I'm not going to go to another conference or, you know, I already was gone three times in the last month. So I have to play that on in my head and say like, you know, I'm going to not do that, or I need a scale back. So just like you, you know, you just realize like, you know, it's too much.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And sometimes I, you know, I, like I mentioned in the questions, I said, you know, there's times when I have to be present. And it's hard because you know, the business becomes something. You just become so engrossed in and you want to keep moving, moving forward, which is understandable. But at the same time, you do understand that there's this little person with you and you only have such a small amount of time with them because I think about like, there's gonna be that day, you know, going to become 18 or it might even be sooner where he's like, I don't want to hang out with you mom. And I don't want to think about, Oh my gosh, I missed out on those years because your business can always essentially be there, but your child is not gonna always want to hang out with you. So, you know, I have to keep those types of things in mind.

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, no, I think that's really important. Um, I, I know, um, and I've said this before on the show that, you know, I made a decision, like I said, I have two kids, my oldest is 22, and when I graduated from law school, he was a year and a half; well he was a year old, when I graduated from law school. And by the time I, you know, passed the bar and started my own business or whatever he was, you know, two. And I had gone to, um, uh, continuing legal education class and one of the guys that was talking, um, was talking about how much time he missed with his son and you know, this was a male. And so he was talking about how he missed a lot of time with his son. And he regretted that. And that was the one thing, the one thing that when I started my business, I said, I'm not going to do that.

Shahara Wright:      Like, I'm not going to have my kid, not know who I am. Um, because I'm so busy working and I feel that, you know, throughout the years and it's been 20 years, you know, that I've missed out on a lot of things. There's a lot more I could have had or should have had or would have had had I taken a different approach. And so sometimes people will say, Oh, Hey, you, you know, why aren't you at this level? Or why aren't you doing that? And I think, well, it was because of the choices that I made, not to work, you know, or not to do certain things. And so of course that is impacting my business, but I'm okay with it. So I just wonder how you feel about that in terms of impacting your business. Kind of the would've, could've, should've, um, how you've managed to say, you know what, I'm okay with whatever happens because this thing is more important.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Absolutely. That's such an interesting topic. And I agree with you. You know, it's, it was interesting with your story because of all the things that you walked away with, it was that it had nothing to do with the business in a sense. Not a direct correlation. And so the fact that that was so important to you and that it carried throughout, you know, that that just says how much weight there is on that. And so for me, I completely resonate with what you said, because even when I got pregnant, I remember thinking like, Oh my gosh, I don't even know how to take care of kids. Um, you know, for me, I knew I needed to learn as I go. And you know, there was so much adjustments, but you know, and it's just, it's such an interesting thing where you don't even, you look back, you're like, how did they even do this?

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Right? How did I even just make this happen? And you would just see when I was pregnant and I was asking people who are already parents, they just go, I don't know, you figure it out. And I thought that is the dumbest answer. And now that I went through it myself, I'm like, okay, I see why they said that because you just figure it out. And so for me, you know, I, I do understand there's sacrifice and there's that balance. And you know, it's, it's this, it's weird because you have two kind of things. Okay. The child, like I said earlier, is only going to be a certain, a certain age for so long. So I know that it's not that our business can't get to that level. It just means not right away. And I'm okay with that. You know, cause there's some people that I see that everybody has different goals.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     And so, you know, when you're a parent, when you're, you know, particular for this situation, you know, when you're a mom you just inherently understand that you have certain goals. Yes, you want to grow your business, but yes, you do have a child. And so there's going to be that in a sense of delayed gratification. But I'm okay with that because at the end of the day, you know, you hear that, that one story that says, you know, when you're at your desk, then nobody's going to say, I wish I worked more. Everybody's, Oh, it's all right. It's always going to be this story that says that person, you know, I think it was at church, somebody talked about how they, obviously little pastors are going to pray over the person there who are going to, you know, it's time for them to pass pretty soon. And so they're praying and they said that a lot of times, you know, they'll notice that everybody will always be, the person that's about to pass away is always saying something like, you know, I wish I spent more time with my family.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     I wish I invested more into my relationship. And so just like you would that guy that you heard, I think about things like that. I take that kind of, I take that to heart because then I think about, I don't want to be that person that said, man, I, you know, I shouldn't have spent so much time on the business. I'm gonna think about my family. I'm gonna think about my son. I'm going to think about those things that are at the end of the day are way more important. And so when I can remember that, that grounds me. And then I don't have that regret. I'm like, yeah, you know what? I may not be there. I may not have X, Y, and Z and whatever. It doesn't mean I'll never get it. It just means not right away. And so when I think about that and have that, that I'm tunnel vision for that, that I don't want to go through that experience. It really helps me like, no, I'm cool, I'm good. I'm cause I don't want to have that. I don't want to have that regret. 

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, yeah. I think that's important, especially for us moms is, you know, and in doing our business, because I say the Facebook effect or have a social media effect where you see these people doing all these amazing things and you're like, Oh, you know, I want to do that. But what it takes to get that, the time it takes, the energy it takes when you're the sole provider, you can't really do both of those things effectively. I don't, at least I don't think, I've never met anybody that can.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Yeah, it's, it's, it's tough. I was going to say too, Oh, I'm sorry. Did I add to it? Cause you brought up, you brought the Facebook thing and it's hard because I, I'll, you know, if I'm going to be real, you know, there's times I'm like, well, let's be nice to have a solid partner.  They have that extra, it lets me know that you don't have to work, you know, and I'm not knocking anybody else's lifestyle. It's just you, you know, you can't but help compare and whether that's healthy or not, depending on what level you do it too, you know, we can be unhealthy, but it does make you aware. You're like, okay, that's just not my path. That's not how it worked out for me. That's okay. I'm not going to, I'm just not going to get that in that in the same way you did, but that's okay. We all have our own path or journey or story, but, um, but no, I, I'm very well aware of that Facebook, Instagram effect.

Shahara Wright:      Yeah. And I think you just have to, I think, you know, for us as single moms, I think we have to be okay with it not being that way. Um, you know, I, I talked about this a little bit and I talk about it more later, but I am very strict with my schedule and because I'm strict with my schedule, a lot of times people think, well, Oh, you're not really hustling or you're not really doing this. And it's not so much that I'm not, but that there's only so much time for that. Like I'm not, there's things I'm just not willing to sacrifice for the dollar and that's okay with me. Um, even though it may not be okay with somebody else and I'm not ever trying to obtain this certain thing just for other people to look at me at a certain way because there are only two people really in my life, you know, that I want to make sure that when they think about me, what their words are is that she wasn't ever there like that. That's to me is like my worst nightmare is that my boys would think, you know, you weren't ever really there for me and I, I totally, you know, um, a lot in terms of when I'm making my decisions about when and where I'm gonna be or how I'm going to do something that's not the conversation that, you know, you can be mad at me about a whole lot of stuff, but that's not the one thing you're going to be upset with me.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     It ain't going to be that one.

Shahara Wright:     Yes.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Oh wow. I love this. I love what you're doing. It's just amazing cause it's, it's a different world. It's a different mindset. It's a different place. Definitely.

Shahara Wright:     It definitely is. It definitely is. So, Jennifer, I know we could probably talk about this like all day. Um, I know I can. Um, and so we will chat more about this, but, um, let us know like how we can get contact with you. How can we support your business? How can we, um, you know, help you, uh, get your business where you want it to be by being supportive.

Jennifer Fontanilla:     Oh, thank you. Yes. If you want to get in contact with me and I will share the link with Shahara and if you can reach me, you can go on my site at www.jenfontanilla.com/gettheguide and then I also give her a mailing to um, you know, Instagram and Facebook as well. And then, um, if you go to my website, though, be a freebie about, um, 10 mistakes I like full printers make and so things that they're not doing. So if you want to go ahead and grab that free guide, feel free to go there. Um, but yeah, I'm pretty accessible. So, um, if you have any questions, if you are in a place where you know you've had these goals in regards to money and, um, for example, has been trying to do a budget or you've been trying to get things under control, but for some reason it's just not happening. It's not clicking and you have all the best intentions. Um, you know, reach out. We can do a 15 minute call. We can talk about that and see, um, you know what we can do. 

Shahara Wright:     Yeah, that's great. You guys make sure you connect with Jennifer. I, one of the things I would definitely want to do is do some special series around these issues, especially with single moms and money and Jennifer and I talked about maybe doing something later on so we'll definitely get something out to you because I think especially for us, single moms, this is such an important issue and topic, uh, you know, managing the money and even, I'm going to admit I'm not a brave money manager, but I mean even for those of you that are a top notch, um, this is something that I think you can't get too much of. Um, so make sure you reach out to Jennifer and I'm the connect with her. We'll have all the links and everything for you, but make sure you reach out to her. So thank you so much, Jennifer, for being a part. I really appreciate you coming and sharing your story. Thank you so much for being here.

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Thank you for having me. It's been great.

Shahara Wright:     Okay, you guys will, we will see you next time on Single Mom CEO. Okay, I'm going to get my speech together. We will see there and make sure that you like our Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/SingleMomCEOSuccess/
Check us out on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/shaharawright
 Um, and we'll see you next time. Have a good day. Bye

Jennifer Fontanilla:      Bye everyone.

​Kalilah Wright, born in Jamaica W.I., migrated to the United States at the tender age of 4 and was raised in Brooklyn, NY. She is the Founder and CEO of expressive brand Mess in a Bottle. As an accomplished designer and trained architect, she used her Masters degree from Morgan State University and Bachelors of Arts from Penn State University to establish the brand in January 2016 in Baltimore, Maryland. Mess in a Bottle allows you to put messages on t-shirts and are packaged in reusable bottles.

The Mess in a Bottle brand was established to evoke change, question Kalilah’s audience and allow individuals wearing their messages to be vocal without saying anything at all.
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Each item is designed and printed at her Baltimore in-house studio space.

Kalilah has participated in multiple pitch competitions and won the Wells Fargo Business Pitch competition at Blogalicious in 2016 and most recently, the 2018 iFundWomen pitch competition in conjunction with the Baltimore Ravens. Celebrities such as Serena Williams, Luvvie Ajayi, Lena Waithe, Yvonne Orji, and fashion gurus Claire Sulmers and Ty Tyrone, are all proud supporters of Mess in a Bottle.